<p>@"Subversive Asset" </p>
<p>“What struck me about this snippet I have quoted here is that it shows a sense of urgency and discipline from your parents. Maybe I’m just projecting from <em>my</em> experience, but I know that coming from a comfortable background, I always thought, “Why are my parents stricter than my [mostly white] friends’ parents? What is there to worry about? We are doing well, so what’s the big deal?” That’s the vibe I get from your parents too, so I wonder if you also think that way some times.”</p>
<p>I used to think my parents were too strict. But the thing is, I only felt that way if I was around other kids who’s parents weren’t as strict, and I would try to emulate these kids. That proves peer pressure definitely exists and can affect anyone. I think that if I had been sent to public school with the way my parents are, I would have serious problems.</p>
<p>But by now I think I take my school work pretty seriously, as in my mother doesn’t have to bend over backwards to make me study, or my father doesn’t need to raise his voice to make me pay attention to his physics lessons. They are a good influence and I think the values eventually just rub off on a kid, even if he/she thought they were too strict when he/she was younger.<br>
And, yes, they are definitely down on the discipline thing. </p>
<p>“You are actually pretty self-aware. (First of all, I will say that anyone who recognizes their own privilege instead of looking at it as an accusation is ahead of the game. And I want to say this as a compliment. Self-awareness is such a great trait to have and to cultivate.) You recognize that a) you are privileged but that b) you have some things in your life that are not common. It’s just that you don’t seem to think that your unique circumstances are as ‘compelling’ as others (as you wrote in another comment, talking about being deprived of ice cream doesn’t seem like a good essay to put up against someone whose teeth are rotting out…)”</p>
<p>Thank you very much. I actually was a little worried that some people would think I was bragging, (one person did), but I have absolutely nothing to boast about in being relatively well-off.<br>
My father is an engineer. He makes money. I’m a lowly high school student with nothing to my name. My mother has an M.S. And I’m, again, a home schooled high school student.<br>
This is just a simple genetic lottery. You and I have apparently lucked out and we have done nothing. What’s there to brag about?</p>
<p>“1) As others have said, the essay is a way for the admissions folks to find out about <em>you</em>. You don’t need a sob story – although sob stories are gripping. You just need something that shows more about you. As others have discussed, one great thing you can do is just talk about the things that you have <em>accomplished</em>. Since you’re not undergoing x sob story or y catastrophe, what sort of great things do you have the time/resources/support to do?”</p>
<p>And finally, the original question about my essay. </p>
<p>After I posted this thread, that same day, I went to the library and picked up three books that I had ordered filled with real College Application essays. And now I understand why this question may have looked ridiculous to some here. The essays are great, and only one or two I have read are real sob stories.</p>
<p>Since I’ve started high school, I’ve been trying to make sure I have the perfect transcript and studying for standardized tests. I attended a seminar on College Application essays, and the woman kept saying that we had to describe how we grew after overcoming a challenge. She kept emphasizing upon this and insinuating that this is the only way to go. (obviously, she was trying to sabatoge us). And then I watched that video with the Amherst University admissions officers. And then I read some essays that reflected the overcoming-challenge theme. And so naturally I started panicking. Silly.</p>
<p>I have things that I’m passionate about (eg. CGI, Computer programming, and most of all, foreign languages) and life experiences. I guess I’ll be fine.</p>