<p>Woody, the answer is he is working around the clock and barely has time to eat. Social life is just not even in the picture other than Friday night and during the day Saturday. He increasingly goes to bed early on Saturday nights so he can be fresh for a full day of studying on Sundays. I think they try to cram five years of coursework into four for some of these programs (we all know how folks watch that four-year graduation rate stat). He seems open to taking an elective or two in the summer and just working part-time, so his fall and spring semesters can be less stressful. His brother used that approach and it seemed to work well. He seems to like his major. He says it is similar to when two-a-day practices start in football in August heat. Not fun, but part of the program. He does have a lot of friends at the school he knows from his high school, so has a ready-made group to go out with when he has the time and doesn’t have to try to forge new friendships, which would be pretty hard with his schedule.</p>
<p>That is great your son is so into the academics, TheAnalyst! Interesting how his football practices prepared him for that – dealing w/some short-term pain for long-term goal. </p>
<p>My son seems so happy & relaxed I wonder if he’s pushing himself the way he could. </p>
<p>(always wondering about something)</p>
<p>Son took two midterms yesterday (econ and intro business) with one eye swollen shut–he got an elbow in the eye at club soccer practice. He’s sure it affected his performance because he had a bad headache from “squinting” to read and write. He said the shiner is quite impressive.</p>
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LOL
Just drop your high school rule about not getting a tatoo. Don’t ask, don’t tell works well here.</p>
<p>Happened to get a link to this, and thought I’d share it here…</p>
<p>[Checking</a> up on Your Teen’s Adjustment to College | AboutOurKids.org](<a href=“Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry | NYU Langone Health”>Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry | NYU Langone Health)</p>
<p>ShawbridgeSon is home for the weekend. He arrived home after 1 AM – debate tournament and then hanging out with friends. His energy is already back despite the fact that he took two midterms last weekend with a cold and wrote two papers last week. In years gone by, he’d still be dragging. </p>
<p>He seems pretty happy and was joking around with his sister. He asked me to think through an argument for a paper (very interesting stuff) and then to dictate to me. His best friend from HS is over and we’ll go out to dinner as a family. </p>
<p>Academically, he’s learning the system (one of his great strengths is to hone in on exactly what people are measuring and judging and then figuring out how to deliver those things efficiently while also getting what he wants out of a course). He got the highest grade on one of the midterms (he’s afraid the course and tests are too easy and so you can’t afford to make careless errors) and did pretty well in math (he’s still a bit rusty and made a couple of careless errors). Overall, he seems to be adjusting well, with considerable help from his cousin and me and from the school on dyslexia support services. [At his request, they found him some rooms in the basement of the library where he can work, dictate to his computer or to an individual over the phone without disturbing anyone, and have internet access. Got him, finally, an audio version of one of his textbooks. Generally, they’ve responded positively and constructively to every request]. </p>
<p>Socially, he’s meeting kids who share his interests (some are quite nerdy, he says, because that is who tends to like the things he likes) and interesting people. Described a 3 hour conversation he had with a guy who is a student of Aristotle (who explained why Aristotle’s circular logic was deemed to be good reasoning at the time). No girls yet, as far as I could glean. Probably just not ready to bring additional turbulence into his life.</p>
<p>My son is home for Fall Break and I can say I don’t know that I have ever seen him happier. During the first two days of his break he had the opportunity to visit several friends who are attending the school that would have been his second choice. He is so happy that he chose his school. </p>
<p>His grades are a little low for what he would want but that is just part of the adjusting. The class he is having the hardest time in has a professor who really understands freshman and adjusting. He told son if there is a difference in the work from the first half and second half of the semester he always uses the second half of the semester as the final grade. While S and his roommate have very little in common they really like each other and get along well. S seems to have connected with a couple of kids.</p>
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<p>D just reported that she got a 99.5% on her Physics midterm. :eek: And has As in all 4 classes. And spends her spare time desperately searching for a school that will give FA to one-semester transfers – that is, when she’s not calling home in tears. This kid is going to be the death of me.</p>
