<p>my mom is pretty involved in everything, from proofreading my applications to revising my essays. she pretty much is in this process as much as i am, especially since my dad isn't here to help either (he's in korea).
i'm already applied to 6 schools, mailing 6 today, and submitting 3 online, so my mom has been such a huge help.</p>
<p>I am the reminderer, as well. My daughter is a procrastinator, so I keep sticky notes around to remind her of deadlines looming over her head!</p>
<p>She researched the colleges & made choices about where to visit. We were able to visit a couple while on family vacations, but we did not plan the vacation for that reason. The only thing I did insist on was visiting DePauw while on a college-visit trip; an alum who knows my D well felt she would really like the school. As it turned out, she LOVED it, so that was a good call.</p>
<p>I plan overnights for the schools she is applying to, but she goes on her own. She does make the calls to the schools. She drove 7 hours alone for one visit & flew alone (with some flight issues enroute!) for 2. I will be taking her on a trip in Feb. to visit several schools, because it's just too much for her to do alone.</p>
<p>I will be paying for school, so I MAKE her fill out scholarship apps. I think that is good meddling.</p>
<p>When I was going to college, I had no help whatsoever from my parents --- not in terms of planning or in paying. I am happy to be able to help my kids with their planning (& paying), and I am really enjoying the process. I do NOT give my opinion of where my daughter should ultimately attend, though, because it is her life, not mine.</p>
<p>To clarify ... I am enjoying the planning part of the process. I don't anticipate enjoying the paying part!!!</p>
<p>kelsmom-I also had no help from my parents in the planning of college, but they did pay! My daughter was amazed that my parents had no idea where I had applied or where I was thinking of attending until I made the final decision. I explained to her that I was just a very independent person; it wasn't that my parents didn't care, more of I never would share that information with them. I attended a college close to where my then boyfriend was attending; I guess it was ok as we have been married 25+ years :-) My daughter wanted to know from her grandmother how she could have let me attend a school just because a boyfriend attend there, and my mother told her she didn't have a choice!! Again, it all turned out well as we are married and supplied my parents their grandchildren that they love!!</p>
<p>I'm also on my own, for the most part. I think if I asked my parents for help, they'd stare at me funny and ask me why. It would also feel weird to not be doing this by myself. My dad has proofread my essays, but that's about it. I also anticipate that I'll be needing him a LOT for FAFSA and fin aid.</p>
<p>Haha I wish I had all of you as parents! My parents are rather amusing about the whole situation...they handed me a credit card in mid-November and said "that better be all college stuff!"</p>
<p>My dad doesn't know what the SAT is, my mom was confused as to why I even had to TAKE it since I got a good grade on the PSAT (oh, mom...), my parents have a VAGUE idea where I'm applying but just say that as long as I get in somewhere I'm OK.</p>
<p>My friend's dad is absolutely insane. After a stressful week of constant AP and IB testing last May, his dad made him start writing his essays for Harvard that same week! He spent the entire month of June working on his application and his dad STILL wasn't happy with it when he submitted it on the deadline. His dad also, needless to say, yelled at him and grounded him when he wasn't accepted to Harvard early. I guess I'd rather have 0 involvement than that kind of involvement.</p>
<p>My friend's mom is an editor at a publishing company and also worked for a while in an admissions office a small LAC. She helps my friend with her essays perfectly: not too overbearing and no orders to overhaul, but insightful commentary and helping her with more than punctuation and spelling. She cleaned out the entire spare bedroom for my friend to do her college applications in and it's a perfect little center: huge workspace, tons of mailing supplies, gigantic dry-erase board calendar, computer and printer, everything.</p>
<p>Your children are all very lucky to have such helpful parents...although it is rather amusing when my dad asks me things like "So...they take the top 3000 highest SAT scorers and they go to Harvard, right?" I guess I wouldn't want to give up that.</p>
<p>Yikes, I bet the parents who nag their kids a lot and are over-involved don't have the guts to admit it on this thread. I know I don't. ;-) ...since everyone else here seems to have it down jusssst right.</p>
<p>I bet you guessed wrong. Most of us parents who became interested in colleges did so because of very determined kids who were looking outside of the experience of the neighbor kids who go to the local State U's.</p>
<p>Neither of my parents, though my mom does know how to post on a messageboard, would post on this site; more often than not, they tell me not to go on the messageboards b/c I'm likely to drive myself crazy comparing myself to all the other applicants.</p>
<p>That's very true :p but that's why I go to this forum often; it injects a much needed (and appreciated) dose of reality into this process.</p>
<p>With regards to involvement, my parents were never overpowering in the application process, but they were always there when I needed them. (What I mean by the former is that they were totally cool with me applying to all East Coast schools [we're in CA] and never told me where to apply, as I've seen parents do with many of my friends.) They were thinking about all this a year ago; my mom definitely pushed me to start investigating colleges' websites and determine what it was I was looking for. She and my dad organized a college trip in April 06 that was incredibly valuable in showing me that I wanted a school with good writing/Mandarin programs, located near a big city like NYC or Boston (believe me, that eliminated so many choices from the original list!).</p>
<p>During the app process itself, my mom was wonderful; she gathered all the addresses of admissions offices and printed out the necessary forms -- basically she did busy work that I offered to do but she was glad to take care of. She and my dad helped proofread/cut my essays for content/size, but most of that time we had an outside prep counselor.</p>
<p>So, my parents were definitely motivators, but they didn't tell me what I had to do/where I had to go.</p>
<p>I basically became the administrative assistant for both my kids. Put together deadline charts for apps/scholarships/aid, kept track of sending scores in, edited essays, helped with cover letters, set up folders for each school, etc, helped with financial aid forms. D also had auditions which,as any performing arts parents know, add a whole new dimension of planning requirements.</p>
<p>I took this role on willingly as I tend to be a planner, and both kids, I think, appreciated the help. Although at the time, they also saw me as a major nag.
