<p>My guess is that as the year progresses...his feelings will not. The majority of my friends in college had a bf/gf somewhere else at the beginning of freshman year. By the end of the year only one held out and he was broken up w/ her by soph year. </p>
<p>Are you in touch w/ the gf's parents. I would maybe encourage them to not forbid her to see him as for many girls that increases the odds that she will want to remain with him. I very clearly remember taking a 4 hour trip on a greyhound bus to see my bf freshman year. It was absolutely empowering to know that I was doing it illicitly and w/o my parents knowledge or permission. Chalk it up to rebellion and being a brand-new "adult"</p>
<p>Thanks, Historymom for your thoughts! Yes...I absolutely agree with you...when young people are discouraged from doing something, it makes the situation even more romantic. Yes...I have been in touch with her parents...they feel strongly that she not travel...but maybe as time goes on they will relent. Has nothing to do with my son, more that she is a freshman and needs to acclimate to college life and the academics...as does he!</p>
<p>My D had a close friend in HS whose parents would not allow her to apply to any school her BF was applying to. Well the long distance realtionship did not work out but she already (2 months into school) met someone new and is engaged to him. So that kind of backfired. </p>
<p>My D is at the same school as her b/f of almost two years. They seem to still be going strong. I definitely feel she is missing out on a large part of the college experience and new friends etc as their socialising and eating is done mostly together. I will have no toungue left soon as hard as I am having to bite it to keep from saying too much :( (like the comment that slipped out about her 'playing susie homemaker' when I called one sunday and she was making him breakfast in the dorm kitchen - oops)</p>
<p>D, a first-year, and her bf (a college junior) of 2 1/2 yrs recently broke up. While in her case, the move to college heralded the end of the relationship, that was obviiously not the case for him - - so thats 50/50 in support of the conventional wisdom that hs couples part by Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>In D's case, she applied ED to college w/i 20 min of his. Fortunately, the college she chose was a good match for her (top 16/17 LAC, strong in her proposed major, etc.) and his presence was merely a sweetner.</p>
<p>D seems to be taking it well; bf not so (he spent his b'day alone). It's early enough in the year that she has "lost" anything by having started w/ a bf - - she has a wonderful circle of friends (great support when the wound was fresh) and has already met several boys (though she insists she's not ready for another bf so soon). </p>
<p>Bf's experience, OTOH, is precisely what parents fear. He focused on D and never made friends on his own campus; now a junior, he's floundering socially and has no core group of friends. D feels very bad for him (even though he's the one who broke it off); my only fear is that D will take pity on in an reconcile.</p>
<p>I have seen many stories about HS sweethearts split by college who get together many years later. There is something about first true love that seems to last for many people. Even over decades.</p>
<p>^^that happened here, sort of..DH and I dated in high sch. but he was 3 years ahead of me so we broke up when he went to college. Three years later when I was a freshman and he a senior in college (at diff. schools, 1.5 hrs. apart) we got back together over Christmas break at home. We both dated others in between (I was very serious with another guy for 2 years) but when we got back together just knew it was the right thing. We got married after my soph. year and I transferred to the state u. where his job was to finish school. 25 years years later, we'll still here.</p>
<p>Out of my D's HS friends, 6 out 7 couples broke up (including my D and her BF) by this past Thanksgiving with 4 of them breaking up during Thanksgiving break. Lots of TURKEY DUMP here!!!
Hindsight...I worried for nothing!! My dear H was right...just let it be and it will all eventually work itself out.
