<p>so im really struggling with essays and any type of feedback would be helpful.</p>
<p>I was planning on writing an essay on something personal that happened to me i guess? or a risk that i took i guess you can say? </p>
<p>So when i got into high school, it wasnt really a "good" one. I mean one of the lower ranked schools. I reapplyed 9th grade, and i got into a school ranked top 5 in the city. (i think its #2) Well anyways i didnt really want to transfer because i was in a pre-med program at the school i was already in, but through pressure and stuff...i did transfer. So when i got there i lost a lot of credits and i wasnt getting classes that i should have been. So the "risk" i took was transfering out back to my old school, where i would say im doing just fine now.</p>
<p>I guess i want to incorporate how its important for me to go to a good college to prove some people like family wrong? again, im not sure because im really confused with all this essay planning and writing stuff.</p>
<p>Would this be a good topic? is it hackneyed in any way? Any feedback/ pms will help.</p>
<p>Don't do it. Do not speak badly about any school you've attended or are considering attending, or even schools you would never want to attend. Do not discuss rankings.</p>
<p>Talk about you, what you've done, not your school's reputation.</p>
<p>Also, I think it's bad to write about a college because you want to "prove" people wrong. First, it's an insult to the college for having no better reason to attend. Second, you're hurting yourself. Do you really want to go to college just to prove other people wrong, or because you want to expand your horizons/learn beyond high school/etc? I agree with Chedva, talk about your accomplishments, how you would contribute to the school, etc.</p>
<p>Ok, i guess i kind of gave everyone the wrong idea. Expanding my horizons and things like that is my intent. I was basically giving a brief to you guys about the situation. Ofcourse in the essay i will talk about the Risk i took which was trasnfering out of the school, especially since it was a good one (which there is no need to mention). Also its quite obvious in my transcript in how that semester, i recieved the lowest grades in all of my highschool career (dont get this wrong, im not going to mention grades in my essay, they can see that in the trasncript). But i was able to over come that, and pulled all my grades back up and got myself back together, and that even though the adjustment was hard i was able to pull through. SO i thought if i write about an essay of that specific risk, it would explain and answer a lot of questions.</p>
<p>anymore feedback? or responses? also, any suggestions on how i can turn this into a better essay topic then i am explaining?</p>
<p>by the way, i AM currently attending the school that i was originally accepted to, in case this is confusing some of you, i did transfer back</p>
<p>though (maybe) nobody has written anything like this, i doubt whether this kind of material will make a good essay. sorry but i've got to admit your story looks like this in my head: u got into high school, u transfered, then u regretted and transfered back. It'll be hard to say about determination and things like that in this case, though I know u have lots of such.
Think of the more positive things that u might want to tell to adcom. For example, you have taken all opportunities available in your high school. Or your dream of becoming a doctor. Or anything else that can not be seen in your transcript. Also, I think u can explain your grade drop somewhere else, not in the main essay.</p>
<p>Agreed, I fail to see the original intent of the topic. What are you trying to let colleges know about you? And the fact that you transferred back undermines your whole risk-taking determination point you're trying to get across. Maybe you should write about your passions/dreams, like ccnovice said.</p>
<p>^ hmm, alright those are good, Thanks guys. But if the question every comes up about why i transfered, wouldnt i have to explain that as well?</p>
<p>So maybe ill change my essay to how i joined my leadership team and how all the events we did made me get so involved in school and helped me so much in terms of growth. Also how i got into student government to support more causes (which we do every month, this month is lupus) and things of that nature. Would that be much better? I guess this can also be incorporated with my dream of becoming a doctor, helping others.</p>