Our D has submitted all but one of her applications and has 2 acceptances back. We think it’s pretty likely that she’ll be accepted to all of them – part of her application strategy was to find schools where her stats put her in the top 25% and she’s looking mostly at public universities. Another part of her strategy was finding schools which offered her the possibility of merit money.
She has said that she would be fine to attend any of the schools to which she’s applied. We’ve done lots of college visits – more than once to some of these places. All of them would work for her but some of them are clearly a better fit. She purposely tried not to have a dream school, but two of the schools on the list are her favorites.
We set a budget at the beginning of the process. All of her schools have the potential of being within budget. However, one of them is really going to be far and away the least expensive. I think that her two favorites are going to be within our stated budget, but will probably be about 10k more a year than the least expensive.
I know that this is a family by family decision. Paying for the other schools is absolutely doable for us - we determined that at the beginning. But we are also not a point where 40k is negligible. And I don’t think that the two favorites are distinctly ‘better’ schools. But I do think they’re a better fit for her.
If your child did not attend their best financial choice, how did you make that decision?
My kid ended up choosing his “best financial choice” but not solely because it was the cheapest. It was the overall “best value” for HIM. We were prepared to pay a whole lot more than we’ve ended up having to spend. Please, if all of these schools are within your budget, consider the overall value each school is affording your daughter and allow her to choose the best school for HER. She sounds like a very reasonable realistic young woman, and you should reward that if at all possible. Otherwise, you probably shouldn’t have allowed her to apply to these other schools.
It’s like any purchase. I save up to buy a car and I go to the dealer knowing how much I have to spend. Do I buy the cheapest car on the lot, do I buy the most expensive in my budget or do look for the best value that is in my budget? It is a matter of what you feel most comfortable with.
“We set a budget at the beginning of the process…And I don’t think that the two favorites are distinctly ‘better’ schools. But I do think they’re a better fit for her.”
I did the same, and then let her choose. If you set the parameters (“as long as it’s in the budget”) then I don’t see how you refuse to allow her to attend one of the schools that even you believe would be a better fit. My D did not choose the least expensive school, but it was within the budget, and a great fit. She’s only a freshman, but she is very happy there. To me, it’s worth it.
And to answer your question more directly, My D is just a junior but the school that “we” see as the best value for her happens to be the most expensive. I think it important to weigh your D investment of four years of hard work into the value equation.
Did you buy the least expensive house possible? Car? Vacation? Why not? I think college is like anything else. You need to decide whether the extra money is worth it in your individual situation. I don’t think anyone else can really judge whether a potentially better college experience is worth the extra $10K per year to you.
I personally place a lot of value on the entire college experience, the peers, the social situation, etc. I feel that a large part of the learning is from students interacting with one another, and that it’s important to be a good fit environment for happiness and to make it easier to find good friends. But others view it as a class is a class, a degree is a degree, and kids can find success at any school, so why pay more for the degree? I see a lot of stuff for sale that I don’t feel any great need to own, but evidently a lot of people are buying it and presumably spending less on colleges.
I agree with @CaucAsianDad. (And that’s pretty much how we make most of our major purchases too). We went with best value and fit as well, not cheapest.
You also don’t have all the award letters in hand yet. It’s not clear how much merit she will get everywhere.
So wait until then, you might get pleasantly surprised.
I know we did not think we qualified for any aid, but got a state grant and it helps. My D also got a few local scholarships and it helps in the first year. She offered to take out loans as well to lighten the burden and works in the summer.
I think if I give him my criteria and he finds, applies, and is accepted into several that meet them, then it’s his prerogative to choose which school among them he wants to attend, with the understanding that saving us money now may mean other opportunities later.
Excellent question. We pretty much did what @suzy100 described. We set a budget. All but one school were estimated to meet that budget. When all the final costs were tallied, we threw out the one expensive school (D knew that was a possibility) and then D made the decision. There was only about $10,000 (only!) range among her schools so we were comfortable with any school she chose.
Our D and family approach is very similar to yours, including no dream school and the kind of merit she’s looking for. In the end, all else being equal and in budget, D will make the choice. She’s already proven that she’s got a good head on her shoulders, so why would we negate a decision where she feels she’d be happiest? If you have made the budget clear to her and what she would give up to go to the higher cost schools, let your D lead the way.
For me, when I see what 40K would buy, I envision a new car and a couple of nice vacations or some home renovations. If the fit was substantially better, for an extra 10K a year, I’d pay the extra and put other expenses on hold. However if the difference over 4 years was 100K or more, that would be a harder choice.
That said, if your child envisions grad school/med school/law school and would like some financial assistance later on, that’s also a different discussion.