Unfortunately, now I have to worry about all the boys (strangers) my D will be meeting in college!! AUGH...you can't win!!!</p>
<p>Haha this is when you find out just how silly and immature those high school relationships are. Put them through the long-distance college test and almost every single one fails. Really isn't a surprise or anything. I was in a relationship with a high school senior when I was a freshman in college. I tried my best to keep things going, but it was her who became depressed with the distance thing. Besides, I hated the idea of entering a new stage in my life completely tied down. College is meant to be a place for new experiences. Going into college with a gf is usually a mistake anyway. We broke it off after 2 months of trying and it wasn't a bad thing at all. Everyone I know who went through that says it was a blessing in disguise. Like I said, college is a place for new experiences. So I first did the whole macho college-guy thing with the parties and different girls all the time. Didn't really find it very rewarding after awhile. Then I met this great girl that I started dating up here at college, and I have been dating her for over 2 years now. Trust me parents, don't fret when those silly high school relationships get thrown out the window.</p>
<p>Well, my son's long distance relationship survived Thanksgiving, woefully. I think what bothers me most is the intensity of the relationship. They must be calling/facebooking/texting each other dozens of times a day. Thankfully, my son is doing well academically in school and really does like it. My whole litany, like many other parents, is how college is supposed to be a time of new adventures, relationships, etc... I just didn't imagine this. It is my son's first girlfriend, so maybe that is why it seems so "serious.?"</p>
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My whole litany, like many other parents, is how college is supposed to be a time of new adventures, relationships, etc..
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<p>My youngest son broke up with a girl he had been dating for over a year during his first semester freshman year. Though it was several months of drama and it did affect his college life socially, in the long run it was for the good. He has not dated any one seriously since then and now says he wants to wait a good long time (has already been 2 years) as all the emotional ups and downs and drama of a relationship really takes too much time. I'm sure when he meets the "right" one, that philosophy will abruptly change, lol.</p>
<p>I remember moving into my dorm as a freshman. As I unpacked the picture of my then-BF, my new roommate's mother rolled her eyes and said something to the effect of "Let's see how long THAT lasts." (I think my own mother was standing behind me nodding her head in agreement so I couldn't see!)</p>
<p>That was in 1983, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past May.</p>
<p>My D is a now a college senior. When a sophomore, she said that she didn't have time for a serious relationship, there would be plenty of time later. I confess that inwardly I sighed with relief. Hard enough to do what she's trying to do without the tsuris of emotional up-and-downs of the-world-is-ending variety...she save those for when she has a job. :)</p>
<p>When S left for school one direction, and his girlfriend left for school another direction, (with promises of marriage some day), it wasn't long before Facebook pictures suggested that GF had moved on. Perhaps Facebook was too new for her to realize that if she posted pictures of her new "friend," S (accepted as a friend) was able to see them, too. At any rate, S (now a senior) broke up with her over Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>D met a boy 3 years ahead of her when she went on a campus visit to her future college. They have been together since the minute she got there 2 1/2years ago. He has since graduated but is staying in the area waiting for her to finish up. He's a nice boy but my spidey-senses are telling me she may not consider him "the one".</p>
<p>funny that this thread has been revived so I see my posting from last Dcember saying S's long distance relationship had survived the Freshman thanksgiving.
Well, it didnt survive the sophomore thanksgiving.Distance did them in as their home bases are hours and hours apart and their college bases are 11 hrs apart.</p>
<p>I'll just throw in a different viewpoint. H and I started dating when he was 15 and I was 17. I was his first date/kiss/love. I went off to college 4 hours away and he joined me the next year. We were married 3 weeks after I graduated. It has lasted 22 years.</p>
<p>H graduated summa cum laude with a degree in theoretical mathematics. I wasted a lot of time having fun and not studying. :p</p>
<p>Not having to "worry" about dating and playing all those games actually gave us more time to get stuff done.</p>
I don’t like to hear so many stories of bf/gf surviving. I too, am afraid my d will lose out on all the college experiences if she is with her boyfriend. She is going 40 minutes from our home where b/f lives. BUT bf sister attends my daughters college, has a house only a few blocks from my daughters dorm. Guess where boyfriend can stay and maybe my daughter,too. Bf also works 20 minutes from my daughters college. So it is very easy for him to go there after he works.
I am afraid of this new freedom to be together will eliminate my dd chance to meet new people and do things on her own.