How do you explain family problems in a personal statement without writing a sob story?

College Essays
1

I have had to deal with some serious problems:

  • mom was diagnosed with cancer, just declared cancer-free a few months ago
  • she was also hospitalized various times for infections
  • once, she was extremely sick and I was the only other family member at home. Had to take care of her for 2 weeks before she was hospitalized
  • grandmother (who lives with us) just diagnosed with cancer

though my problems aren’t as bad as some people’s, it’s certainly taken a toll me (and my grades). How do I explain these setbacks without making it sound like I’m trying to exploit my family members’ illnesses to justify a sub-par gpa?

2

Ask your guidance counselor to include all that in her letter. That frees up your essay to have a more upbeat tone.

3

Agree with @bjkmom Have your guidance counselor include it in his/her recommendation letter. It will be completely believable coming from a third party, it won’t sound like you are making excuses, and you can write your essay on another topic.

4

Definitely better if it comes from your GC. You can include a short statement in the “additional information” section of the CA, but don’t make it come across like you’re whining and/or making excuses

5

You don’t-GC only and only in very narrow circumstances. Frankly many kids have “serious problems.” It is what it is.

6

@stressedcandle I am sorry about your grandmother, and glad that your mom is doing better. It must have been very tough when she was so sick, and of course it affected you. I hope you have had lots of support in shouldering a heavy burden.

I agree with everyone that your GC will be the one to include this information, and you can write about something else.

7

If your guidance counselor is not explaining it, use the additional information section, again so your main essay can be less depressing.

In terms of not being a tear jerker, just write it from the point of view of an outside observer and stick to the facts.

For example My mom has battled cancer for the last three years. I had significant responsibilities taking care of younger siblings and preparing meals when she was weak from chemotherapy. The worst academic impact was in tenth grade when I missed eleven days of school when no other family member was available to provide full time care to my mom when she needed it.

8

I think that the best approach to writing about experiences that largely include other people is to use details sparingly. In this particular instance, you might write about why your grades were low. In the explanation, don’t say things about your family that aren’t necessary. Only add the details when they become immediately relevant to understanding a certain situation. Also, whenever you write about other people, make sure that point connects to you somehow, and supports the purpose of your essay. It sounds kind of shallow, but that’s essentially what makes the personal statement work; it’s supposed to be about you and your experiences.