<p>time to back off. It’s a long senior year if you can’t deal with it
already you’re going to be in trouble. This may not just be about
the app process, perhaps a good time to talk to someone and gain
some insights into your process.</p>
<p>Speedo, that is one of the problems, I don’t have anyone to talk to that can understand this whole process. I guess that is why I am reading all the posts in this site, it gives me comfort. I am trying not to stress, but it is very hard!</p>
<p>BroadwayMom–Can you talk to your daughter’s counselor? He or she might help with the process and help you look for schools where they will appreciate your daughter’s talents and not care as much about her math scores. Also, your daughter may be acting very “unworried” because she sees you worrying so much–sort of balancing out. Try to act less worried; let her know that you believe she’ll do great things in her future and that some school is going to be lucky to get her. You’re right, it’s hard work trying to guide and care without stressing and obsessing! Good for you for coming to CC and eating chocolates instead of making your daughter crazy!</p>
<p>It would just be my opinion, but to not get some longer term perspective into this process is risking a tremendous backlash from your D… and truly, the rest of the family “turning” on you will be nothing compared to that. So finding some balance so as not to drive her crazy and you feeling overwhelmed will be tricky.</p>
<p>This IS a very stressful process, but you have to disengage somewhat for the sake of your kid. THis is HER process, (for the most part). Sure, you have a say financially and certainly can make a time line (which might be very therapeutic for you), but if after three times of taking SAT’s (and I assume there is some prep test going on there in between), perhaps you need to accept she aint that great at Math? Not sure, but having feelings of failure before you’ve even begun cannot be good.</p>
<p>About making some sort of Timeline. Set a small weekly goal throughout the rest of summer. For example. Have her research two schools she is interested in a week and present you with three things she might like about the school and three things maybe why she doesn’t think they are a good fit for her. You might also have her give three subjects that she might want to pursue for essays one week… maybe a rough idea of the direction of three of those the next. Lay it out so you’ll meet on Fridays to discuss her process and progress. THis way you leave her autonomy while also addressing your own needs to be pro-active. But here’s the caveat: You cannot talk about it at all during the week. You can make notes etc, but these have to be addressed in your weekly update meetings unless she initiates conversation. And, if she refuses to do the weekly work she can do it on the weekend, without that pesky going out thing to distract her (aka grounding).</p>
<p>thanks mom in virginia, by the way we are in love with VA, we did the college trip this past spring break and visited 12 schools in 2 weeks, we saw uva and college of william and mary, oh my…they had a very nice musical theatre program…Her high school counselors are completely in lalaland…I know more than them, I have spent 3 years in Barnes and Noble and the libray reading every single college book you can imagine. I need to work on my stress level…I just don’t want her to be unhappy and give up, she doesn’t want to stay in Fl, I wished she would, it would be less expensive for me, but ultimately I want her to be happy no matter where. Right now, she is in Ithaca College for a 3 weeks musical theatre program for 3 credits, she auditioned in March and got in, it might be a good sign…but the colleges/universities she is looking for, except Julliard and Boston Consevtory, require a good SAT/ACT. All I can do is wait and pray. She will try one more time in Otober, it would be her 4th SAT, and in Sept her first SAT. Thanks for listening…it feels lonely in this process. I have to control my Godiva intake! :-O</p>
<p>PS… Still I also agree that coming here to vent and let it out is a helluva lot better than taking it to your kid. It literally saved me. I looked perfectly relaxed in real life because I was so freakin’ wound tight on here!!!</p>
<p>Hi Modadunn, she already has the list of the schools she wants to apply. Even a white board with all the school and deadlines, she needs to work on the essays and try harder in the math. Yes, I invested a lot of money between the famous SAT prep course and a year of tutoring in math. She doesn’t like math, and she has in her mind that she won’t need math to act and sing. So what can I tell you! I am taking these 3 weeks to relax a bit about it, since she is out in Ithaca College for 3 weeks on a musical theatre program. But I tell you, every time I see a college brochure, or the blue book or any of thetons of letters we get in the mail, my stomach twitches! This junior year was the hardest of all, her schedule was so heavy that I felt I was in school again, with all the driving and so on…I am not looking forward to her senior year, I think is going to be way too much for me…I almost had a nervous break down in her junio year, with all the AP, Honors classes, voice coaching, dance lessons, acting lessons, tutoring classes, acting gigs and extra curricular activities!
Thanks for all your advice. It is nice to have someone to listen to me…especially when no one else does. :-)</p>
<p>Hi, BroadwayMom - is your d planning to apply for a BFA? If so, I hope you’ve visited the Musical Theatre majors board here on CC - you’ll never find a more informative or helpful resource. Much expertise, to say nothing of encouragement, there.</p>
<p>I ask because you mention UVA and W & M as among the schools you’ve visited, and even that one of them has “a very nice musical theatre program.” Neither school has an MT department; nor do they offer the BFA degree (though UVA does offer the MFA in Drama). W & M doesn’t offer a major in theatre or dance. I believe the school only does one musical each year, which would probably not be sufficient preparation for a professional career.</p>
<p>I’m trying to let go of the stress, too. My D has said that she wants to complete all her applications before the start of the school year in Aug., and I fully support this endeavor. We’re going to pick her up on Friday from a two week leadership course at Brown, and I’ve decided that I’m going to change my approach with her at that time. Instead of keeping tabs on her progress, I’m going to tell her to keep me informed.</p>
<p>Yes, I’ll be a sounding board, and yes, I’ll give her feedback when she asks, but I’m not going to take on the responsibility of reminding her to keep working. If she completes her applications before Sept., great, if not, well, I know she’ll get them done when she determines they need to be done.</p>
<p>Before she left for Brown, I could feel the tension as I observed her having fun (imagine!) instead of working on her AP assignments. I can’t live like that. She completed those assignments, no problem, they just weren’t done in time for me to avoid the stress. So I know by telling her that I’m not going to hold her hand, which she doesn’t want me to do anyway, that I must accept whatever the outcome is.</p>
<p>I’m ready to do that. I think…yes…I’m sure I am. Well…I’ll soon be ready…where did you say that chocolate is???</p>
<p>Good for you, FlyMeToTheMoon. When (not if) your resolve falters, come back here and/or remind yourself that you are doing this for her–you’re demonstrating that you have confidence in her. Like you said, you have lots of wiggle room, since most aren’t due til Jan. 1 anyway.</p>
<p>Frazzled1,
Thanks for the tip. I will double check on those 2 schools. I think they only had a drama dept. and it was in her list in case she didn’t get into MT.</p>
<p>Thanks, Mom in Virginia, I will!</p>