In the end, the both positive results giving them some very nice choices.
Would it have happened without me? Very likely "yes" for D, definitely not for S who is a major procrastinator and not into details.</p>
<p>This process is so unfair.</p>
<p>There should be a checkbox asking if the parents helped with college selection, visits, coordination, application completion, encouragement and support, things like that.</p>
<p>What's unfair...parents s/b involved in selection, visits, coordination. Do you really think a checkbox covering all of these areas would make a difference. Frankly, parents need to be very involved up to the point of actually completing the application...at that point the student needs to own the rest of the process...it's their job to put all the possibilities out there.</p>
<p>I have:
Filled out the financial aid forms
Paid for the application fees
Helped book appointments that needed to be made while my son was in school and could not make the calls</p>
<p>That's it---have read the final essays, but made no comments. Have made a few suggestions to him for schools to consider</p>
<p>I have a question for all the parents: do you think that your kids could have filled financial aid forms out by themselves if you hadn't done it? I'm worried because I'm not sure that my parents will help me with that and just glancing at the FAFSA I get a headache. My dad had a different job in 2005 so our income was drastically lower (around 50k probably) and so I can't use 2005 tax returns to start working on stuff.</p>
<p>Any suggestions? My GC said she can't help me with financial aid stuff for some reason and I would feel weird asking a teacher or friend's parent to go through my parents' financial statements for me.</p>
<p>fafsa is really easier than it looks at first glance. Print the worksheet, prep, then give yourself about one hour on the online form. Go to the site and get your pin number first, really important, takes about 24 - 48 hours...must have it to do the form. So don't wait to do yhis part or you will miss your deadlines. You can estimate your dad's new income with his paystubs. His final stub should show earnings "year to date".
Just do your best!</p>
<p>It's a lot easier if you're an adult and actually know what they're talking about. When I look at that stuff, it's like a foreign language since I've never even seen finance/tax stuff before.</p>
<p>I decided what schools to look at, filled applications, made hotel reservations for visits, asked for fee waivers, did all the busywork, filled financial aid stuff (which has been so far, the hardest thing I have ever had to do- not just in the application process but EVER, harder than letting go of Dawson's Creek)</p>
<p>My parents helped by not nagging b/c they know how much i hate that. i guess they were not involved by CC standards but they did drive me to all my college visits (I love my wonderful dad who can actually read maps). they paid for SAT prepbooks and always asked me how i was doing while studying for the SAT's and took me out for chinese after taking the test and after i got my results. They did not read any of my essays (they don't speak english) or looked at any of my applications and that is perfect for me.</p>
<p>I guess some people need more help than others. I am very independent and if i needed help i just asked teachers/guidance counselors (which does not mean i don't love my parents b/c i do...very much)</p>
<p>btw they promised to take me out for chinese after i finished my applications, and they still haven't.</p>
<p>We have an organization in our state that helps students and parents with the financial aid piece (at no cost). Here it's called the VT Student Assistance Corporation. Ask your GC if your state has something similar.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Yikes, I bet the parents who nag their kids a lot and are over-involved don't have the guts to admit it on this thread. I know I don't. ;-) ...since everyone else here seems to have it down jusssst right.
[/quote]
:) :) :) By George, I think you've got it, lealdragon!</p>
<p>This may mean I'm over-involved or just incompetent, but I needed more than 3 hours yesterday to make the hotel reservations, reserve college tours and info sessions online, and find out when/whether the schools we'll visit in April offer ballet classes that jive with the rest of the schedule. My d selected the schools we'll visit, and will email the instructors for permission to audit or take each class. I think that's a fair division of labor. </p>
<p>The upside to my being responsible for managing the schedule is that we'll stay in hotels I like, using my points (this is my "vacation," after all), and that we have tour appointments for the days and times that work for us (and by "us," I do include "me"). Had I left it up to my d, I'd be wondering where we were going on what day until her inner alarm clock kicked in, maybe 10 days before departure. </p>
<p>I'll also admit that I've followed college admissions since my oldest d was a 10th grader 8 years ago. College is costing us a LOT of money and has, of course, had a major impact on our current way of life, and will continue to affect us until the last loan is paid off. I just can't be "hands off" about anything that expensive.</p>
<p>My parents handled the financial aid process. With the regular application, they helped proofread my essays and check the file over for errors. They liked to think that reminding me of deadlines was part of their job (lol), but I had that pretty well covered. </p>
<p>Now, before sending in the application, they toted me around to college visits and tours and fairs and talked to my guidance counselor and the like. And of course, they raised me and endorsed my activities and such, which is all a large part of the process...</p>