<p>My son is a junior and, at this point, seems like he could care less about college. He is a very good student, did well on the PSAT, and just took the SAT. I try to get him to look at "virtual tours" of some college websites, and all he wants to do is go back to playing his video games. His male friends at school are similarly minded. Is this a boy thing? We did visit some colleges in DC this past summer and in Boston during the fall, but we had to drag him to all of them, although he did show some interest in the DC schools. So, how do you get your prospective student motivated? I don't want to be doing everything for him in this process. He has just started meeting with his college counselor one-on-one at his school; maybe that will help. His total lack of interest makes me wonder if we should even go to the expense of college. It's sad because he is bright, just not college motivated at this point.</p>
<p>Are you planning on another college trip this spring? How did you choose the colleges that you looked at on the previous two trips? I would find one of the more interesting college guidebooks, like the Insider’s Guide, and let him choose the schools.</p>
<p>IMHO, the kid really has to be self-motivated to start looking. If at all possible, a heart-to-heart talk with him about future plans might allow for a discussion of priorities and schedules that could lead to some serious digging on your son’s part to locate a place where he will fit in. You could also stress the earlier the better, regarding grants, visits etc. </p>
<p>Good luck, and check back and let us know how it went, or progresses.</p>
<p>It’s a personality thing… I had to drag my son all over the state looking at colleges. My daughter (a junior) on the other hand, is much more interested and has been doing virtual tours online, etc.</p>
<p>With my son, we basically found a couple of good in-state colleges that he would be happy with and didn’t bother looking at anything else - other than UA, which we learned about here on CC. He ultimately decided on UA (and is happy there) but he would have been perfectly content with either of the two in-state colleges that he applied to.</p>
<p>siliconvalelymom…</p>
<p>We were headed to Washington DC on a short vaca, so incorporated a college search into the vaca. Also, one thing S has expressed is an interest to major in Poli Sci, Government and maybe a minor in History. He worked for a political campaign last summer and loved it.</p>
<p>I will check out the Insider’s Guide to Colleges. Thanks.</p>
<p>nugraddad…yes, you are right…he needs to own this process; maybe his pushing away from it is because he knows it means growing up! I will try again with a heart to heart. Good idea.</p>
<p>RTRMom2 Interesting about your son and how different he was from you daughter. I have been trying to get S to do those virtual tours on line with me, but he could care less.</p>
<p>agree with RTRMom2 that the colege-engagement thing is highly specific to the individual kid. I’m through 3 now, and each has eventually gotten engaged, but at different rates. What worked for us was college visits…lots of them (the more uncertain/reluctant, the more visits providing a diversity of choices). After a certain point, even my most reluctant kid started to get engaged. As a parent, I was pretty obnoxious while on those visits to keep asking the standard questions like…what do you like & not like about this school, big or small, urban or boon-docks, etc. Our game, while trapped with me in the car music turned off until we completed our assessment, immediately after every visit (I never let them slide on doing this every time) was to re-rank every visited school still on the list under the assumption that the kid got into everyone of them. It was a simple game, and even the most reluctant didn’t seem to mind playing it (initially just to shut me up)…which I think eventually got them thinking more about why one would be better than another in their eyes.</p>
<p>BTW, the ranking game came in useful later on in developing the appropriate number of reaches, matches & safeties, as well as enabling persistent discussion throughout the process of which schools were prefered & why. I also think that this kind of (initially obnoxious parental) query & discussion helped each to overcome that natural reluctance for self-expression that can be so important in interviewing and essay-writing.</p>
<p>I think some kids do need to be dragged around by the scruff of the neck in order to kick start this process. I am sure that many of you remember when I told of the day that I forced dd to go to an open house @ Wesleyan U. She was dead set against it… pouted/arms crossed the whole way up… she couldn’t understand why we had to go… she had no interest in staying in CT for college, its a total waste of time/its a waste of gas etc etc etc…she refused the continental breakfast that everyone else was enjoying… was just a pain in the a** that morning… </p>
<p>Well guess what? 20 minutes in, she bends down and whispers in my ear, gleefully I might add, “Mom, I love this place” Parents always know better than a 16 year old. I am sure that some thought I was being unfair to drag her there on her day off from school/being too overbearing yada yada yada… I have heard it all from plenty of folks. But at the end of the day… I have her best interest at heart and kids need to be pushed sometimes… and forced to do what they don’t want to do… even if they are not owning the process at that particular moment.</p>
<p>If you can pinpoint a program he could get excited about perhaps that can spark some interest. Looking at videos online can only tell you so much. There is nothing better than visiting. Perhaps he will learn about the awesome programs at XYZ college and get excited about attending. Have him attend a few classes so perhaps he gets a more in depth view of the schools instead of just attending the info sessions.</p>
<p>There are also some great summer programs at some of these schools so maybe that would give him and insight as to what these schools are like too. e.g. Georgetown. Many are overnight camps and some even offer undergrad courses with credit.</p>
<p>My son is also a junior and to relax, he too resort to video games, as to all his friends. It’s what they do to relax, to wind down. It’s his little escape from all the stress. It does drive me crazy as well but I know that he is doing well at school so I put up with it. As long as his grades are fine, I guess I am too. However, I know that the end of junior year it’s a stressful time and perhaps the summer or end of spring he will show more interest and have more time to devote to the school search.</p>
<p>It’s good that he at least as an academic interest. You can use that to point him to specific programs at certain colleges to pique his interest, though you may need to do the research to find the right resources.
