How Has Your Child's College Choice Worked Out?

Parents Forum
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<p>Older son was at Carnegie Mellon. Not his first choice. Not the most social kid. Found his tribe. Worked hard - no straight A’s for him anymore! Is now in his dream job - which he got partly be being referred by classmates for an internship that led to a job offer. I don’t think he could have done better.</p>

<p>Younger son at Tufts. It’s hard to say. He’s made the most of his opportunities, but there are things he’d do differently knowing more now about how the various departments work. He also thinks there aren’t enough video/board game playing kids. He says there are enough nerds, just not the right kinds of nerds!</p>

22

<p>My D is in her 3rd year, and I’m still not sure things are working out :-)</p>

<p>Her first school was a pretty good match for atmosphere, but their music program was weak. When she entered, she had a number of potential interest areas and the school had majors in all of them, but it soon became obvious that she was a whale in a puddle :-)</p>

<p>She has since transferred. She is definitely challenged without being overwhelmed by the talent level at her current (music conservatory) school, but she is struggling to find kindred souls. She’s a little older than most, and a great deal more mature than most. Academically, she’s well above the average student, and the professors in her few academic courses seem to adore her. I’m convinced that kindred souls exist, but it may take a bit for her to find them. She does love the program and the professors. And she had some medical issues last year which took a lot of time and energy away from school. She struggled to find her social niche in high school too, so I guess it makes sense that this is a challenge. She can get along well with almost anyone, and I have to believe that the performing arts kids have their population of similar geeky/intelligent/creative (though sometimes shy) types.</p>

23

<p>DS is technically starting junior year although he took a medical leave last semester and may take a reduced load which will necessitate one extra semester. Choice was all his; he was lucky to have quite a few options, and he picked the school that felt the most comfortable to him. I think that part - the comfort - has worked well. What has been more difficult are the many complex core requirements and the lack of depth in his chosen field - now different from when he first entered. He also finds the grade deflation demoralizing. So he is considering a transfer for midyear this year. He has never been one to take an easy road, so these various twists and turns don’t surprise us although we, of course, worry.</p>

24

<p>A tale of two kiddos–</p>

<p>S ignored the advice of parents and guidance counselor that a small LAC was his destiny and chose an urban university. He hated it from day one, got depressed, didn’t perform well, and transferred to a small LAC that was a tier down from where he could have gone right out of high school because of the impact of his freshman year college grades.</p>

<p>D chose a university because she got into a selective arts program there. By the end of freshman year she had decided the program wasn’t for her (which we parents had thought all along) and switched majors to one that was definitely not one of this university’s strengths. But she liked it there, so stayed.</p>

<p>Moral? You never know, so fasten your seat belt and enjoy the sometimes bumpy ride.</p>

25

<p>Regarding that last necessary class that “mysteriously” seems to pop up. Some of the state schools (we are in Texas) that we visited had a four year graduation guarantee and I saw this at quite a few of the (many) schools we looked at.</p>

<p>I understand that some of them employ a bit of sneaky fine print shenanigans, unfortunately.</p>

<p>As far as our choice (ultimately hers) working out - she’s a rising junior this year and we think it has, though as for me anyway, I fell in love with quite a few of the schools we looked at and always wonder how it would have been at any of them, as I found many schools to have unique features and their own special attributes. As she was seeking a Musical Theater degree, we had more than average number of schools to look at and we actually visited a dozen, and had some on the list to visit that we never did because by February of her senior year she was burned out (and battling Mono) and just didn’t really care what else was out there anymore. So tired and sick. So the first ironic upshot of what would become a bizarre string of ironies happened, which was that she ended up picking the VERY FIRST school we ever visited, back in the summer before her junior year, before she decided for certain not only on MT but even just theater.</p>

<p>And she didn’t even audition there, (which I wish we had made her now on account of the money) because admissions didn’t require an audition, they were just for scholarships. But the audition scholarships are supposedly quite small and this school had given us the most merit aid as well as a generous need based offer. It’s in a town she adores, we have family there, it’s a small and fairly selective LAC which is the perfect fit for her, and the theatre program is renown for good quality so she picked it. When we started the search it did not have an MT program but they announced they were adding it RIGHT as she was having to decide so perfect! We felt had they had it all along we might never have even looked anywhere else!</p>

<p>So she goes, after months and thousands of dollars spent on auditions, to a school where she never even auditioned.</p>

<p>Then, practically as she was unpacking her stuff into her freshman dorm, we find out the head of the newly formed MT program had suddenly left, and while they were still letting those who had signed up as MT majors keep that as a concentration, they were being pretty vague about just who was going to spearhead that new program. Eventually they abandoned that and instead changed the program to offer a new BFA in acting, which was a capped program by audition. And those things were not exactly what we had wanted.</p>

