How far is too far?

I’ll be 17 when I enter college and won’t be 18 until pretty close to the end of the year. The college that I’m really interested in right now is a 13-14 hour drive away and a plane ride probably wouldn’t be any easier. My parents want me to find a college closer to home but also not one in a big city that isn’t safe. (there’s also the option of going south and staying near other family but I really hate the heat)
I’ve looked at colleges nearby but are not really interested in any of them. I’ve had experience with being away from home, this summer I went to a camp almost all the way across the country, flew there with some others going to the camp (who i didn’t know before attending) and was fine. That was only a week of course and it was free.

There is no set answer to that question. Many of us have kids who attend school on the opposite coast. Proximity to easy flights matters. Perhaps in your case, the bigger issue is safety. Is the school in a safe area of the city? Is on campus housing guaranteed? Have you visited as a family while school is in session? What is your budget? Is this an out of state school that isn’t worth the money compared to in-state?

The more you seek to understand your parent’s concerns, the easier it will be to arrive at a compromise solution.

Logistics are a headache for a school farther away. My kids were both far away. It was close to impossible to come home for Thanksgiving, we had to buy plane tickets back and forth for breaks, and they had to store stuff over the summer at or near school.

That said, your parents may have other reasons. Are there cost issues? Public universities are expensive for out of state students. If you tell us where you live, what the school is you want to attend, and why you like it, we might be able to come up with suggestions that could satisfy both of you. Also tell us something about your financial situation.

The school is Cornell College, I like it because of the block plan mostly. I live near the border of PA/MD right in the middle, and I doubt that I’m going to get really any money from my parents as my mom just finished law school and my dad is going back to school… I haven’t really talked to them about it but I’m pretty sure that that’s the case.
Mostly they want me close to home because I’ll be going a year early. My dad’s even talked about making me stay at home for the extra year and go to college when I was supposed to.

OK, so this isn’t in a big city. That was a hypothetical about another school. I can see where flying is an issue and I agree with @intparent on logistics. Our D won’t come home for Thanksgiving. Why not take the gap year? Don’t rule that out in a compromise.

Are you trying to graduate from HS early, or are you just young for your age?

If finances are a big issue, you may not be able to be picky about things like the block schedule. I don’t see that as a great reason to go across the country for a college, honestly. There are TONS of good colleges in within 5-6 hours of you.

Colleges will expect your parents to pay some, and Cornell does not meet need. I think it probably is not going to be a realistic choice for you.

A few questions:

  • Do you live in PA or MD?
  • What are your stats and possible major?
  • What can your parents afford to pay? You need to discuss that with them.

Every college has a net price calculator on their website. Your parents can put in their info and see what you would be expected to pay. They might want to try it with a couple different scenarios, since your parents are transitioning between school & work.

I took a couple of high school courses in middle school that the credits counted from and ended up with enough to where I’ll be graduating a year early. Didn’t even realize that it would cause it until I started 9th grade and found out that I was going to be placed as a junior this year because of the credits. I live in PA, and I want to do pre-med but I haven’t decided on a major, probably psychology or something like that.

Ah, PA is tougher than Maryland. Your public schools are on the expensive side even for in-state students. Can you give us your unweighted GPA and test scores?

I believe my gpa is 3.2. The online system isn’t really working right now so I can’t check. I haven’t taken any tests but I’m planning on taking the psat this year and then the june sat

Well… you aren’t very well positioned for scholarships or admission to schools that meet need, your parents don’t want to or can’t pay much, and you live in a state with expensive public schools. Going far away is going to be the least of your worries.

Can you stay in HS if you want to and raise your GPA?

I’m pretty sure I can raise my gpa by a good bit this year, but for staying in HS, I don’t know.

With a 3.2 GPA and no test scores and a tiny school with not-so-great financial aid at the top of your list, you are putting the cart before the horse.

Build your list from the bottom up: cheap, local safety schools first. Then debate with your parents about adding more exciting places to the list, but make sure they are going to be affordable.