If possible, perhaps a summer program for HS students interested in PoliSci at a college? Here are a few - [Top</a> Summer Political Science Programs for High School Students](<a href=“http://collegeapps.about.com/od/extracurricular/tp/summer-programs-politics.htm]Top”>Summer Political Science Programs for High Schoolers)
I’m sure there are more if you hunt a little bit. Brown has extensive offerings, BU has some too [Summer</a> Programs for High School Students | Boston University Summer Term](<a href=“http://www.bu.edu/summer/high-school-programs/]Summer”>High School Pre-College Summer Programs | Boston University Summer Term)</p>
<p>Thanks BeanTownGirl. I also was thinking of getting him interested via the summer route and picked out 4 Poli Sci or History summer programs and printed the brochures for hiim and told him to pick one. He’s not having it. Says he’ll end up going and the kids won’t be like him and he won’t like it. Sheeesh!! He’s being a real PITA! He told his college counselor at school that I was trying to get him to do one of those programs and her response to him was, “Well, it doesn’t really matter WHAT you do this summer as long as you do SOMETHING.” Hmmmm…don’t know if that helped my cause or not! He tells me he is “stressed” by all the work at school this year and has to concentrate on that. I say that’s fine, but he also needs to allocate small pieces of time to the college search process!</p>
<p>I think we can’t overlook the fact that some kids are anxious about the idea of college. DS14 has participated in the search process, and wants to visit schools over spring break, but we have just had to declare the month of February a “college free” zone. He had a major meltdown the other night, saying all the talk and TALK and TALK of college is wearing him down. He said he is worried he might not be ready to go away. He worries he will pick the wrong school. etc. etc. The talk was much needed and cleared the air. It also helped me realize how some of my anxiety about the process has been spilling over onto him. So I am zipping my lips for now because I realize he needs a break.</p>
<p>OP, I am wondering how intense the college discussions have been around your house? Maybe it would be helpful to tell your son you are putting college talk on the shelf for now but will revive the conversation before spring break so that more visits can be planned.</p>
<p>Maybe it would also be helpful to have a conversation in which you ask him his plans after high school. Use an interested and non-judgmental tone of voice. Ask questions rather than making statements and resist the temptation to get your own points across. The attitude you want to convey is, the future is his. He is the captain of his ship. Where is he thinking of sailing? Is he perhaps thinking of trade school? Or would he rather work somewhere? Where is he thinking of working? Will he be getting an apartment? Etc. The goal is to get him to start thinking about his future. Maybe he hasn’t thought much about it because he has been putting his energy into pushing back at you.</p>
<p>I also drug my junior son to every school that I felt might be a good fit for him. I was finally able to discern his apparent lack of interest was due to being overwhelmed with choices that all seemed the same UNTIL he hit on his perfect school. Then, thank goodness, the search was over!</p>
<p>From the get-go, I told my kid that a Gap Year was an option. Want to go do X in country Y and mooch off family there? Great! Want to get a job and make money? Great! </p>
<p>Guess what? Late spring junior year kid started to talk college. </p>
<p>Give your kid the option of NOT going to college immediately out of HS. Once he sees that it is not a case of you have to do this right now, he may find it a more appealing possibility. If it isn’t appealing enough to put energy into just yet, maybe a Gap Year pursuing other interests would be just the ticket.</p>
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<p>That is exactly what I have been doing. I realized around Christmas that that was what was going on with my DS. I just kept quiet and tried my darnest not to nag or say anything regarding school, college apps, etc. Try to say something positive or say nothing at all. It worked. He is much happier and more receptive to our ideas.</p>