<p>But by then, the middle of her first semester, they found out how incredibly talented she is in costuming (won first place in the entire state of Texas at UIL two years in a row…) and her costume professor said “you belong to US” and she went to USITT that spring and decided she would be a costumer after all. </p>

<p>The irony of THAT is that while we had asked about the design and costume departments at other colleges, because she always had in mind that she could possibly change or double major if possible, we had never asked at THIS school anything about the design program, because we never auditioned and so missed the big theatre weekend.</p>

<p>So we had no idea if it was any good or not. But as it turns out, the design department is amazing, and has top notch professors, but very few majors in it, and the only costume major who was a senior during her freshman year, was so good and the department is so small, that he got to ENTIRELY design a show his senior year, which is very rare for undergrads to get to do that. Hugely exciting opportunity. And now they are looking for her to be on track to do the same thing before she graduates. </p>

<p>So yes, although we planned and planned and researched and visited and agonized and spread sheeted in order to pick the right school, she ended up doing something completely different, but it turned out to be an excellent school for her anyway, far better in fact than I could have imagined. Her professors adore her and are fully invested in her success, are the best mentors you could possibly ask for, and are moving heaven and earth to create opportunities for her. That’s one of the beauties of a small program at a small liberal arts college like that, they can tailor the program quite easily for her needs, which has been a relief to me because I would never have picked this one out for that as it did not have an established big program with a website listing all the specifics of the design department and facilities. Their website barely mentions the design department. And performance gets all the glory and fame. But I couldn’t ask for anything more. They just last year lured a new design professor from out of her successful professional career for the department, who went to Yale and Carnegie Mellon and has ties with SUNY Purchase (the top three picks for her grad school) and I like to think that they brought her in JUST for my daughter’s sake. Which is probably not entirely true. But I like to think it. hee hee.</p>

<p>Two more years to go and maybe you can never know for sure if someplace else would have been better or not. How can you know a path you didn’t take? But the path she did take seems to be working out well despite all our planning!!! </p>

<p>And we are managing the cost, it’s been a sacrifice but after you look at the bottom line and not sticker price, not really THAT much more than a median state school for us.</p>

26

<p>Our daughter chose well in terms of fit but poorly in terms of economics but I put the latter on us, the parents. Its very difficult to say no when your beloved daughter gets in to the school of her (and your own) dreams with a small merit scholarship to justify sending her. </p>

<p>In the end we should have stuck to our guns and made her attend a cheaper alternative since she’s now facing the more severe disappointment of transferring out of the school she loves to avoid the looming massive debt she was heading towards.</p>

<p>Very difficult time for the whole family and I can’t stress strongly enough the need to resist what looks like a perfect fit without taking a close look at the debt your child (or you yourself) will be facing when they graduate.</p>

27

<p>True true true and what a heartbreaking thing to have to do…but ultimately wisest. The school we truly truly loved the most, did not give enough aid that we could have avoided loans so we didn’t go with it…it’s hard to do.</p>

28

<p>Chose state school, Honors, completely free (merit scholarship, state and federal financial aid, tuition remission) over a few highly ranked schools that looked much better on paper. Extremely glad to have made the right choice.</p>

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<p>D went into the process without a dream school and loving every school she toured. At the end of the day, she chose her school based on fit and affordibility rather than perceived prestige. She is starting her sophomore year and couldn’t be happier with her choice. She is doing well academically, is a varsity athlete (D3 with a coach always places academics ahead of athletics), has a great group of friends, and has become involved in several campus activities.</p>

<p>ETA: just re-read the OP, so will add that D is attending a private school where she was fortunate enough to get good merit which made it more affordable than our state flagship.</p>

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<p>@GraniteStateMom - if your name indicates your state, we found the same state flagship the least affordable of all the schools our boys visited. The two small private LACs that both boys are attending were much more affordable vs. the state U. </p>

<p>My older son is chomping at the bit for labor day, when he moves in!</p>

31

<p>Snap, our story is similar, but different. The school D1 chose, was the LAST we visited, in late October or early November, an afterthought, since the GC was pushing it. It’s the one I personally didn’t think much of, initially, based on the crappy website. (I kept thinking, don’t they realize they are projecting nothing, with this site?) We knew right away- the sometimes heard, “as we set foot on campus.” </p>

<p>Our irony: we had looked closely at many LACs because D1’s for-certain major interest was/is a subfield not often offered in depth and breadth. By the time we got to that last college, I never even checked the dept. Lo and Behold, fabulous dept, multi-disciplinary, lots of great profs and opportunities. Happy four years.</p>

