<p>Hi! I have a question for all the parents out there. Where is the line between helping your child and doing the work for them?</p>
<p>Also, I'm just overall curious how much the parents are/should/need to be involved in the application/audition process. It seems near impossible for students to do it on their own when they are in school and extra curricular activities all day.</p>
<p>If you do a thread search under ‘parents’ you will come across LOTS of advice pertaining to this topic. In short - you will need to start thinking of yourself as your student’s executive secretary!</p>
<p>I consider myself my D’s administrative assistant. She is in charge if all things artistic and all her Essays. And checking her email so we do the follow up requested by schools. She slogged through the first app. Then I did the data entry on the rest based on her original app. I’m also in charge of scheduling, and all travel arrangements. Her focus is very much on the artistic side of things. My focus is on all the paperwork, etc.</p>
<p>I would never do the work for my child. I am helping her with her applications, but all I am doing is the repetitious stuff with the applications. She did the initial application and then I took over where I could. She still has to go in and answer specific questions only she knows the answer to, or write the essays. I will also make the travel arrangements for auditions, but keep her in the loop the whole time.</p>
<p>When it comes to auditions, she is doing all that on her own or with her coaches. No input from me other than to pay the bill.</p>
<p>Your right, these kids have such busy schedules, but I think they thrive on it. At least mine does.</p>
<p>I am always amazed when I hear some of the kids have no parental help. My D would have never slept if I didn’t do the paperwork stuff. My D researched the programs, did all the artistic stuff, wrote the essays, short answer and activities down. I did the typing, scheduling and travel/audition arrangements. The only way I could see her being able to do the paperwork was if she cut out some activities in the fall of senior year. She would leave at 7 am and on her early days be back home at 9pm. Homework and the rest would start so I felt I could at least do the tedious typing.</p>
<p>I haven’t really done much for my daughter but pay the fees and book the travel. She did the research, the applications, the essays (I proofread for punctuation), started file folders for each school will all pertinent information in it, is buying her own audition gear, etc. She even contacted an audition coach and got that ball rolling in July. I step in to make phone calls if she gets odd emails from the schools about needing paperwork that was already sent or just anything weird. And I actually scheduled one audition since I was online and available while she was at school. I’m extremely impressed with her ownership of the process. It shows me how much she really wants this.</p>
<p>I know you don’t want to be a helicopter parent or Mama Rose, MTthewayforme. Applying to theater programs is such a different situation from most. I hope you take comfort in hearing how other families handle it. Here’s what we did, which is pretty similar to others:</p>
<p>During senior year, my son became much more responsible for himself and his career in a variety of ways. But the college application and audition scheduling process were clearly beyond what one human being could accomplish. </p>
<p>We decided that 100% of the artistic side was his job, which included finding monologues, memorizing and preparing them, and doing the same for his songs. He had a voice teacher to help with the songs, and did a couple of sessions with an acting teacher who had been his director in a couple of shows, for the monologues. He made his audition backing tracks and audition DVDs 100% on his own. “Artistic” also included essays and the final decision about which schools to apply to. As LoveMyMTGirl notes above, “No input from me other than to pay the bill.” </p>
<p>Believe me, he had much more on his plate with that, than most students have to do when applying to four or five liberal arts colleges.</p>
<p>On the management side, like kategrizz in the posting above, I did the data entry, scheduling, travel arrangements, transcript follow-up with his high school, and made the spreadsheet for deadlines and requirements. I also sat with him to craft the information that went to the guidance counselor, who didn’t know him except as that tall kid with mediocre grades and fabulous test scores. I’m sure the GC cribbed extensively from that, when filling out his forms.</p>
<p>I did very little in terms of reminding/nagging my son about the things he had to do on the artistic side. I did make a sorted list of audition requirements for each school. By now all of you probably know how arcane that can be. One minute comedic, two minute dramatic, contemporary vs. classical, contrasting, blah blah blah. He took that list to his monologue selection session and came home with it heavily annotated.</p>
