We set the budget before the applications were sent. We did not say “you have to go to the least expensive option”.
Any school within the budget was acceptable to us.
Our kiddo did not choose the least expensive option either…and in our case, it was $20,000 or more per year difference in our out of pocket costs.
But it was still within our allotted budget.
I got an FA offer from my safety that dwindled costs to only $3k/year. FA from another school, one that was farther away from home than where I am now, lowered it to only $15k/year. At my current school, total OOS costs approach $40k/year. But the retention and graduation rates were much lower at the other two. I wasn’t going to settle for a clearly inferior school just because it cost less. I was always going to attend the school with the best FIT and VALUE.
I ran the net price calculator for about 25 schools, sorted by NET price, and drew a line to separate what we could afford, and what we could not. Yale was by far the most affordable but least likely school. We were focused on state bargains when Yale said “Yes”
Here is my two cents on this from my older son’s experience… he applied to 5 schools was accepted to all. One in state school gave him a substantial merit scholarship that came out to less than half $$ of what the others cost… but he wanted gov/politics degree and we figured NJ was hardly the ideal setting for a gov politics as opposed to DC w regards to internships, quality of faculty expertise in field, and a plethora of other things we used to justify…
So we paid twice as much and went to school in DC- where he did excel academically and had amazing internships on Capital Hill etc… but after 2 years he decided that he hated gov politics and wanted to switch to business.
I wasn’t going to pay the big $$ for him to start over there in business (what if he decides he doesn’t like business?) so I told him he had to transfer to an in-state school for financial reasons.
Well needless to say he is at the original school that offered him the half price scholarship only now -despite his deans list 3.8 college transcript -he wasn’t offered any merit $$ bc the really don’t give transfer students any merit$$ like you get out of high school- anywhere!
They are young/ have no idea of what they really want and many things change for them along the way.
He has a brother who I have told to go for the least expensive best school you can get (in this case he has a full ride to a few schools for merit- but they aren’t the prestigious schools that he wants) and then you can go to Grad school anywhere you want when you are super focused… BEWARE THEY CHANGE MAJORS A LOT AT THIS AGE so it can really cost you if you don’t prepare… Wish you and D the best of luck!
^depending on your financial circumstances and the DC school, it could still have been profitable for him to stay in DC because the DC schools offer a lot of internship opportunities, and carries sway with lots of government agencies/contractors (which are business) in the MD/VA area… whereas a random business degree may not be well-considered by these companies. It all depends on what he wants to do: Supply Chain Management? Real Estate? Finance?
Keep in mind that top MBAs actually prefer students without a business degree (Stanford leans toward STEM, many programs like to see foreign language mastery and leadership, and of course most want to see professional experience) … but they do consider “top business schools” (ie., Mendoza, Ross, Stern…) with no problem because they know these programs are essentially a double degree in business and in a traditional subject/liberal arts.
G’Town, in addition, is a target, meaning it’s heavily recruited for high-paying finance jobs (one of the few fields where you can easily recoup your college investment, and into which you can’t “break” from non targets because those firms won’t look at resumes outside of specific colleges.)
Obviously, this only applies if you were able to pay his college out of pocket/savings, not if you had taken on PLUS loans; and if you’re comparing George Washington with Miami-Farmer or UWA Foster, then, returning back home makes a lot of sense even if you could afford both schools… but if you’re comparing G’Town, GWU, or even American, with SUNY Plattsburgh or UW Bothell, then the peer group as well as resources and opportunities are very different.
For instance, if you can’t afford NYU Stern, Baruch is a great, cheaper alternative with superb outcomes and a truly “aspirational” college. If the choice is Stern with PLUS loans or Baruch debt-free or even against Baruch with Stafford “only”, Baruch wins hands down. But no one can pretend it’s the same as Stern and offers the same opportunities to all students, so that you could easily choose one or the other without thinking twice if you could afford the former.
That’s where “value” comes in. What if the Stern vs. Baruch had applied to Fordham and, due to high stats, got a good scholarship and got Macaulay for Baruch? Suddenly the choices are better. NYU Stern vs. John Jay (which, unless I remember wrong, is a genuine example from last admission season) is catastrophic, especially considering John Jay doesn’t offer a degree in the applicant’s intended major and NYU’s reputation for gapping students…; there’s no “good value” here: either a cheaper college that doesn’t allow the applicant to have the major they want, or a college they can’t afford. The only solution was a gap year…
I feel as though I may have used a poor choice of words in the first post regarding ‘budget.’ I don’t think we’re trying to weasel out of a promise and I know that D doesn’t feel that way at all. What we said at the beginning was more along the lines of ‘anything over this price is a non-starter – we’ll evaluate your options when we know what we’re dealing with.’ I know it sounds like splitting hairs, but none of us (including D) have been using that number as ‘anything up to that is ok.’ But we also never said that she had to go with the cheapest option.
