I am wondering how long I should wait to transfer colleges. I am a freshman and only just started college but I do not like it here. I cannot see myself staying here for my whole college career. In fact I cannot even see myself staying here for more then a semester. I am genuinely unhappy here, I feel like I have no future at this college. I also do not like being so far away from home (it’s only an hour and a half but it feels much farther). I talk to my parents everyday but I still feel so disconnected from my family.My parents say they only want me to be happy and would support me if I transfer then try to convince to stay. Should I try and stick it out at this college like my parents want? Do you guys have any advice to help my situation? Thank you.
I’m sorry to read you are feeling so unhappy! I want you to know that what you are feeling is very normal.
College is a big transition, and many students feel unhappy, have doubts & regrets, feel out of sorts, sad, and homesick. You might think you are the only one who feels distressed, but lots of students around you feel the exact same way. There is a lot of pressure to hide these feelings and act like everything is great.
I remember feeling a very strong urge to get back home ASAP my first semester. I missed my familiar surroundings! My own bed in my own room and the dog! My mom’s cooking! It was a strong tug on my heart and I wondered if I could ever be happy away at college. I would get quarters and call my mom on the pay phone and sob. It got better! Really! It took some time.
My own daughter was very, very unhappy most of her first year. She also called us, distressed, and talked about wanting to transfer. She was sure she would never be happy at her university and she was certain transferring would solve it. It took until about spring break for her to start to find her way. Once she had housing figured out for the following year, roommates figured out, classes sorted out, better weather after winter, she felt a LOT better & she looked forward to sophomore year. If you asked her, she’d tell you she did not like her school at first, but now she really likes it.
I highly recommend going to the counseling center ASAP and making an effort to get yourself out of your room & get involved in something, anything at your current school. Right now, you are flooded with really strong emotions of sadness and it makes sense that your brain is telling you to get outta there, as a way to find relief.
Also try noticing the times you are NOT feeling sad and distressed and do more of that.
Best of luck to you, and try to hang in there. Hugs!
Give your current situation more time. You seem to be experiencing growing pains. Stay active & stay busy.
You may want to make an appointment at the counseling office and get some professional help in dealing with the transition to college – it is likely you will get some good pointers on how to deal with things as this is not at all uncommon.
In general I think it is a terrible idea to start one college with the intent of transferring out. This will stand in the way of your making meaningful friendships, developing relationships with professors, and getting involved on campus. I suggest you give this college a fair chance - if you decide now that you will be miserable no doubt you will, so instead you should decide to give this new expereince your all and see what happens.