<p>DD is trying to decide between two very different colleges, one being UA. When we visited she stayed overnight with a sorority member and fell in love with the whole idea. Neither my husband nor I have any experience with Greek life, and didn’t warn her in advance that the rush/big process may be grueling and distressing (which I have since learned), and that the costs may be so high that she would have to sacrifice other things (ex. study abroad, trips home). </p>
<p>With no sorority contacts (other than the girl she stayed with who was a friend of a friend) or folk that we know of to get recommendation letters from, can any one tell me how much work it is to get in? what the probability of getting a bid is? </p>
<p>She has decided that she would be so disappointed to NOT get into the couple of sororities she now has her eyes on that she would rather choose the other college than attend UA and not be part of that. </p>
<p>She is an excellent student (admitted to UA Honors and with substantial scholarship), very attractive, friendly, good manners… seemingly a good candidate, but has no connections whatsoever, and we are not wealthy, probably at the upper limits of regular middle class. My impression was that sororities at UA are definitely for the more affluent. My fear is that she would be crushed emotionally if she did not get into one of these few sororities, and that even if she did get in, she would be constantly be feeling like “the poor girl”. </p>
<p>Can anyone shed light on this for us?</p>
<p>Greek life can be expensive at many schools, not just UA. Depending on ones housing choices otherwise, living in a Sorority house can cost less money than living on campus.</p>
<p>Is your daughter only interested in two sororities at UA? Only considering a couple of many sororities on a campus with a competitive bidding process is a very bad idea. All the sororities are good and due to their size, there is not one “type” of sister at each house. </p>
<p>There are several posters on here who can help your daughter find people who can write rec letters and figure out what she needs to do before rush. Chances are, your nearest major city has a Panhellenic alumni group which assists PNMs (potential new members) in preparing for rush at a variety of colleges and universities.</p>
<p>Also note that UA Panhellenic has a no contact rule for current members and PNMs during much of the summer leading up to rush. Exceptions are made for very specific circumstances (siblings, coworkers, close relatives).</p>
<p>Also keep in mind that plenty of students at UA do not go Greek and have wonderful experiences at UA. FWIW, a very attractive girl would still be able to attend a lot of fraternity events, especially if she’s dating a guy who’s in that fraternity.</p>
<p>Costs at UA are high because the girls eat all their meals at the sorority house. Once your daughter pledges, she can convert her meal plan to the “Greek 50”, I believe it’s called. From Monday breakfast through Friday lunch, meals are all at the house. Also, houses have expenses that sororities with only dorm suites (at other schools) do not, such as wages for housemother, cleaning, kitchen, replacement costs on the house…all the usual costs of owning a building. </p>
<p>Yes,the process of joining a sorority is grueling and distressing! The process of recruitment is mutual selection, but it’s really more the sororities selecting. There are 16 sororities that participate in recruitment. Despite what we call “tent talk” - gossip - every one of them have pretty girls and not-so-pretty girls, excellent students and party-heartiers, leaders and followers, athletic girls and girls who can’t be bothered to hunt for the remote control. They each also have girls from very wealthy families, and girls from not at all wealthy families. There is no “best” sorority. There’s the one that fits you the best.</p>
<p>Deciding you will only accept a bid from sorority A, D, F, J, K, or T is a recipe for disaster. Sounds like she needs to do a good bit more research…and may you, too. Some excellent sources: www dot thesororitylife dot com (it also has a section for parents). sororitygirl101 dot com is written by a CC member who is a sorority member and is the mother of a sorority member at Alabama. She has a lot of info specific to the U of Alabama. www dot greekchat dot com has lots of excellent info, but you need to read read read read before posting any questions.</p>
<p>Also remember that while one-third of students are Greek at Alabama, two-thirds are NOT, and they have plenty of fun!</p>
<p>Feel free to post any other questions, or even PM me with any.</p>