What makes it more difficult is that she likes the much cheaper school. We would have been fine with her applying to more schools than she did, but she only wanted to apply to schools where she felt she’d be happy to attend. I think that the schools are pretty much of the same quality, and I think that the students are of a very similar caliber.
She definitely likes the two top choices best (as do I) but she likes the others as well. There are differences between them, but all of them would be good choices even if she changed her major. I want her to pick one of the top two because I think that one of the material differences between them and the cheaper one makes them a better choice. And because we all just liked the atmosphere at those two the best.
I guess my question is more along the lines of – how do you convince yourself that it’s ok to spend 40k more on something based mostly on a very subjective idea of where you will be happier when the choices are objectively very similar? The 40k is totally do-able but will not be transparent. (Assuming of course that circumstances do not change appreciably.) I think that H in particular will have a very hard time making that justification. I don’t have a hard time making that justification, but I also don’t want to feel like we’re being crazy.
We did net price calculators for some (not all) of the schools earlier in this process. I think that the incredible savings of the least expensive option felt much more removed before we got so much closer to the decision!
I don’t see why this makes it difficult. That makes it easy.
I agree with Erin’s Dad. If she picks the cheaper school be glad. And if you want to be very gracious, you could do something extra nice for your D since she’s saving you lots of money. Fund a summer program abroad, for example.
@MYOS1634 We are lower income but full pay due to savings and not living beyond our means is it worth it to spend entire savings on NYU (is need based only no merit) when son could get a full merit ride to Rutgers? Do you really think these big schools are worth 250k total when you can go to a decent school for free and invest that 250k for grad school or future? Unless you want to go into finance (our sons don’t) I can’t see it paying off… I just can’t.
OP, your daughter sounds very reasonable, and the beauty of applying only to schools that she feels she would be happy at is a plus. That is how my daughter felt, and for her each subsequent merit offer brought our contribution down, sometimes by a little and sometimes by a bit more. As that happened she fell in love with the next cheaper option. When she got the last offer and our costs dropped significantly more, and on top of that it was a school that was otherwise way out of our price range so she knew not to wish for or plan for it with any major intensity all along. It was as if she was just meant to go there in the first place. By far the cheapest, and 15000/yr below what we had budgeted, and in the end the best fit. She feels like a pig in ***t there, so happy and doing exceptionally well. It doesn’t get better than that.
This approach is going to work great for your daughter too. You have to see how it all plays out. It is way stressful and exciting.
No, you’re absolutely right. In your example, Rutgers (and TCNJ) = better choice. But a student who can get full merit at Rutgers may also get a very large scholarship at Fordham. Baruch would be another option, especially if the student is interested in accounting. It shouldn’t just be Rutgers or NYU.
It also depends what the closest state school is, what your son wants, etc. Specifics matter. Living in NJ and in Central Arkansas don’t offer the same “closest state school”, business programs, and internship opportunities, for instance.
Rutgers is not everyone’s cup of tea. The new Honors College is great, but I, personally, would not have liked to go there (campus set up, in particular + size). But if your son has the stats and doesn’t like Rutgers, he has many choices. (If he likes Rutgers, it’s a great university and a great choice for NJ students. Lots of depts are very strong.) TCNJ is another great possibility.
Many universities, big and small, North and South, will have good scholarships for someone with a 1400CR+M and the type of profile that warrants admission to Rutgers Honors. For someone who wants a co-op program, U Cincinnati and its Cincinnatus program + co-op (deadline Dec 1) would be great. For someone who worries about non custodial parents, UChicago (for the intellectual set) or Vanderbilt (for the more “typical collegiate” type) don’t need that info. For someone who wants a LAC, there are lots with both excellent need-based aid and merit, accross NYS, PA, and OH in particular, and if you’re willing to explore the Midwest and the South there are real bargains to be found.
NYU isn’t need-based only, by the way, it factors in merit, but it gaps most students horribly. So, if you’re one of the lucky few to get sufficient funds from NYU, great. If not, spending all your savings on NYU is a real waste and I absolutely wouldn’t advocate it.
However, there are many “big schools” which may be a better value (academics + fit) for your sons than Rutgers, depending on what they want to study.
NYU is not Columbia, Williams, UChicago, or Pomona - all elite schools where the financial aid is totally different from the one at NYU.
And if you’re after merit, apply to many universities - all students want to have choices, even if in the end they decide on whatever is the closest and cheapest school to you, which you secretly hoped they’d pick 
Very important: most financial aid is based on income, NOT savings. So, you may well qualify for financial aid (beside the federal loans). I think savings are counted up to about 6% and retirement savings aren’t counted at all. Of course each college has its own formula so ymmv… hence the need for running the net price calculator for every single college you’re considering.
