<p>My parents give me a LOT of leeway. I pick my own classes, do my own ECs, find out college info, study for SATs, etc.</p>
<p>They pretty much tell me to do what's best for myself and it's pretty awesome.</p>
<p>I don't understand why some parents will tell their kid what to do, sign their kid up for the SATs, sign them up for prep classes without telling them, come on CC and brag about their kids, list their stats and ask for chances, etc.</p>
<p>How involved are your parents?</p>
<p>I’m like you haha. I’ve done all my research, SAT studying, applications, ECs etc. My parents are confident that I know whats best for me so they just let me go through the necessary processes while they “check in on me” here and there</p>
<p>Agree. I’d even find it kinda creepy if my parents were to make CC accounts and talk about my stats and stuff, haha.</p>
<p>Yeah. I am with the rest of you. My parents have never pushed me to do anything. I just do it myself. That’s the difference between me and my brother.</p>
<p>my parents never even asked me about my hw, but then again I was always a really good student and self motivated. I would be rather p****ed off if they tried to tell me what to do about college (but I did need them to pay for my applications 
. There were a few top seniors at my school whose parents monitored EVERYTHING. It was so obnoxious and their kids ended up only getting into the U’s they would have if the parent’s didn’t get involved in the first place. Now the kid’s are so dependent on their parents to do everything. I wonder if their parents will call their college professors to complain etc…</p>
<p>limabeans yeah haha I hate it when I see parents raging online about their kids not getting accepted to certain places. My dad just says “get A’s and do what you like”. I think that’s a good approach, unlike that where parents try to outline their child’s entire life :/</p>
<p>They’re clueless. haha. I pretty much do everything, and explain to them what they need to do.</p>
<p>My parents are in the business with international students and the majority of them first go to a community college and transfer to four year universities and it’s really bad on my part because a lot of them got into great schools like UC Berkeley or LA with only a 3.6 (because they’re intl. students and transfer from a community college) so my parents basically have it in their mind that I can get into berkeley… which I know for a fact will not happen. I have a 3.6 UW and there is no way in hell I am going to get into berkeley… sorry. </p>
<p>It has taken so much persuading like even now they still don’t understand and they think i’m making all this bulllcrapp up- but I’m not. Like they don’t know. This summer my parents friends came over with their son and they looked at schools like USC and UCLA and it’s his top choice. I know for a fact I’m smarter than him and have a better GPA etc etc, but he’s an intl. student and is transferring from a comm college as well and I tried to tell his parents that it’s so much harder for me and like my parents they just don’t understand… 
</p>
<p>Like they don’t push me to get good grades or good sat scores or whatever I do all of my internships and volunteer work myself. But I mean they still want me to go to a school with a huge name like UCB… and they keep believing that I can get in with my resume and gpa but it’s not going to happen… like It’s great that my parents have so much hope in me but I think that parents or people that are not from our generation just don’t realize how competitive college is right now. </p>
<p>They have no idea how hard and selective it is. Like my boss for my internship was like… “Well I know you do great in your academics and are a good student so I’m sure you’ll get into UCB” it’s like… sorry it doesn’t work that way hahaaha…</p>
<p>But overall they’re supportive for the most part with my major decision and the schools I want to go to as long as it’s practical for them.</p>
<p>Yeah my parents are just like whatever.</p>
<p>My mom is so clueless, it’s not even funny… quite sad in fact. My dad wants best for me and is the one who emphasizes the importance of my education… but he just tells me to do whatever. He’ll listen to whatever I tell him when explaining something, but I don’t think he cares really to thoroughly understand. </p>
<p>Honestly I feel so isolated in the whole process. I sometimes wish my parents were a bit like the moms and dads on here.</p>
<p>My parents have always told me that my education is my responsibility. I must perform to the best that I am capable of. If I get a b on a test they are mad not at me but upset for me because they know that I am mad at myself. I have the drive to discover Info and go through the college process. If I didn’t my parents wouldn’t give me money to apply. I relay all the info I find to my parents just so they know what’s going on. Occasionally they will say something but that’s because they should still voice their opinion because they will be paying a good portion of my tuition.</p>
<p>I am one of those annoying, clueless parents, that has just opened a CC account.</p>
<p>You may not realize this, but leaving critical decisions up to a 17 year old who has no life experience is not in my view being a good parent.</p>
