how likely is it for nerds to date?

Student Lounge College Life
61

<p>I'm a girl and Icebum has a point .. he's not talking about treating girls like total, absolute crap, because nobody wants to date a real jacka**, he means that the guy who acts suave and teases or makes fun of girls is more likely to get the girl. When you act like that towards a girl, she'll feel like you guys have known each other for a long time and are cool with each other. On the other hand, mr. nice guy.. he's so nice, but he's maybe not as fun to be around, or he might seem bland and 'blah' if he's just nice and adoring all the time. (i'm probably one of the few girls who will admit this)</p>

<p>there's also the thing about playing hard to get. girls do it, guys do it, people are still doing it after hundreds of years so something about it must be working.</p>

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<p>just curious, what exactly is the difference between an immature and mature sense of humor?</p>

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<p>^
immature
"lol you said balls" </p>

<p>Mature
too many to say.</p>

<p>Here is a funny, well I thought it was funny piece supposidly found on Craig's List after a woman put up an ad looking for a "nice guy"</p>

<p>From Craigslist;-</p>

<p>‘I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.</p>

<p>What happened to all the nice guys?</p>

<p>The answer is simple: you did.</p>

<p>See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.</p>

<p>At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.</p>

<p>Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”</p>

<p>Well, once again, you did.</p>

<p>You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ***hole than he ever wanted to be.</p>

<p>Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.</p>

<p>So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:</p>

<p>1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.</p>

<p>I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.</p>

<p>If you were five years younger.</p>

<p>So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve <strong><em>ed yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the *</em></strong>*** and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t ****ing want you, now.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>A Recovering Nice Guy</p>

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<p>JAYD
you are awesome :)</p>

65

<p>ok, judging from the responses here, I'm pretty hopeless. I guess my best days will be when I get older, when I'll be more confident and have a decent job and maturity, thats when women will want me</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I guess my best days will be when I get older, when I'll be more confident and have a decent job and maturity, thats when women will want me

[/quote]
</p>

<p>But you probably won't want them. You don't want that ex-cheerleader with 2-3 kids in tow and no child support from her biker ex-boyfriends. And she doesn't really want you, she's probably more interested in what's in your back pocket.</p>

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<p>"ok, judging from the responses here, I'm pretty hopeless. I guess my best days will be when I get older, when I'll be more confident and have a decent job and maturity, thats when women will want me"</p>

<p>Not true at all.</p>

<p>First -- it's not automatic that one gets more confidence and gets a decent job, maturity as one gets older. People develop these things through life experiences including by participating in organizations, reading self help books, etc.</p>

<p>Second-- you are being very unrealistic if the only women you're interested in are "hot" and by that you mean women who are gorgeous, very sexy and extremely popular. As someone suggested, this is a very shallow outlook. If you stoop low enough, you may be able to attract that kind of woman now such as if you're willing to fund the drug habit of a gorgeous, sexy, high school drop-out.</p>

<p>I don't understand what you have against women who are like you: nice, good grades, average looking, have a small group of friends. Those are most likely to be the type of people who would be good matches for you and who also would love and appreciate you.</p>

<p>Think about it -- what exactly would you do with a hot, but not too bright party girl? How comfortable would you be socializing with her? What would you talk about? And if your only interest is sex -- keep in mind that no one can do that 24/7.</p>

<p>If you end up making big bucks and then attract hot women -- why would you want a woman who only cares about your wallet? And a woman who's attracted to you only because of your money is likely to cheat on you. </p>

<p>Oh, and if you want to date now, drop the "immature" humor if by "immature", you mean jokes that feature farting, burping or crass sexual punchlines. While having a good sense of humor can attract women, having an immature sense of humor repels them.</p>

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<p>umm... i want girls/women that have some brains, like being able to graduate from top schools, not ex-cheerleaders or high-school dropouts. </p>

<p>i DO want girls that are nice, get good grades, and are average looking. i just dont want those butt-ugly girls who study 24/7, if you guys think those are a match for me.</p>

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<p>"i DO want girls that are nice, get good grades, and are average looking."</p>

<p>That's not what your original post indicated since your original post referred to "hot" girls.</p>

<p>Typically girls who are of the type that your last post described are attracted to guys like you as long as those guys don't have immature humor, which is a turnoff for most females.</p>