If you are lower income, 100% need colleges may well be the best deal for you (if your child is a high-achieving student). Universities at the top of the rankings offer excellent financial aid to families who make up to 125K; Harvard, for example, limits your financial contribution to roughly your state university’s cost or about 18-20k. Of course, that’s Harvard, but if you earn 180k, yes you should see Harvard at 18k as a better deal than a full tuition scholarship at Rutgers. The networking alone is worth it. If you make 75K or less, your contribution is waived - your child will have to pay for his books, personal expenses, transportation, and may have to take on a loan, but that’s it.
“lower income” is defined in various ways: for most 100%need colleges, it means up to 75K. For Pell Grants, it means an income up to 40-50K for a family of 4 (this level of income doesn’t get full Pell, which is for EFC O or an income of 24K.)
Have you run the NPC’s?
If her preference is the less expensive one, then it seems that the choice is easy.
We were very clear as to what our budget was. D had several schools she could have attended tuition-free. Her top choice offered her a scholarship of 80% tuition - which meant it was within the budget we had decided. Had it been me, I would have gone for one of the tuition-free options, but I grew up having much less than my kids did and honestly was thankful just to go to college (first generation student), whereas I raised my kids to expect to go to college. Ultimately D chose her top choice, and it’s been such an amazing experience for her. We would have been in a better place financially had she chosen a cheaper option, but we committed to a certain amount and now I’m glad we did. It’s not like we’re struggling, it will just be a bit longer before we can indulge in some luxuries I look forward to.
If D had chosen one of the cheapest options we would have been fine with that as well, but she didn’t apply to any schools that we didn’t feel would be a fit. Ultimately she chose the school that clicked with her the most, and that met the most criteria on her wish list.
Her preference is not for the less expensive one - it’s for two others. She likes that one, she loves two others.
@InigoMontoy Did you and your spouse have any doubts about that decision? Was there a large financial difference between the choices?
You have a lot of time and things can happen between now and spring. Have her apply for local scholarships. The last week of April, my daughter was awarded a renewable scholarship worth $20K over four years. That could have been a game changer had my daughter been hoping to attend a higher priced school. If the cheapest school is not too far away you might want to have her attend an admitted students’ day or maybe do an overnight visit. At least you could feel like you gave it fair consideration. If it’s ruled out, you’ll feel ok about it. Our goal was never to get our daughter the cheapest education available. We wanted bang for our buck. If we were going to spend more we wanted to feel like it was worth it. We opted to spend more than the cheapest one and we really felt like it was a good decision. However in November we didn’t know that. We had to go through the process to reach that conclusion.
We did not pick the cheapest or even the second cheapest even though they were good schools. Why? Because the only way they were the cheaper was because the merit aid was better. So what we did was also look at what the cost would be if he lost his merit aid… at that point we felt that in state was the way to go. Everyone assumes their kids will be able to keep their GPA at 3.0 or 3.5… but in reality a number of them don’t.
D isn’t attending the cheapest option on her list. She’s at the 3rd cheapest option. The 2 cheapest were local, giant public universities that are highly ranked. I’m sure she would have found her way at either of them while living at home. The 3rd cheapest was a perfect fit private liberal arts college. With housing, it came out to about 5K more than if she’d have stayed home (and cheaper than her other in-state public sleep-away universities.) To us, 20K difference over 4 years was worth the opportunity to attend a school exactly what she wanted and the opportunity to live away from home and across the country. She’s a sophomore and we have no regrets.
How you choose depends so much on all the factors… are the schools apples to apples or apples to oranges? Are you talking the difference between living at home or in the dorms? How comfortable is the budget? All sorts of things.
I would also factor in travel costs.
Like turtletime, my D didn’t select the cheapest option on her list either (#3 of 4 we could afford) but it was within our means. The #1 cheapest was an OOS Public University Honors program (in-state tuition award + $6K merit), #2 was a private college ($34K merit.) We said if she selected Colleges #3 or 4, she’d have to take out more loans (gave her a maximum amount we could contribute.) After visiting schools it was clear that #3 was the best fit academically and socially. She hated the plane ride for #2 (it was also more $), and that factored into her decision not to select that school. #3 had several airlines with non-stop, cheap flights so she could come home twice a year if she wanted, and she also liked the city and college campus better. This year she’ll save $ living in an apartment with roommates, which helps us financially. We would have paid less for her to attend #2, but it was worth the extra money to have her attend a private university that was the strongest fit for her, and we’ve never looked back.
How do you not choose the least expensive acceptable option when you buy anything?
I recently bought a new black cardigan. I found several styles that fit well and were in my price range. I didn’t choose the cheapest because, well, I liked another one better.
Haven’t we all had similar experiences – whether with clothing, cars, restaurants, or other goods and services. Why not with colleges?