<p>Just dropped my only S off at his dorm this morning. Dropping him off went well until it was time to leave. I held together pretty well but since then I have been a wreck.
He is only an hour away so I know he will come home to do his laundry and visit with us and friends but I still can't get over the fact that he is not living here full time anymore.<br>
It's true he wasn't around much anyway, but still I saw him for a least a little bit each day. And despite our senioritis senior year we are very close.
I know there are people in much worst positions than mine but still --it hurts.
From people who have been here--how long does it take to adjust?</p>
<p>A cell phone plan with unlimited calling helps tremendously, as does visiting during Parents Weekend. And the Thanksgiving break is just five weeks after that!</p>
<p>In a couple of weeks you should be fine. And as NewHope says, there are the breaks, which come pretty often: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring...they're home constantly!</p>
<p>Only an hour away? You'll be fine.<br>
I found it so much easier with my son, who is also an hour away, than with my older kid who was 3000 miles away. Even though we didn't see son very often, just knowing he was that close made things easier. He didn't come home much-just holidays- but occasionally H and I would drive out and take him, and maybe a friend or two, to dinner in their college town.<br>
It's always hard with the first one, though. I think it started to feel normal and ok for me after the first spring break. By then you realize how fast the time goes and that the next break is just around the corner.</p>
<p>When you walk by his room and you can still see the floor one week after it has been cleaned.</p>
<p>When you realize you are actually keeping up with the laundry.</p>
<p>When you can always find some orange juice in the refrigerator. </p>
<p>It helps to ease the pain.</p>
<p>I went through the same thing last year, although my son is much farther away than yours. A good friend told me that after two weeks she started feeling better after her son had left the year before. So as I was feeling awful, I reminded myself that it was okay to feel that way. And I did feel a lot better after two weeks. (Of course, the time may vary, but I think it was good that I knew the feelings were normal). </p>
<p>Now I have to get used to him being gone again after having a great summer with him home!</p>
<p>My daughter left early because she did a five-week second summer session. </p>
<p>She's home for a week now but she starts her freshman year next week - flies the 1200 miles back soon.</p>
<p>I missed her so much the first two weeks she was gone, partly, I think, because she was lonely. (Summer session is quiet, few people in the dorms, and those who are in the dorms tend to go home on weekends.) After her third week there, she was so happy. She loved her schoolwork and was having so much fun! She had several groups of friends and people to be with at lunch or at dinner or during study breaks or on the weekend.</p>
<p>I think this was the main factor in helping me adjust - knowing she was happy.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! I do have a cell phone and I can text and we do have aol.<br>
But right now that doesn't make me feel any better. I guess that will come with time. </p>
<p>Helpingmom, it is good to hear from other people who have been through this.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am not the only one and that others have it worse than me. And that S seems happy. It's just so hard though. I feel like part of my soul has been yanked away.</p>
<p>Workinprogress--you did make me smile but now I'm sad because I will miss all those things--at least I feel like I will now.</p>
<p>I guess I will just keep hanging in there and hope it gets better.</p>
<p>My first D was a freshman last year - for 2 years it seemed we talked and walked college. I was so excited for her opportunities! She too was only going to be about 75 minutes from home. But I will never, never forget coming home that evening after dropping her off. EVERYTHING in the house reminded me of her - "that's where she used to put her shoes", "that's the commercial she loved", "don't have to buy that type of yogurt cause she's not home to eat it"...and on and on.....I remember so clearly thinking that first day or two, "WHY did I EVER think this going away to college was a good thing??!!"</p>
<p>But I also remember the next day getting a picture on my phone from her - she was sitting by a pond at her new school with a couple of "new" friends, just hanging out after a freshman picnic - all was well! </p>
<p>I missed her everytime she came home and left again - but I was also comforted by the great friends she was making at school who became her second family!</p>