@Cannkat

Mt. Vernon, IA is a nice, fairly quiet, and safe small town.
The block system - you’ll either love it or hate it. Most people I know who went to Cornell College loved it.
re: “…and go to college when I was supposed to.” In my opinion, you are supposed to go to college when you are ready for the challenge. If you are ready for tougher classes, and more independence, whether you are 17 or 18 (or 16 or 19) seems a bit arbitrary.

My DD did not look at Cornell College because it was too close to home, however that school is one I would be fine sending an underage kiddo off to.

I’d stay in school, raise your GPA, take the most rigorous courses available in your HS, take the time you need to study and do your best on standardized tests, and become involved in your school and/or community. All of these steps will allow for personal growth and will give you the best shot to get into schools you will want to attend. Life is a journey, not a race.

And if your parents are paying for college, then I hate to say it but too far is what they say is too far (unless you can convince them otherwise).

Can you drop something like English so that you still need to take it next year to have 4 years of English?

I’m entering my junior year (should’ve been sophomore). Technically I might be able to, but I’m taking a course that I really want to take this year and skipping two years of english sounds like a bad idea.

I do just want to address that big city doesn’t necessarily inherently mean “unsafe.” There are lots of big cities that are very safe places to be; the only difference is that there are more people.

Why do you want to go to a block plan college? What is it that appeals to you about that?

If you’re not going to get much aid from your parents, you’ll need to focus on colleges that either award a lot of merit aid for your stats or will award a lot of financial aid for your bracket. With a 3.2, both of those will be a little out of reach.

The state-related universities in PA (Temple, Penn State, Pittsburgh) do tend to be more expensive, but the PASSHE schools are more affordable. For example, the annual cost of attendance for a PA resident at Millersville University of Pennsylvania is less than $24,000. Many of the PASSHE schools are residential campuses.

Temple and Pitt are both about $8K per year more than a PASSHE school. Penn State is more money than both of them (funny, given that it’s in a more rural area).

You say you’re a junior this year, but it should be sophomore. Just to get this straight: You have two more years of high school to go (junior and senior year), but if you didn’t have the extra credits from middle school it would be three more years (sophomore, junior, and senior)?

I would talk to a counselor and see if you can go to high school for three more years and take every possible AP or community college course you’re eligible for that could give you college credit. I guess it’s possible, but it seems odd that a high school would force someone to graduate in three years as soon as they had the absolute minimum requirements for a diploma. Even if that’s true, there should be a way to keep that from happening.

To me, any place more than 12 hours away is about the same in that it’s a lot easier to fly than drive. A direct flight from NYC to LAX is only 6 hours of flight time. I view being that far from mom and dad, as a positive, as it helps students to learn to be more independent and forces helicopter parents to hover less. However, financially, it doesn’t make sense for most students to go anywhere OOS unless they can get large scholarships or need-based aid.

Go see your guidance counselor and indicate you want your full 4 years of high school. Bring a parent if need be. Suited up parent for maximum effect :).
In your situation, you need time to bring that GPA up. It sounds like you were “normally” accelerated (a couple HS classes in middle school, likely English, foreign language, and algebra1) but it doesn’t mean you’re competitive for colleges where your financial need will be met. There’s no point in graduating early just to be stuck.
With these courses you meet basic HS graduation goals BUT NOT competitive college goals.
What classes did you take last year and what classes are you currently taking?

In addition, being a junior means your HS will make you take the PSAT this October (a giant scholarship competition) and it sounds like you haven’t looked into it let alone practiced (no one has a shot unless they seriously practice. Competitive students do so their sophomore year where they’re even encouraged to take the psat10.)

To give you an example, optimally as a “true” junior you’d be enrolled in AP English Language, APUSH, precalculus honors or calculus AB, plus foreign language 3 or 4 and honors physics, plus 1-2 classes of your choice. You’d have completed honors bio and honors Chem, two years of English honors, two years of social science, level 2 or 3 in a foreign language, algebra2H, PE, art/music, and a couple classes of your choice. This would position you well for colleges that “meet need” or offer scholarships.