<p>I just finished my junior year of highschool. I have started visiting college and its hit me pretty hard that life as I know it is about to come crashing down (causing a great sense of sadness), and a whole new (and i firmly believe it will be even better) life will begin. Getting there is the problem for me.</p>
<p>This has got me thinking to how I will hold up on college move in day. I feel like i will be an emotional wreck (my mom, like all mothers, making it worse by her incessant tears also =) ) the whole day and will get nothing done. I'm contemplating asking them to stay home for move in day (college is only 1.5 hrs away) because it would be emotionally easier on me, but I don't want to rob them of that experience. I may be dramatizing this, but this is how i see it in my head. For those who have gone through the process, is it really this hard?</p>
<p>How can I cope better between now and then and how can I make it through move in without the water works?</p>
<p>Is this normal for the student? </p>
<p>I know this is the parents forum but I felt like this applied here.</p>
<p>I haven’t experienced it yet but will this fall. I am trying to take a different spin on things (or at least trying to…my D is a great kid (ok, adult!), has a great head on her shoulders, has worked her butt off, and is ready to spread her wings and take the next step. And so are soooo many other kids out there. This is a chance to look forward and be excited for her (and the rest of you!). You aren’t falling off the end of the earth; you are just taking the next step to be the adult we have worked so hard to help our kids grow into. This is your chance to make the world a better place. So I am planning on dropping her off with a smile and hug. …and bawl my eyeballs out all the way home to get it out of my system! This day isn’t about us parents but about you students. …and it is our job to make sure it stays that way!</p>
<p>We’ve dropped off two daughters at college so I can tell you…the kids don’t seem to have many problems when it comes to saying goodbye to parents on drop off day. The problem is often that the parents won’t leave! :)</p>
<p>You’ll have so much to do, your room to set up, new people to meet, meetings to attend, classes to figure out. You might feel a little teary sometime later that week when you’re alone and thinking about home. And when you do, call Mom and tell her that you love her.</p>
<p>I’ll be a college junior this fall. I had a pretty hard time of it. However, my mom had to leave right after because she had a 10 hour drive ahead of her, so that was part of it. I think that something that helps is to remember some crying is expected from parents and students.
Also, remember that this is a stepping stone to truly living by yourself. It is hard at first, but once you start spending time with other students and start classes, you may be surprised at how absorbing college life is.
If your parents want to help you move in, then they should come. It also makes the move-in a lot go faster. Lastly, remember that you’ve still got about a year to come to terms with move-in day. Don’t try to rush your senior year anymore than it has to be. Senior year is a wonderfully bittersweet time; enjoy every moment!</p>
<p>It certainly wasn’t that way for our S, lol. For many kids, one of the hardest things is getting Mom and Dad to get out of dodge once the stuff is in the room. Still, I believe even the ones who don’t show it have a lot of unspoken stress - will I like my roommate? will I do okay on my own? will I miss home and friends too much?</p>
<p>I think maybe you can cope best by planning out the day/days for move-in. Some schools handle this for you to a certain extent. They have planned activities for the parents, some separate from the kids. Some have an “okay, this is the time to say good-bye and parents leave” scheduled moment. If your school doesn’t, why don’t you plan that out way ahead of time with your parents? Maybe a lunch/dinner out after you move your stuff in and pre-plan that as when they will leave campus. If you like add a “meet for brunch and take my roommate(s)” the next morning.</p>
<p>It’s okay to have some tears. It’s a “moment.” But you don’t want a whole day full of them.</p>
<p>@owl1993 I’m a high school junior with the same concern. As a child I was very home-bound and found it hard to be away from my parents. At the same time I’m extremely excited about my college experience ahead. A few months back I read an article on another site and it mentioned that getting involved in clubs and activities can quickly and easily cure your homesickness. Getting involved on campus takes your mind and focus off of being away from home, because you would be having a lot of fun. Remember, you can always call home and visit during vacations too! :)</p>
<p>^ yea, part of the problem is that ive had such a good child hood that its hard to leave. This will sound selfish, but i almost wish i hadnt so this transition would be easier (i feel this way now, but i really dont mean this) and i plan on coming home on weekends its only 1.5 hrs away. i dont know why i think this will be a big deal but my heart is saying that it will be. </p>
<p>Nah, you’ll be too excited running around meeting new people, too frustrated trying to figure out where everything is, and too nervous worrying about your future life to be depressed about leaving your parents :). The sadness comes in after all the excitement dissipates, in my experience.</p>