<p>"i just dont want those butt-ugly girls who study 24/7, if you guys think those are a match for me."</p>

<p>These kind of comments, though, make you seem shallow.</p>

<p>Usually people end up with someone who is similar in looks to themselves. If you're butt ugly, unless you have something major to compensate such as celebrity status or lots of money, you'll probably end up with someone similar in looks. If you're average looking, you'll probably end up with someone who's average looking.</p>

<p>That's exactly what I said in my post that's immediately before your last post: "I don't understand what you have against women who are like you: nice, good grades, average looking, have a small group of friends. Those are most likely to be the type of people who would be good matches for you and who also would love and appreciate you."</p>

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<p>
[quote]
If you're average looking, you'll probably end up with someone who's average looking.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>That doesn't apply for men that aren't short. If you're tall, or musclar, or athletic, or funny, and confident, you can attract almost any woman you want. The secret is appearing to have something that makes you a woman's equal. If you approach a woman out of your league with confidence she'll usually at least humor you. That's when you begin to charm her. If you can get her to laugh, and tilt her neck to the side a bit, she's yours.</p>

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<p>^it's true. The game is mostly your height. It really is that shallow. I know tall ugly guys who do just fine with hot girls, i.e. a lot of basketball players who are busted but do better than short, handsome guys.</p>

<p>College isn't so unlike high school in that regard.</p>

<p>Thing is, most nerds are either short or really skinny. They don't have athletic physiques. So they really don't have a lot of options.</p>

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<p>well my school, which is pretty prestigious, alot of the girls are already intelligent, hence why i was specifically looking for hot girls. there are of course plenty of dumbasses</p>

<p>i'm not butt ugly, i'm average looking. but i am short and skinny, which is why i'm gonna start lowering my expectations since I've only recently been pretty desperate to hunt girls</p>

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<p>Not to discourage you, but short and skinny won't get you far. You seem scientifically minded, read some evolutionary psychology.</p>

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<p>"I've only recently been pretty desperate to hunt girls"</p>

<p>I think you need to adjust your perspective. "Hunt girls" sounds like something Ted Bundy did. Girls also aren't attracted to guys who are desperate.</p>

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<p>wutangfinancial:

[quote]
Not to discourage you, but short and skinny won't get you far. You seem scientifically minded, read some evolutionary psychology.

[/quote]

damn that was cold lol.</p>

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<p>I wouldn't suggest reading evolutionary psychology. It'll only discourage him, and think his woman wants to cheat on him every month for a few days. It's not something you want to know well. </p>

<p>Women aren't animals. They're people. And while they may be complex, what they generally want is very simple: an interesting, respectful, fun guy who can command some amount of respect from his peers, an alpha male that other women want too. You'll notice that women give you more looks when you have another one on your shoulder.</p>

<p>This is what I'd suggest: work out. It'll make you confident, virile and more attractive. You might even gain some muscle while you're at it.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I think you need to adjust your perspective. "Hunt girls" sounds like something Ted Bundy did. Girls also aren't attracted to guys who are desperate.

[/quote]

OMG! LOL! this is the best thread ever.</p>

<p>OP try lifting weights. even if you don't get much bigger you'll be in shape and feel better about yourself. trust me, girls will notice.</p>

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<p>by "hunt girls", you know that I'm not the creepy type like Ted Bundy</p>

<p>I noticed some guys I know aren't the alpha male type, yet still have girlfriends. But this is rare. One guy I knew had a hot girl but he was an easygoing, funny guy, but not all that muscular or talkative</p>

<p>lift weights by myself. it'll feel awkward considering I'll be the only small, boney guy there.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
lift weights by myself. it'll feel awkward considering I'll be the only small, boney guy there.

[/quote]

no one will care dude. if you need help or a spotter people will be more than happy to help you. if you're REALLY bad/weak then just have a good sense of humor about it and people will forget about it.</p>

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<p>^ And if people at the gym do care, ignore them, because there is always a little pack of rats at the gym who like to feel better about themselves by making fun of the smaller, newer guys. For some reason, these guys have forgotten that they weren't born with their muscles.</p>

<p>Working out is really good for you in many ways, like they said. I recommend it; just stick to it!</p>