<p>I have 4 college degrees, and my ex wife has 3, so I think perhaps between the two of us, we actually might know just a little bit about colleges. Plus, our combined SEVENTY years of experience in the working world, in all sorts of occupations and businesses.</p>
<p>Ultimately, the decision as to what school you go to must be that of the student, if only because a parent would not want to be blamed if he or she nixed his kid’s first choice, and then you were then unhappy at the school you did wind up going to. </p>
<p>I invite you to see the post somewhere on this sight entitled “stupid reasons your kid refused to apply to a college”, or something like that.</p>
<p>You will see kids who refused to apply to Boston University, because they hated the Red Sox, and silly stuff like that.</p>
<p>Also, you might consider that since your parents are likely PAYING for some or all of your college, that they have a right to participate in the process.</p>
<p>In my case, my kid has no interest in researching his various college choices on college confidential, so I do it for him.</p>
<p>No one in your life will ever care about you like your parents. Once they are gone, you will appreciate this fact more.</p>
<p>My parents don’t know what subject tests are.</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>My parents haven’t been controlling about high school. They’re getting more involved with the college selection process, but that’s mainly because I’m so undecided on my college list. Nothing overbearing, though, which is good for me.</p>
<p>^^ neither my parents nor my school knew what subject tests were lol</p>
<p>It all depends on the kid. Some kids are super independent and engaged in the college admissions process. They know what kind of environment brings out the best in them, they know what they plan to study, they do the research, they ask questions, they attend info sessions, they organize visits to the schools they are interested in, they raise important questions like ‘what can we afford’ and generally have the maturity you’d like to see in a young adult leaving for college. Others, at 17, are still kids - they have no idea what would be a ‘good fit,’ what questions to ask, or what they plan to study. They need parents who are engaged and helping them to make smart choices. In a year or so, they’ll be where the other kids are in terms of maturity - but the decisions will have already needed to be made, hopefully with the assistance of informed parents with their kids best interests at heart.</p>
<p>My parents are rather apathetic, but I do appreciate others like floridadad who express a curious and intentionally benevolent (NOT overbearing) interest in their children’s future goals, whether it be going to college or not. </p>
<p>My mom is somewhat behind-the-times, if you will, when it comes to college admissions and still thinks that anyone who has straight A’s can get into Harvard. However, she constantly urges me (jokingly?) to consider local community colleges because that’s “what [she] did.”</p>
<p>My dad is more realistic and participates in the college selection process with me to a greater–though not annoying–extent. He was the first to visit schools with me, and if we liked them, then we took my mom to visit a second or third time down the road. Although at times he has urged me to consider reaching higher (i.e. the Ivy League), I’ve always told him that once a candidate reaches a certain threshold, the admissions decisions are basically unpredictable, and I’d rather focus on getting into a school where I know I will enjoy the next four years of my life. He respects this and backs off, and I respect him for doing so.</p>
<p>SOME parents, though, are absolutely absurd. My ex-girlfriend’s mom was erratic; she kept a list of EVERY single community service activity, award won (no matter how big or small), and any other accomplishment made by her daughter that she deemed college-worthy. She had a schedule for when her daughter needed to be finished with certain aspects of the application, including essays. In fact, she even filled out a few applications to safety schools and mailed them in already, WITHOUT her daughter knowing until she received an email confirmation. That, in my opinion, is crossing the line. </p>
<p>It’s fine–and probably beneficial–for parents to be informed about their children’s college decisions. It’s fine to lightly throw out recommendations here and there. BUT, as floridadad has mentioned, it is ultimately the student’s choice. They’re going to be at a college for the next four years, away from their parents, and that’s only the first step. Parents need to face it; the big decision making starts here.</p>
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<p>I agree … but within the parental financial contribution budget established by the parent.</p>
<p>^YES, or within a reasonable loan limit established by the parents and student together. Good point. No sense in going off the deep end though, it is rare to find a school that is worth >$50,000 in debt.</p>
<p>I would say that the loan limit should also be ultimately the student’s choice, since it is the student who will have to pay off the loan. However, since most high school students are clueless about loans, interest, and repayment, the parent should give very specific advice and use all his/her powers of persuasion to prevent the student from making a dumb decision.</p>