<p>Try as hard as you can to line up things to do in your spare time for at least the first two weeks. Its easy to just sit around and miss them but it doesn't help. Go for a walk, visit friends, or do something with your other kids or spouse, but not a "family" thing you did with S. Anything to change your routine will be helpful. I've done it four times and it is hard each time, but after the first one at least you know it does get better as the year goes by. One word of caution, I never let my kids know how much I missed them it wouldn't help me and would only make them feel bad. I agree with abasket that when they make friends we do feel better. Good luck to you both.</p>
<p>I always miss them, all 4. Each time they come home and leave again. But agree, find something now to replace being a parent. I am so happy and find contentment when they are successfully launching. I let them tell me all about it and find I can be happy even missing them. Also, rediscovered why we got married in the first place, now that kids aren't taking all our time :)</p>
<p>For me the answer to , 'how long does it take to adjust?' was:
The day that I was sure that he was in the right place, happy to be where he was and enjoying the freedom of college.</p>
<p>Excuse me if I take your one hour and up it by 1800 miles. We do it because we know it's time. It stops being about us as parents and becomes about them as (semi)independent beings. It totally sucks and yet is completely necessary. </p>
<p>How do you "adjust" when your one and only child moves two-thirds of the way across the country (and it's a f*****g big country)? You don't; you just get on the plane and get them settled. And then you get jealous of all the parents whose kids are only one hour away.</p>
<p>My D1, now a Jr, is an hour away. It took a few weeks of expecting to see her car in the driveway, or calling up the stairs (yes I did that not thinking!) to see if she was home! We just sent D2 off 3 hours away - and this is harder! Mostly because I worry how she is doing since she is my shy one. I worry that she has no one to eat with, walk back to the dorm with, that she's not meeting her dorm-mates etc. She called the past few mornings as she was walking to her first thing, but this AM she didn't so I had to text her to see if she was awake! She was....I guess I did that with D1 also, worried that she slept her alarm! So, yeah, I wonder too when this will get better. The random "eyes tearing up" thing is annoying...I still have 2 at home to chase around after, but both of my girls are gone, that is so different!</p>
<p>Daughter is leaving tomorrow for her second year at school. I thought it would be easier second time around, but no. I think I am sadder this time because I am more free with my emotion this time, last year I tried a lot harder to keep my emotion in check. We had a very good summer together. It is going to be very hard next summer/fall when she goes to Australia for 5 months. I don't know if you ever "adjust." I just keep on getting flash backs of when my girls when little.</p>
<p>First year was more difficult but we adjusted after a few weeks. Second year was a snap, especially when we heard her, her roomies and friends squealing when the parents finished the drop offs and they were together and "free" once again. We're glad she's so happy.</p>
<p>Adjusting to empty house means doing something else instead of taking care of a kid who used to live with you. I imagine that I would never adjust if I did not find a new thing to do in those after work hours. Does not have to be any meaningful for the rest of the world, just to you.</p>
<p>It took me 2 - 3 weeks to adjust. The first few days were harder than I expected, but after that I was surprised at how quickly I adjusted. (It helped that S was very happy at his school and had no major adjustment or medical issues).</p>
<p>But.... then he came home for fall break. And when he went back, I found that I missed him all over again! Same thing happened at Christmas. He's leaving again this weekend, but I think it will be a lot easier this year.</p>
<p>Ghostfire- your post made me smile.<br>
I'm jealous of the parents who have kids 'only' 2,000 miles away. </p>
<p>We are 10,000 miles away. (There is a side benefit- when he calls at midnight his time, it's afternoon here.)</p>
<p>I have mixed feelings this year with S going back for his sophmore year. Last year I was really anxious and so was he, due to the standard "what if's" and the thought that he did not know a soul there. Fast forward to this year. He got to pick his roomates( 3 guys) and he is so excited to get back to the school that was a perfect fit for him.
Will I miss him? Aboslutely (he is our one and only). Last year after we dropped him off, a week later we took a much planned trip with friends to Ireland. This year I won't have that to focus on but I will stay busy with work and getting things done I did not do at home this summer. I am sure that I will be spending some much needed time trying to locate his floor once he leaves.</p>