Another vote for best fit and value for the specific kid. One of mine liked one of her safeties with merit aid best. She graduated Phi Beta Kappa and has a great job. The other wanted an academic challenge, but not an overly competitive environment. She ended up at the most expensive school on her list, and it has been worth every penny.
It is almost always possible to find a cheaper alternative - community college, living at home and going to a nearby college, going to the same school as a sibling or cousin and cutting down expenses - but most people don’t make that choice because they think there is a better value in another experience. Many people send their kids to private high schools because they think they are a better choice than the free public school.
I do think that the student needs to be award of the difference in cost and what that means to her. If she picks that less expensive school, you might be able to pay for a semester abroad or just a summer of traveling, she might not have to work during the semester, you might be able to pay for a car, extra trips home. $40k isn’t an insignificant amount and cost is a factor. It may not be the deciding factor, but it is a factor.
We are in the same boat, exactly. However, we are drawing on our experience with our oldest, who chose a state school that gave her a good chunk of merit aid, but that we didn’t particularly think was a good fit. Her friends were going there and she couldn’t decide from several options. Finally she just picked that because I think it seemed less scary to her than going somewhere where she knew no one. After a year and a half, she moved back home and ended up graduating from a local state school which was more expensive overall and also didn’t have any merit aid. So, the cheaper option was in no way cheaper in the end. If my husband gets too focused on the cheapest option, I remind him that the wrong choice can end up being way more expensive in the end. Of course there are no guarantees, but the best fit helps stack the odds at least. Good luck!!
Understand and we used the same approach. For a few, the merit award was not a given. H was firm at the beginning about sticking to a budget. We could have afforded any school but I could also see how it was not reasonable to spend much more for likely similar education and outcomes.
We did have one school that was by far the least expensive - full tuition scholarship. Although there were many good points for this school, S was not too enthused to keep it on his shortlist. Then H completely blew the plan out the water by deciding that he would not limit the options with a budget - very frustrating as S would have had a very different list!
We left the decision in S’ hands. The final 5 choices ranged from $28k/yr to over $64k. The most expensive is a well-regarded but not elite school. S had hoped for a potential merit scholarship from that school which is why he applied but he did not get the scholarship. Ultimately S decided on the the least expensive and seems happy with his choice (a freshman this year). Though I feel he has regrets about not applying to elite schools due to the initial budget laid out.
In our family, the kid that chose the in-state public flagship, cheapest college did not have to take out any student loans. The one that went private with merit and chose to not work much did. The third picked a reasonably priced (by today’s standards!) OOS public and will borrow some for the first year, but I think he will be able to earn enough in summer jobs to not have to do so for later years. We still paid/are paying a bit more out of pocket for these schools, but felt it was worth it based on what they offered and each kid’s needs (even if a bit painful at times). The kids have low levels of loans. We would not have agreed with loans that we had to co-sign for. I don’t think it is a bad thing for the kid to have some skin in the game.
None of them were able to go to their absolutely top choice due to finances. The merit money did not come through and the opportunities were not better enough that it was worth a full-pay private over merit money or public college.
Also, be sure to look at the graduation rates of the colleges. Some that may seem cheaper based on tuition, may end up more costly if it is common to take 5 years to graduate.
As twoin says, for many there will likely be a cheaper alternative, but it may not be the best choice. You have to weigh the opportunities for your daughter at the more expensive school vs the opportunity lost by not having that $40K in your bank account.
In our case, we had prepared enough resources for our D to attend any school of her choice (approved by us of course), including (expensive) private schools. She ended up choosing a flagship public school, not because of finance, but because it was the best for her future career. We invested the “found money” and told her that the investment was for her graduate school. She was then admitted to a fully funded PhD program and thus doesn’t need the money. We now told her that the investment would be for her start-up company. If she doesn’t have her start-up, the investment will be applied toward her first house.
FWIW, I made the opposite decision. My top choice was unaffordable due to a weak financial aid offer (its aid is much better now, since it decided to compete more actively with peer universities), and so I chose a university that in many ways was a complete opposite of my top choice. I found my niche on campus and wound up absolutely loving it.
Fit is important…but many students have the ability to flourish in a number of environments, and a student should be happy at any of his/her college options if a list is chosen properly. Also keep in mind that who a student is today can be rather different from who (s)he will be two or three years from now.
There is no one variable that should be ignored in the process. Price of course is a major issue and it sound like your D is very mature about understanding this… But after a school fell within our budget we looked for fit. Fit included a range of things such as size of school, location of school, strength in subject the kids wanted etc. If you feel the most affordable school is too far away then perhaps move to the next option. There is no right or wrong answer to this – it depends on the options available in the end. I wouldn’t worry about it until you get all of your choices/prices in.