<p>LasMa - well your D certainly seems to be doing the right things if she really is set on transferring. I’m so sorry that it doesn’t seem to be working out - sorry for her, and also sorry for you 'cause all of us know that “we’re only as happy as our most unhappy child” (or something like that…I have a friend who reminds me of that all the time when either one of my two kids is causing me some type of distress.) Your D’s grades are fantastic (to say the least!), and it sounds like she is not moping around being depressed about where she is - she’s actively pursuing other options. That’s probably all you can ask for at this point.</p>
<p>On a personal up-note: We had our Family Weekend last weekend. In a word: wonderful</p>
<p>He seems genuinely happy and very settled. All the friends I met were friendly and fun. He likes his professors and his classes and is doing well (quote: “as long as there’s nothing below a ‘B’ I’m happy” - which I am in total agreement with, especially first semester.) Dad came right out and asked: Are you happy with your choice? (because with our son his final decision wasn’t an easy one - there was some inner conflict between 2 or 3 schools). Our son didn’t hesitate at all, and the answer was a resounding “YES.”</p>
<p>So, at least for now, I can sleep a little better knowing things are going well. It really was a joy to see him so content - smiling, laughing, joking, talking about professors, parties, and campus events. It’s all good.</p>
<p>Of course, like I think I said in one of my earlier posts, I’m not going to feel 100% secure about anything until I find myself sitting at his commencement ceremony 4 years from now. But hey, that’s my own issue caused by my own slightly neurotic personality!!!</p>
<p>My S (who became ill with a flare of his Crohn’s disease 3 days after we dropped him off from our 16 hour road trip in August), requiring alot of health center and specialists’ intervention initially, has rebounded nicely and just went back after his fall break. Thankfully, he loves it and is doing very well academically. Since the majority of his friends stayed in our hometown area going to our flagship U, he was lucky to always have something fun to do all week (translate: pickup basketball games).</p>
<p>We feel so lucky that despite his distance (he realizes now the downside of the all day plane and bus travel back and forth, but also that it is a small price to pay), he is now pretty well and very happy.</p>
<p>“Of course, like I think I said in one of my earlier posts, I’m not going to feel 100% secure about anything until I find myself sitting at his commencement ceremony 4 years from now.”
China, I’d add: and not coming back home, but either with gainful employment or some other future plan at hand and implemented, lol! (not that I don’t love him, but …:))</p>
<p>“I’d add: and not coming back home, but either with gainful employment or some other future plan at hand and implemented, lol! (not that I don’t love him, but …)”</p>
<p>galwaymom - Oh, I’m with you 100% on that!!! Glad your son is feeling better.</p>
<p>LasMa- I’m sorry it’s still so hard. My D is still up and down, and I sometimes I wonder if she should still be having so much trouble, but I try to remind myself that each child grows in their own way, at their own pace. Try and take time for yourself. My H is better at being hardhearted- he reminds me not to answer every text or every call right away. She’s learning that some problems can’t be fixed by mom or perhaps, even at all, which is a huge life lesson we’ve all had to learn…</p>
<p>Mom of a college freshman</p>
<p>Hi Sailorgirl,
I have the same type of son as a freshman and same ‘sort of concern’ he’s not engineering major (acting). He loves music, sports, friends,… he is in a big college what he wanted. We went for parents’ weekend and had a wonderful time together. It’s tricky, they and you need to feel ‘close’ for you to start lecturing.The facts should be clear, but it’s all how you say/lecture it. Depends very much how close you are. Obviously he loves it there in college (mine too) I would start talking about the ‘good stuff’ (90%) leave the ‘facts’ to minimal (10%)-He gets it!! Just short and sweet … If the lecturing is overkill then it’s stressful and you loose the open connection.</p>
<p>To the Analyst- Vow your son is really motivated/focused really envy that -It’s the goal
thinking that is the key- My son’s math tutor in High School got him to the goal thinking and he did great in math but he doesn’t like math -so far- so he got in to acting which he loves and that got him inot a good college majoring in acting. In his High school years he was 3 years a star in the extracurricular Shakespeare program. Don’t know how to get him to take a math or another class in business as plan B, --Acting as profession is
hard-</p>
<p>Hi hannele, and welcome.</p>
<p>LasMa- Thanks for the welcome! I wish my son would want to do physics -actually his dad would like it, being one himself -I feel sort of guilty because got the good news from my son that he can’t go to the rock concert because he has to do stage management class . He was going to take the bus 5 hours, go to the concert, and take the bus back 5hours!! And he is sick ! Now he is sad because he can’t see Eric Clapton in concert-Girls are so much more mature with academics –</p>