<p>When we moved our D in, two years ago, it was harder on us parents - especially her dad. They had lots of activities for the students, which were designed to get them integrated immediately, and also held some for the parents, with a clear time and place for parents to leave.</p>
<p>I know D was very nervous - she had never set foot on the campus before, and while she wanted to go far away, once she got there the reality set in. But she was so busy that day that it didn’t hit her until a few days later.</p>
<p>H was a mess - I had never seen him cry before. He cried for at least 3 states on the drive back. All the while he acknowledged that this was a wonderful opportunity for her; but they’re both night-owls and share a lot of interests in common and he was just realizing how much he was going to miss her.</p>
<p>I cried a lot during the summer before my son left (in the car by myself so as not to upset everybody!). I made darn sure that I did not make move-in day about me by crying when we moved him in. I got up that morning, turned on my cheerful side and we had a very pleasant move-in. There were planned activities starting at a certain time so we said goodbye very quickly and smiled and sent him off. </p>
<p>There is so much to do at move-in - get your side of the room set up, class/floor/orientation group activities, etc. I think you will be very distracted, in a good way, and won’t dwell on being apart from your family, unless you let yourself. Maybe you should have a conversation with your mom beforehand, mentioning that you are concerned about how you will feel and that you want/hope she’ll be able to be strong for you that day. (I did cry all the way home after the drop off, but I think that’s normal.) As I told S, his life will be new and exciting every day, while ours will be exactly the same with a gaping hole where he used to be.</p>
<p>It’s all normal: to be a bit sad, afraid, etc.</p>
<p>My move in day was many years ago now but I remember it clearly. My parents dropped me off and unloaded my stuff, and my roommate had not yet arrived. Once they left I was alone in my room for a bit and felt lonely for the first time. I realized then that I was headed in a new direction and on my own for the very first time.</p>
<p>Then my roommate showed up, and everyone got together to hand out. I forgot my loneliness in an instant!</p>
<p>I think you’re trying to project your reaction based on just finishing up your junior year in high school. You will find that, although senior year can be very emotional, by the time it is over, graduation, prom, senior activities, etc., most high school kids are really ready for it to be over with and move onto the next phase in their lives. </p>
<p>Right now you are very, very attached to a comfort zone that is a known entity to you. After the stress of senior year (not just an academic stress, but the stress of trying to figure out what your future will hold), you will be soooo ready to be done. I know it’s hard to imagine, but it will happen. You will mature in this process, and your newfound maturity will help you make that transition, which will begin long before move-in day!</p>
<p>Those with another year left of HS- don’t worry about it. You will go through many changes this coming year. Next summer you will know where you will be going to college and it will not be the total unknown it is for you now. By the time you finish HS you will likely be wanting to move on- freedom…</p>
<p>Parents are more sad than the students- we lose a child, nothing new to replace the person’s presence. The student has a whole new world to explore to mitigate lonliess.</p>
<p>My mom is my best friend, so I pretty much sobbed reading this whole thread, haha. I hope some of the people who posted here are right and that move-in day will be so busy I won’t even have time to think!</p>
<p>Yes, it will be busy, but that’s not the reason it won’t be as bad as you’re projecting. I know it’s hard to believe, but if you’ve done your college application with all due diligence, and have identified colleges that you can see yourself as being happy at, you will be ready to move on. Yes, there may be tears (more likely from your parents), but it will be over so fast that you won’t know what you were so worried about more than a year earlier.</p>
<p>I found move-in day itself to be much more difficult for my parents, especially my mom, whereas I was too busy meeting new people and settling in. A few days later, though, I woke up one morning and it just hit me, and I spent the morning crying and reading some of my favorite books, and moved on.</p>
<p>The first week or two is hard for everyone, but it’s not unbearable, and there are hundreds or thousands of people on campus (if you have a week-long orientation, basically the only ones on campus) feeling the same way. And you will probably have RAs/whatever your college’s equivalent is to talk to when you’re feeling lonely. And then you’ll be distracted again by classes and signing up for far too many activities…</p>
<p>It was fun for D1 because she only goes to school 1 hour away. I think it will be hard for D2. I don’t know where she will end up. Probably somewhere in the opposite coast.</p>