<p>owl1993: Don’t worry about it. You have about 14 months ahead of you before you move out of home and move in to college. Focus on making the most of that time- be nice to your parents, spend more time with them if you can. There may be some sadness when you say goodbye, but it will not be as bad as you think, and it will be over before you know it.</p>
<p>Do not start feeling bad before you need to.</p>
<p>My son had spent quite a bit of internet time with his roommate-to-be. Son was happy to finally meet his roommate in person and move on. He had very little use for his parents after we bought dinner for them :D.</p>
<p>My D went off to school MANY hours from home, and she knew absolutely no one. She was excited to go, and we had a great time getting her room all set up. When it was time to go, she broke down. I wanted to cry, but I had to be strong for her … I had to let her know that I believed in her & that I knew she could handle the challenges ahead. After H & I left, we cried in the car.</p>
<p>The first few months were hard for my D, but hard for me, too. I was the one she unloaded on, and it sapped me emotionally. It was very draining, but she eventually settled in … and I eventually dyed my gray hair.</p>
<p>This too shall pass. D is now a college graduate, living on her own in a far-away city. I miss her like crazy, but I am so very proud of the fine young woman she has become.</p>
<p>Move in day is no big deal. It’s fun. By the third week of classes, everything is routine.</p>
<p>While most students get through it fine (with a few bumps along the way), I don’t think we can promise you that you’ll breeze through it. It can be rough for some, especially if you’re very attached to your parents, or young for your grade, or just not quite ready yet. My D, while academically prepared for college, just wasn’t quite there emotionally, and she had a tough freshman year. Looking back, I wish she had deferred enrollment or taken a gap year. But going back for sophomore year, she couldn’t wait to get out of here! That extra year made all the difference.</p>
<p>We don’t know you, and while we can tell you that <em>most</em> students make the adjustment reasonably quickly and easily, really this is a decision that you and your parents will have to make – not now, but when the time comes. You don’t know how you’re going to feel a year from now. You may surprise yourself.</p>
<p>I would think that going away to college would be easier now than it was a generation ago, because it is so much easier to keep in touch with family via new technology like email, Skype, instant messaging, unlimited cellphone minutes, etc. When I went away to college we had to hand write letters home, or else call collect from a pay phone. </p>
<p>Your family will always love you, but going away to college will give you the opportunity to make the best friends of your life. Plus, when you go home for the holidays, you will be treated like an honored guest. :)</p>
<p>Until you drop the first F-bomb at dinner or tell them you want to go out with your old friends every night until 2am because you are now used to that freedom…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I shudder to think how often I might have gotten one of those hand-written letters if that’s what I’d had to rely on with my daughters for communication.</p>
<p>barrons–good to know I’m not the only one who has problems transitioning back to home language.</p>
<p>I second another poster - stay away from Toy Story 3!!!</p>
<p>I think sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual day - at least it was for me when we moved my son into his dorm. Just remember it’s a step in the process of growing up!</p>
<p>It was very hard on me emotionally but not for the reasons you would expect. I was up all night packing last minute things, and for some reason I felt the insane need to bring baked goods to impress my roommate and was up at 5am frosting cookies. I seem to remember having some sort of nervous breakdown at 6 because i spilled a bunch of the cookies on myself and then had to do YET ANOTHER load of laundry before I could sleep because I got frosting all over my favorite pjs. I ended up not sleeping at all and everyone was cranky that day, and my dad fought tooth and nail with me over how I should arrange my furniture and didn’t want to let me have it the way I wanted it, and it was hot and muggy and everything was heavy. I was too drained to be upset about moving. Move in day is /exhausting/.</p>
<p>I didn’t cry until the tuition bill came.</p>
<p>Seriously, I don’t think my S had much trouble, but he did call us more than I expected.</p>
<p>Emaheevul, I’m sorry, and I know it was not funny at the time, but I got a chuckle out of your story of staying up all night and baking cookies to impress the roomie. I hope you now can laugh about it, because it’s a great story. :)</p>
<p>There was no big emotional upheaval with either of our sons. Maybe it was because both stayed instate (3 and 4 hours fr. home), were rooming with friends from high school and had other friends from home at the school too. They did not seem the least bit sad when we pulled away. Both were ready for us to leave so they could meet up w/ friends.<br>
I admit to feeling a little nostalgic and a little empty inside (esp. when we dropped off the last one). One thing that we did that really helped DH and I was that we had planned a trip to a nearby beach for a few days right after the drop-off so it gave us something to think about other than being empty nesters.</p>