32

<p>DD1’s choice has worked out even better than expected. She’s just flourishing there. Has made great friends, had a flabulous internship this summer doing exactly what she wants to do in real life, loves the campus, the football team and the food. There literally isn’t anything she doesn’t like except perhaps a professor or two. If someone had told me on the day she was born that she would attend this school and study engineering, I would have called them them crazy. Yet there she is and we couldn’t be happier for her.</p>

<p>Fingers crossed that DD2 has equal success in finding her place in the sun.</p>

33

<p>BTMell - Yup, you guessed correctly. And it’s a really a shame. UNH has some excellent programs but it is just too expensive. I guess both of our families are fortunate that our kids got merit elsewhere.</p>

34

<p>And the governor bemoans all the STEM kids going elsewhere. Well, when my child’s financial aid “package” was all loans and a private, expensive LAC is half the price of our flagship? Youbetcha! yes - we’re really lucky. Both my boys have good “fit” schools. My youngest just started but my older son LOVES his college. I hope my younger son finds what my older son has. So far, so good!</p>

35

<p>I agree with the earlier post suggesting two safeties. After applying to a handful of reaches, a few what were perceived to be matches, and two safeties, S ended up choosing between one match and the two safeties. Don’t get me started about how skewed things turned out to be this year with a huge uptick in overseas applicants who came with full-sticker funding (China).
Anyway, S ended up choosing one of the safeties instead of the match he got into. Money was a huge part but really only part of it - they wanted him. BADLY. We were getting stuff from this school every week and ya know what? They were right. After visits confirmed it, it truly was the best fit for him. They have exactly what he wants and he is exactly what they wanted and were willing to pay for. Best of all, by all measures he’s going to get a terrific, seriously, a terrific undergrad education, and one that we can afford - no loans ended up being needed, even including their study abroad program(!), whereas his match offered only loans.</p>

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<p>The social/intellectual fit is the most important thing. Everything else follows. All the “preferences” like urban/rural, size, climate, attractiveness of the campus, etc. pale in comparison. My kids made compromises, but ultimately once they found schools that seemed to offer the best opportunity for finding like-minded peers and the type of intellectual challenge they needed, the other aspects fell into place in selecting the schools. </p>

<p>My older child is so fortunate to have found an amazing college that is perfect for him in so many ways. Yet, it is actually NOT the best school for his major. This really doesn’t matter, though, because he can always pursue that more in grad school if he wants to. He would have been miserable in a school that offered more in terms of his major, but was not intellectually challenging or had peers that were too different.</p>

<p>My younger son just started, so we’ll see… But I hope he made the right decision.</p>

37

<p>I got the answer to this question yesterday. We attended the season football opener at S1’s mid-sized regional public university. He is a senior sports journalism major and sports editor of the school newspaper. He stopped by our tailgate to grab a beer and visit before he took his place in the press box and brought us the football edition he put together. He spoke about all the work he’d been doing for the sports department in the preseason, “his” staff of reporters and how good they were. We turned on the radio, and there he was again on pre-recorded game day broadcasts. And he was just lit up with excitement - having the time of his life. He said thatif he’s been told at 11 or 12 he’d be covering sports and speaking the coaches and players of this university, he wouldn’t have believed it. His grades are good and he’s on track to graduate cum laude in four years with a second major in history. He’s worked hard and gone after what he wanted and I’m proud of his determination. I only hope it translates into a good job after graduation.</p>

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<p>That is the big question, footballmom! My oldest D did not get into her 2 reaches, and went to a match school which turned out perfect for her. Her boyfriend went to one of the reaches, and she had a good look at his classes and workload and decided she was very happy she did not go there. One year out of college, she has a great job and is doing well.</p>

<p>Son is a junior at his school and is doing very well, better grades than HS. He found lots of kids with similar interests and has grown a lot in maturity, shocked us by doing a study abroad this summer. He is a TA for a class, which is just helping out during class time as students work on their computers. I hope his job search is successful when he graduates, which could be a semester early.</p>

<p>Youngest just started, school seems perfect for her, but time will tell…</p>

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<p>My daughter said last week when we dropped her off for the start of her sophomore year -“I can not imagine being at any other college!” As a parent, that is what you want to hear!</p>

40

<p>Our S ended up at private U with great merit and great engineering. He started a rockclimbing club (who knew?) and graduated in 4 years with BS EE. He got a great job and has been there two years. D started at CC and transferred to join bro after 3 semesters. She majored in cinema (the cinema school is perhaps top nationally). We are hoping she will do some internships and get a job–seems to have greatly enjoyed college. </p>

<p>We have no regrets.</p>