<p>He was in charge of talking to actors and singers he knows, about colleges and careers. I was in charge of reading College Confidential and passing along tips, audition horror stories, and so on. I’d send him links to threads I thought he should read, and he did a lot of reading here also. (“Mom, were you the one who asked the question about copyright and photocopied music?”)</p>
<p>In terms of deciding where to apply, we talked a lot. I think I made a long list of schools I thought he should consider, and he visited the websites. (We found that the websites are singularly unhelpful. They’re all the same. But the faculty bios are worth looking at, and curriculum info, if you can find it.) Then we did pros and cons, both from his perspective and mine. </p>
<p>I would like to think that he learned some things about organization from doing these tasks together. In fact, I know he did. He ended up making notebooks with all his audition materials, and kept them updated and organized the way his schoolwork never has been.</p>
<p>He was accepted to one school in December, and at that point we talked about the rest of the applications, and he decided to withdraw from a couple of schools to lower his audition burden, because he preferred the school he had already gotten into. </p>
<p>Our whole family went up to Unifieds, and stayed at a hotel very near the audition locations. He opted to do all the auditioning on his own, which let me off Sherpa duty, so the rest of us did touristy things while he warmed up, got to the audition, did it, and chilled out afterwards. We all saw a couple of shows, and we made him come up the Empire State Building with us late at night, which he later said he was glad to have done.</p>
<p>Then came all the waiting. I developed a certain amount of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, checking and rechecking the decision websites, trying to read the tea leaves, as it were. Rumors would circulate on CC and Facebook. “They’re making the calls!” etc. etc. Important point: I did not share my OCD with my son. He didn’t need to know that minutia about when decisions were coming out. It was strictly my own pathology, and looking back I have to shake my head. More experienced people were saying, “It’ll all work out.” And it did.</p>
<p>Over the course of the six-month process, two schools rose to the top as his overwhelming favorites, his “dream” schools. He was admitted to one of them, and he is there now, working harder than he ever has in his life. </p>
<p>It was all incredibly time-consuming, but worth it.</p>
<p>Our Story is also similar to those above. Since we have known for years that D was probably going to go the MT route, we had designated our roles before starting the process. I handle payment, scheduling, data entry on Apps, travel arrangements and some scheduling with coaches if she is not available. She handles the artistic side, filming prescreens, arranging for accompanists (if needed), essays, LORs etc.</p>
<p>We agreed that she would not audition for any shows in the fall, but she is still swamped with the normal Senior Year Stuff, Thespian Competition, and a part time job working for a children’s theatre program. There is no way she could do this completely on her own.
When it comes to scheduling on campus auditions and unifieds I make the decision of the timing, since we need to find care for her disabled brother if we are both leaving town.</p>
<p>One thing that we did to make my “assistant” role easier, is set up a separate email account for college purposes. I check it during the day while she is at school, and if there is something that needs to be taken care of, I can do it right away. Once she eventually settles on a school, she can change the password, and I will be out of the picture.</p>
<p>I can’t add much more than Prodesse I agree and follow her approach almost exactly. I am stunned at the amount of work and organization this all takes. My S has looked at me with extreme gratitude and said “thank you mom I could not do this without you”. I’ve found programs on this site he didn’t originally consider. Some have made his list, others haven’t but that decision is up to him. </p>
<p>The issues with the Common App this year have made me already obsessed with checking and double checking on things. I can’t even imagine what I’ll be like when decision making time comes along</p>
<p>Very similar. There was no way my D would have had the time to deal with the minutia of some of the paperwork, etc, during a very busy senior year when she was president of show choir and taking several AP/college courses. And my wife is an organizational genius. So my D took charge of the school she wanted to apply to, the essays and other personal statement issues, and all of her audition materials/work with her coach etc. My wife took care of details like audition dates, hotel reservations, deadlines for scholarship materials, etc. And dad tried to keep everyone sane.</p>
