While extremely grateful, sometimes in school and even on CC it gets difficult to not compare what you have to others. I know a lot of people that go to schools other people think they should go to based on prestige rather then what’s best for them. I got rejected from my top choice school, yet so many from my school got in. Naturally it makes me feel bad. How can I stop comparing myself to them, and dwelling on options I don’t have?
Spend more time focused on the school you will be going to. Join the Facebook group, start a packing list, look at classes and graduation requirements in your possible major. Research student supports on campus. Do they have a writing center? Do departments offer tutoring? Be up to speed so you can take advantage of those right away in the fall. Are you signed up for orientation? Look over the list of clubs and see if there are some that look interesting. Look over the career center website. Is there info about internships you could apply for in a year or two?
Start looking for a summer job so you will ha e more spending money when college starts.
Recognizing it’s a problem is step one. I don’t know if there’s ever an easy way except to learn more about what is great about the school you will be attending. I can tell you many eons ago my kid got rejected from his first choice, but in retrospect, not only did the school he ended up at (3rd for 4th choice) get him to his dream job, I think for any number of reasons (both academically and socially) it actually ended up being a better place for him.
Good luck, but I do think people who bloom where they are planted will be happier in life.
Look at your name
Do that!
Just be happy and thankful for the opportunity that you do have and make the most of it. Start looking up clubs and activities at the school you will commit to and get excited about your new adventure. Join the Facebook and other groups. If you didn’t commit yet… Then do so. Start the search for a roommate.
Also be happy for your friends that did get into that school.
What you are about to find out a year from now is that you are not going to imagine that you could of actually been at any other school then the one you committed to. This happens every year on cc.
There are also some students on cc that got shut out for various reasons. The competition the last 2 years has been insane. Just be happy your going somewhere. Many would trade with you right now.
Also you are special in your own way. You will find your people at any school. I told my kids that you don’t have to be the same kid you were in high school. You can reinvent yourself.
My son didn’t get excited about any of his options till he had options. His theory is why dwell on options I don’t have?
All his friends are still friends regardless what school they go to now. In reality, no one really cares. Not even the kids themselves.
Be the best person you can be and move forward.
What really matters is that you go to a college that:
- You can afford
- That fits YOU…not other people
- You put the effort into
- You were admitted to
I have read stories where people went to the most prestigious college they got into because it was the most prestigious…but they hated and transferred back home.
You can only worry about colleges that you were admitted to. Other people may be going elsewhere…but you are going to a school that you were admitted to. Maybe you are not really ready for that other college. Maybe it was luck of the draw.
Other people may have gotten into “better” colleges…maybe their family can afford that. You need to work with what your family has and make the best out of it and not end up with huge loans.
College is really what you make of it…interact with professors…join clubs…do research…attend events. It is easy to just go to class and do homework…but there are so many opportunities at colleges that you can take advantage of no matter the “prestige” of the college.
Remember the first kid who went to Duke didn’t think it was that prestigious. In 1984 UCLA had a 74% acceptance rate. And Dartmouth and Cornell in the 40s. Northeastern was a commuter school until the 70s and 80s Boston College was the poor Irish kids. You needed a note from your priest and you probably got in. Lol.
Prestige is a funny and fluid thing. It was a big deal 20 years ago to get a job with the Madoff investment group and amazon sold books online. Things change.
Go to your school and be the best you can be, and the school prestige nonsense will keep rolling along.
Focus on goals. Do your options allow you to reach your goals?
Need to find ways to focus on your life rather than comparing yourself to others. Will help later in life as well. There will always be possible comparisons. To careers, houses, cars, kids, spouses, etc. Can make yourself miserable. Your happiness should not depend on what other people (at least outside your family/close friends) do.
In HS I read what I’m sure was a terrible poem …but its essence stuck with me. It was about a driver in a car on the highway and how he was angling to pass the car in front of him – he desperately wanted to get ahead of the other car. Then he finally did pass it, only to find another car in front of him. And that is kind of life – there will always be people in front of you and behind you. You will never pass everyone and you will not be passed by everyone. So it seems to me that the sane thing to do is to go at a pace that works for you and enjoy the drive.
Learning to enjoy your options and your life is a wonderful skill to learn. At every stage, there will be opportunities to compare and breed discontent. Run your race and compare yourself to your goals and prior achievements. Be so thank you that you get to go to college and be determined to make it the best 4 years of your life, so far.
In the greater scheme of things once you know where you are attending whether it’s your first choice or not you are all starting towards your true goal from the same place, as freshmen. Each of you has the same control over where they want to go (while in college), how well they do, what opportunities they create and the goals they achieve. Unless you have chosen badly you will forget how important where you got into was by September. You’ll be too busy to care. Good luck, work hard and have fun.
I agree with the above advice to just get excited about it as you can. Put it on social media (putting my college in my Instagram bio was so exciting to me), join Facebook groups, sign up for orientation, visit campus if you haven’t, look into courses you can take, research clubs and attractions on campus and in the area, and start imagining yourself for the next 4 years and how much fun you can have. I completely relate, it feels bad to miss out on prestige, but remember why you applied to your other schools in the first place and remember that your education and experience is much more important than a name brand.