<p>I chose to do move in on my own, and I think that made it better for me, emotionally. I said my goodbyes at the airport. I had seen my parents get flustered and upset when they moved in my two older brothers and sister, and I thought that would just make me upset. I did have a tiny pang when I saw every other freshman with a mom and a dad there, but I knew that my dad would have been yelling and fuming which is not what I wanted. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>One of my kids is very independent, but has trouble with transitions of all kinds.</p>
<p>We also have a tiny car.</p>
<p>He moved half his stuff in to his college, which is 1 1/2 hours away from home, and I left him there for the first night.</p>
<p>Then, I went back the next day with the rest of his stuff.</p>
<p>This cushioned the whole experience for him (no good-bye the first day, and by the second day, he had slept there, eaten in the dining hall, and met a lot of other students) and, of course, for me.</p>
<p>I would never, ever cry in front of any of my kids when leaving them at college or anywhere else. I did, however, cry all the way home that second day.</p>
<p>I only cried like this for the first one. When kids #2 and #3 went, it seemed like the natural way of things.</p>
<p>That son now lives 3,000 miles away and I talk with him once a week. He is happy, and although I miss him, I am happy too, when he is!</p>
<p>My D was thrilled to arrive, excited to meet everyone, and impressed by the orientation volunteers. I was a fading blip on her horizon. She never looked back. </p>
<p>I tried to stay out of the way in the ensuing weeks. </p>
<p>The reality that she was gone for good didn’t hit until much later. The experience was like dropping her off at summer camp.</p>
<p>I was sad but thankful and grateful for where she got to go to school. She has remained pretty much ecstatic from day 1.</p>
<p>I’m a sophomore in college and, unfortunately, I moved in by myself. Move-in day is so hectic that you really are just getting things done. Also, you’re only a junior and haven’t gone through all of the senior-related activities that are all rites of passage, you’ll mature. I would be scared as a junior (in fact, I remember having similar thoughts to you). But after senior year, I was definitely ready to move on. 
Don’t worry!</p>
<p>owl – it is a major change and it is fine to be apprehensive. if anything, i think the fact that you are thinking about these things will actually make things easier for you. so many hs kids get excited about the prospect of going off to college and are then hit with the enormity of the change only when they get to campus. you have over a year to emotionally prepare for what you recognize is a big change in your life.</p>
<p>no one can predict how you will react the actual day of move in. just remember everyone there that first day is in the same boat even if you are all showing different reactions to it – even the ones who seem like they are having no transition problems may well be having them, just in the private. keep busy, meet people, go to orientation events and try not to dwell on goodbyes. (just talk to your folks ahead of time and explain what you may need to do to make the transition easier for you so they don’t think you don’t care 
)</p>
<p>Owl - a couple of things to keep in mind:</p>
<p>1) Move in day seems very fuzzy and vague to you at this point because you don’t know WHERE you’ll be moving in. By the time it arrives it will be at a college you have chosen (presumably because there are many things about it that appeal to you, even if it is not perfect). You probably will have visited the college several times, toured, perhaps even been to an early-summer orientation program. You will have “met” some other incoming freshmen on Facebook, and you will know who your roommate is - even if you haven’t yet met face-to-face. </p>
<p>I think a large part of your apprehension right now could be a fear of the unknown - you are leaving something you’ve known and loved and heading off to…??? By this time next year many of those question marks will be filled in.</p>
<p>2) Moving day is often emotionally stressful, but remember it is that way for everyone. Your mom won’t be the only mom crying. The colleges know this and are prepared for it. It will be a busy day, physically engaging with hauling stuff to the room, arranging furniture, getting everything to fit… and toward the end of the day colleges usually have a schedule of programs for students and for parents. You’ll be busy and meeting new people. Many colleges have an actual scheduled time for parents and kids to say goodbye and for the parents to leave. </p>
<p>3) Don’t try to move in by yourself. Let your parents come, help you. You’d be surprised how much stuff even the most low-maintenence kid will have to move in, and how much assembly is required, and how hard it is to loft some of those dorm beds! It will make it easier for her to see where you are, meet your roommate, and at the end of the day to know that you are safe. For some reason it helps me to make my kids’ dorm room beds on move-in day. And all the parents and kids are in the same boat, so meeting others who are going thru the same transition is helpful.</p>
<p>4) It’s a year away. Don’t obsess! Enjoy senior year. Its way too easy to let college stuff overshadow your last year of high school. </p>
<p>Good luck!
(parent of kids in college class of '11 and '14)</p>