How do you feel about using your professors first name?

Student Lounge College Life
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@austinmshauri - I never objected to the use of Mr. or Mrs. or Professor, which is harmless, and you will note that my original post suggested the OP use Professor until invited to do otherwise. Within reason, it is kindest to call a person whatever they prefer to be called, whether that is a particular gender pronoun or the use of Mr./Mrs.

Teaching relationships are more formal than intimate ones, however, and I did think it oddly old-fashioned and distancing that a parent my 8 or 9 (?) year old spent a lot of time with would want to be called Mrs., but that was her choice. We helped him process what had hurt his feelings a little, talking to him about how some people have old-fashioned ideas of what constitutes “respect.” He understood. He was a good and kind little boy, always. And that parent was clueless that it upset him; she adores him to this day, and she has been quite kind to him and us through the years.

More drawing my comments than the Mr./Mrs. issue is some of the assumptions at times implicit in this thread that children must treat adults as more exalted beings and adults must treat children as lesser ones, that children must respect adults and not the other around. I also think that many adults, though I am not saying this is true of anyone posting on this thread, confuse respect with blind obedience and subservience.

Adults should engage their students and their own children in conversations all the time. Classrooms should be rich in discussion. And recess aides should listen to what students have to say about what happens in the playground, etc., and never be dismissive. And the way my kid learned to be the great thinker he is, is that we always encouraged him to talk about his thoughts and think through his own impending decisions. From as young as I can recall!

(The lines I quoted were from something our school superintendent gave us to read. I am glad I am in a district that respects and empowers children. Most of our teachers use Mr/Mrs, but, as you point out, thst is not mutually exclusive.)

Your latest post suggests we agree on much.

As far as the OP’s post goes, I think we all have given him/her the same advice. I also think that a debate over child-rearing and/or pedagogical philosophies and/or the state of adultism in America— which I did not intend to start with my aside about how this reminded me of an incident— is not necessary and will add nothing more to help the OP.

Wishing you a good evening,
TheGreyKing

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MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I tend to agree with @TheGreyKing 's post above that the discussion of how children address adults/what adults should teach their children, etc, while fascinating, deserves its own discussion if one wants to pursue. However it is a bit too off-topic hear, so let’s move on.

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As a former professor, I found graduate students enrolled in the same department called me by my first name. This happened more often after students had taken a class from me. Undergraduates who a related to on of my friends or external activities may call me by my first name whe off campus.

Faculty, especially graduate faculty, have different relationships with undergraduate and graduate students. Undergrads can be much younger than faculty, given the time it takes to complete studies and obtain a position at a university. Even as faculty who looked like I was anticipating my 13th birthday did not consider undergrads to be peers. Undergrads are often very unfamiliar with aspects of university study such as faculty do not round up grades, give extra a credit, assign makeup work for a poor grade, do use class absences or leaving class early as a small part of the not argue the validity of test responses such as but eating is a symptom of anorexia, did not give credit when some students say that wasnt what I wrote in my class notes…Faculty has a very uneven relationship with undergrads because they use objective criteria to assign grades. This isnt mean but unrealistic in terms of status and rank. Would you call the President to policeman, etc. or call the Pope Francis by their first names.

About women faculty. For years my mail was addressed to Ms…Envelopes to men said Dr. regardless of position. My experience is only limited to 25+ years. Then there is the phone. For example, MS …Is Dr. Man available. I responded saying, This is Dr. , Mr. Man can not be reached at this number. I was not going upstairs to check his availability, but provided his number.

Even faculty when someone is new or outside the department or addressing well-known senior faculty address mega researchers, authors, etc. As Doctor. Always ask or wait until given permission. This is the traditional polite form of address.

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You could always just ask. “What should I call you?”

When in doubt, go with “Dr. X” or “Professor X.” Nobody is going to be offended by being called Dr. Johnson if they have no doctorate or Professor Johnson if they aren’t a professor. However, many a Dr./Prof. Johnson has been offended by being called Mr./Ms. Johnson or just “Sally” or “David” by an undergrad who doesn’t know any better.