<p>I recently met some parents who each have their boys applying to several BS but have no intention of attending. They basically want to see if their boys get accepted. One of the boys I know and apparently he's not really too keen on going away, just wants to make a point to his piers that he can apply and be accepted. Upon hearing where these 2 boys have applied I personally doubt they'll make it. Having said that, they'll get in and some other boy who really wants to get in won't. OK, there is the waiting list but that's no the point. I seriously disapprove and I was just about to let them know how I really felt before I was pulled away by my wife who knew the conversation was about to make an abrupt turn south. Has anyone else heard of such behavior? Go through all that work to make a point or boast? How many more are out there?</p>
<p>I hate people like that! I know of several who are applying just as an attempt to show off to their friends and it's ridiculous. I'm hoping that admissions officers see this, but I doubt they will. It's not fair.</p>
<p>I definitely want to go to BS, too. I don't think it's really fair for people who don't really want to go to BS to apply.</p>
<p>I know! It's not fair of them and others like them considering that if they get in, someone who really wanted to go is going to get waitlisted or rejected.</p>
<p>It occurs to me that such a story, told to other parents, provides excellent cover in case a child does not get in anywhere. "Oh, Junior got into Y, but he just wanted to see if he could get in." After all, I can't see a school giving the time of day to a nosy neighbor, so the parents are free to say whatever they like. The process of applying to boarding schools is so time consuming, particularly if the kid's applying to more than one, that I can't see any reasonable adult doing it "just to see." (If so, they need a hobby.)</p>
<p>Also, some parents may not yet know if they can afford to send their child to boarding school. For some, it can be acutely embarrassing to admit that Junior got in, but they can't afford to send him.</p>
<p>That said, there are kids who get in and get cold feet; some of them have posted their decisions on this message board. I assume the schools allow for a certain amount of melt in the number of kids they accept, something like, "Of every hundred we accept, 5 will decide to stay home." It doesn't mean they're taking someone else's spot. That is why they have the waiting list, but I expect yield takes care of it.</p>
<p>I have to agree with first paragraph of Periwinkle's post. Future face-saving device in case their kids aren't accepted. By the time college applications come around, these parents will know better than to brag ahead of time, and instead will mumble vague generalities about their kids' college aspirations.</p>
<p>Hmm...that is one way to look at it that I hadn't thought about.</p>
<p>So, when they claim that the kids were accepted but they simply didn't want to attend, you say, "That's too bad because the boys would have benefited from living away from home." Let them decide how to react to that.</p>
<p>Seriously, though, your wife's instincts are correct. It's not your job to police them or punish them...assuming they're telling the truth and not just leaving themselves a face-saving exit strategy as Periwinkle suggests. And if they are that shallow, there's no point in wading in and playing ball with them. You can feel pity and feel sorry for the kids having this sort of parental modeling, but there's no use in trying to instruct other parents about this sort of thing. They're not listening and they won't get it.</p>
<p>In your own way, make sure your own kids get the message that "There's nothing to look at here...just keep moving along." It will be frustrating when, later on, you may overhear these parents boast of their boys' success-riddled March 10. When that happens, bite your tongue. You'll just have to take it on faith that other people see through this ruse and that, instead of being impressed with the boys, they'll be underwhelmed by the parenting.</p>
<p>I Want To Goooo!</p>
<p>that's terrible, i want to go so bad, it would be awful if i didn't get in just because some kid wanted bragging rights. that's just so...ugh.</p>
<p>The schools know about what their yield will be - that's why they accept - not waitlist - more students than they have spots for. At some, as many as twice the number of spots get accepted. I'm sure they have that figured in and as someone else pointed out, it's not taking the spot of someone who wants to go, but rather is simply part of the yield numbers - they will be one of the x% that don't attend. </p>
<p>There probably is more to the story than "just to see" but it sure sounds snotty.</p>
<p>Thank you Periwinkle and D'yer Maker for your comments. I have been biting my tongue for about week and your right, its better that I did not say how I really felt. But I can on CC! They were just so nonchalant how they said it just really irked me. They each applied to 2 BS but I didn’t get to ask how the interviews went, one can only assume. I only hope they were seasoned and perceptive admission officers. There is alittle more to story but bottom line is they applied without the intention of really going.</p>
<p>then there are of course the applicants whose parents only look at the education part and don't actually think about whether their child wants to go. Last year my mom told me about it a week before my interview. </p>
<p>I had no intention of going last year. I wasn't ready and didn't want it. It's a good thing that I got rejected for freshman year or else I would be at bs and most likely be unhappy because I wasn't ready for it. I am now and really want to go, but that doesn't change the fact that last year my mom was ready to send me away knowing how opposed I was to leaving</p>
<p>going to boarding school was my own decision...i definately want to go. and have a full intention of attending if i get accepted.</p>
<p>My daughter reported that almost every interviewer asked her "why do you want to go to boarding school?" They also probed me (the mom) about our reasons for wanting to pursue BS for our daughter. I think the admissions people look really hard at the desire of the child to attend the school and the intent of the parents to support that decision as well. It is neither easy leaving home nor letting your child go far away (in many cases) and the schools don't want to be in partnerships with half committed or uncommitted people. They want kids who are excited about the BS experience, and parents who are enthusiastic about the BS opportunities for their kids. </p>
<p>So my guess is that if people are applying for mere status reasons or something like that, it's going to be rather obvious to admissions people.</p>
<p>I applied for a kindergarten slot in a local private school even though we had no intention of sending my son there. I wanted to get a feel for the process. I could never see subjecting a teen, or myself, to the arduous process of applying to boarding school for the sport of it. I agree this might be face-saving spin in the event of rejection. But who knows.</p>
<p>i feel that is a total waste of time and a complete disregard for other, hardworking people that you (not anyone personally) bumped out of the way so you could get bragging rights. Most of the people that apply honestly want to and they should go over the person who wants to test it out.</p>
<p><em>heavy breating after rant</em></p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>Roses - I would bet one reason you didn't get in last year was the admin who interviewed you knew you didn't want to go (I don't know what you told him/her).</p>
<p>We were asked as was our son - seperately - why boarding school? I've said this before, but one admin told us he can usually tell in about 45 seconds (his words) if the kid wants to go or if it's just his parents idea. He also said he can usually get a good idea if the kid is ready or not. It would be interesting to know, if they really don't have any intention of going, how that part of the interview went. AND, if that's the case, if you will know the truth if the do not get accepted?</p>
<p>good point linda. i hope that in my interviws i made a good first impression</p>
<p>There are some kids who are initially excited about applying to and attending boarding school, but who, later in the process, are ambivalent. My own D is only now beginning to express reservations about BS and suggesting that she might prefer day sch. Kids change their minds - - about which sch they pref, about how far from home they want to be and sometimes about whether they want to leave home at all (fyi: it happes during college admissions too). </p>
<p>I've told D that at this stage in the game, there's not point in making any decision; she should just wait and see what happens - - no committment either way. Maybe the family in the OP were just saying that they want their son/daughter to see the process through to its natural conclusion - - even if the current thinking is that they won't actually enroll him/her.</p>