<p>I didn’t do anything as far as applications/essays go other than organize what had to be in and when. That part is awful - and we only had a handful of schools to worry about - especially the coordination with the school. So, yes, writing out the school name and when it was all due helped my S a lot. Artistically, i would be no help since I am not a theatre person, so I helped with the only thing I could do for him - organize!</p>
<p>I’m doing the same as most of the previous posters. I want to second frazzled35 regarding setting up a separate e-mail account for the college/app. correspondence. Being able to keep track of things along with my son has definitely reduced the need for me to bother him for information (which could sound a lot like nagging!).</p>
<p>I also agree with frazzled35 and entertainersmom about the separate e-mail account. That was some of the best advice I have gotten here. Everything having to do with college applications and auditions goes through that account.</p>
<p>We did that with the college e-mail also, I think almost everyone does. In fact, most of the theater parents I know have sent e-mails supposedly from their kids. We all thought we were the only one to do such a thing, but we weren’t!</p>
<p>My son picked the password “God I hope I get in somewhere” for his college account, which I found both easy to remember and somewhat sad. Thank goodness, it all worked out.</p>
<p>LOL on that password prodesse!</p>
<p>Wow all you parents are great, I wish mine were like that! My parents are freaked out about how competitive this all is so they’ve gone into panic mode and just try not to think about it or bring up the artistic side so that is all on me. </p>
<p>I’ve completely filled out all of my applications myself and they just edited my essays a bit. After I finish the applications my mom gives me the information and I pay the fees and then schedule the auditions. My mom has told me many times now, “just tell me when the auditions are and I’ll be in charge of transportation.” So that’s kind of her only responsibility. </p>
<p>Ironically today she was telling me I need to get on asking my high school to send transcripts to a school with a November 1 deadline, but I already submitted the requests as week and a half ago. She is good though with helping me with my evil GC. I have a new one this year who lost my Algebra 1 finishing exam scores from 8th grade (claiming I never took it in the first place) and said I would have to retake it in January. Luckily my mom knows how to handle problems like that and got it all sorted out for me.</p>
<p>I know most parents on here help their kids with a lot, but I’m sure there are tons of high school readers like me who have clueless parents. It would be great though if all parents helped with stuff like this. Just wanna say don’t worry, it is possible to be a senior and do it all yourself. It’s a little tricky, but definitely doable.</p>
<p>FutureMillie6, it sounds as if you are doing a great job. </p>
<p>I see that you are in Northern Virginia. If you don’t already know about the Virginia Theater Association conference in Reston (October 24-27), I’d urge you to look into it. My son found it immensely helpful. I posted about it in this thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/theater-drama-majors/1558353-fall-audition-opportunities-conferences.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/theater-drama-majors/1558353-fall-audition-opportunities-conferences.html</a></p>
<p>The forms for the conference and for the high school auditions are set up with the presupposition that you’d be attending with a group from your school, but individuals can also attend. This would be something you’d need to involve a parent in, because they want you to have a chaperone.</p>
<p>One other NoVA tip for you, if you are still looking into monologues, you should visit the American Backstage Company in Alexandria, just inside the Beltway by the Van Dorn Metro. They have a room full of play scripts and books about theater, and shelves of monologue books and “how to audition” stuff, and the owner’s idea of a good time is helping students find monologues. The store is very busy with Halloween now, but in a couple of weeks it will settle down again.</p>
<p>FutureMillie6, you’re doing great! You sound just like my daughter doing it all except that I’m willing to help and she says she doesn’t need it, so I’m in charge of travel. I would agree with prodesse that you look into VTA. If it’s anything like a festival my daughter attended earlier this year, it will be great opportunity for you! There will probably be some schools there with great programs that don’t get discussed here often.</p>
<p>That’s funny you guys mentioned VTA cause I’m actually going next week with my school! I’m doing auditions with 2 other seniors from my HS, but I’m the only MT one. The boy doing it almost chose both but didn’t want to worry about cutting a song so he’s only doing Acting. @prodesse I really appreciated your posts about it since it’s gotten me pumped to attend!</p>
<p>I’ll also definitely have to check that store out. I actually went there once on the way home from a rehearsal, but I could only browse for about 30 minutes unfortunately before having to hit the road.</p>