<p>Our freshman D (and only child) moved in to her dorm almost 4 weeks ago. I was quite worried about how she would adjust to college life even though her school is only 30 minutes from home. She suffers from social anxiety and depression.</p>
<p>She takes academics very seriously. She was accepted to every college that she applied to. She ended up selecting this local state university because she felt it would be the best fit for her, plus she was offered a full merit scholarship. She's probably in the top 5% academically at this school. She also selected this college because it doesn't have a party reputation.</p>
<p>We left it up to her how often she would communicate with us. She's been keeping in touch with me by e-mail once a day. She also calls and texts occasionally.</p>
<p>We weren't sure if she was going to want to come home every weekend or not. We have been pleasantly surprised that she stays on campus even though the majority of the kids on her dorm floor leave each weekend to go home. She finds people who remain on campus to hang out with. Because she is used to spending time by herself, it doesn't bother her when the dorm empties out. She likes having the room to herself on the weekends. One of her suitemates (who is a sophomore) usually stays there on the weekends.</p>
<p>She is pleased that the kids on her dorm floor all seem to be serious students who don't like to party. The only thing that is disappointing so far is that her classes are not challenging her. She is taking 16 credits. She is only enrolled in one 100 level course (freshmen honors forum). The rest are 200 level courses mainly taken by sophomores. She said she had a much heavier workload when she took AP classes in high school. But, it's early in the semester and she hasn't taken any tests yet. Time will tell if her classes become more difficult.</p>
<p>She reassured me last night that she is VERY HAPPY and feels right at home. She has several different groups of people that she enjoys hanging out with. She has joined two clubs so far. She said the atmosphere on campus is great and everyone is nice. She ended by telling me "I love it here!"</p>
<p>Needless to say, I am extremely relieved that she has made such a fantastic adjustment so far.</p>
<p>It sounds like she is making the adjustment quite well! I imagine it may not be challenging the first semester, but it will get harder and more academically challenging as she goes along.</p>
<p>We dropped of our S last Sunday, and so far it seems to be going well. My H finally gave in and called him yesterday as our S had not contacted us yet (It has only been since Sunday!) I think it is a good sign that he is adjusting well. </p>
<p>On the phone he said that he is already making friends in his dorm and around the campus. School starts tomorrow, so we will wait to see how he is doing after classes get started.</p>
<p>It is hard not to speak to him regularly, but we are glad that he doesn’t seem to have any troubles adjusting.</p>
<p>D started on 14th August and is 2 hours away. She seems to have settled in really well and is enjoying herself. She auditioned for a part in a play and was given the second female lead part. She has made friends with different groups on campus, seems to be doing really well with her work and has avoided the party scene also. She has joined a few clubs and seems to be visiting the gym more than she did at home. Eating well by the sounds of it. Relations with the roommate are OK but not BFF’s. </p>
<p>She texts every day about things she has been doing, we’ve also had emails, phone calls and a couple of skype calls. She came home for Labor Day weekend and is coming home again this weekend (more to see our dog and the horse at the barn that she volunteers at, I suspect LOL)</p>
<p>The only worrying thing is that she seems to be up until the small hours and then has morning classes, so has been down with a bug for about the last week or so. She always did need more sleep than her other friends - she will no doubt learn she can’t burn the candle at both ends :)</p>
<p>My D just called to let us know that a guy in her computer science class invited her to join the badminton club. She went tonight and had a blast. She also formed a study group in her calculus 3 class. I still can’t believe this is my painfully shy daughter. It appears that she is blossoming now that she is away at college. My heart is so full of joy for her!</p>
<p>I too have been pleasantly surprised with our daughter’s adjustment. I know she sometimes must feel homesick, but she is comfortable with the school and her workload and is most definitely having fun. Nothing like absence to make your heart grow fonder! I think she is loving the independence.</p>
<p>So far so good. Only spontaneous calls (well really texts) home seem to be for medical advice…I say “how about you go see the doctor?” and he says “what are THEY going to do?”…old habits…Oh yeah, and for money.</p>
<p>Hugs, JClipper. Been there, and it is indeed heartbreaking. Mine did eventually find her footing, so please know that a happy ending is still possible.</p>
<p>There are lots of good suggestions on the other thread. You are not powerless. Reach out to the college – the Freshman Orientation leader, the freshman dean, the counselling center. You are not the first parent who is having this worry, and they’re experienced in handling lonely freshmen.</p>
<p>I guess my own best advice comes straight from the horse’s mouth. Over the summer, we were talking about her miserable freshman year (she’s now a junior) and D said, “You and Daddy handled it just right.” I was taken aback because DH and I were SO unsure all year long about what we should do or not do, say or not say. I asked what we’d done so right, and she said simply, “I always knew that you believed in me.” All the worry, all the fears and doubts and heartsickness – I guess we succeeded in hiding it from her, and she read that as confidence that all would turn out well. I think it gave her an anchor to cling to in the storm. Be that.</p>
<p>Mine is happy, settling in, finding his tribe, and hitting his stride. I never really worried about that…mine is a very wise yet still self contained 18 year old. But to know he is happy, already involved in several clubs and the newspaper in his first few weeks, and adding friends left and right on FB…all good. I get a weekly call, an occasional logistics related text, but he isn’t reaching out to us out of need, loneliness, or anything of that ilk.</p>
<p>Its all good. And while I miss him–oh how I miss him–I’m also actually enjoying NOT taking him to school every am before work, running like crazy after work for all the ECs, and no week end cross country meets or other activities. I kind of miss them–but I REALLY am starting to enjoy some me time.</p>
<p>Its all good. Really really good. And I hope that for every one who reads this. To us–and our fabulous college offspring.</p>