I asked one of my professors for a letter of recommendation for grad school. He was really excited, but also told me to send 4-5 letters even if they only ask for 2 or 3. Most of the programs I’m looking at only ask for 2, and sending 3 wouldn’t be but, but 4/5 seems excessive. I have a lot of trust in this professor and don’t think he is trying to lead me astray, but I also think that he might be wrong on this. What do you think? How many letters is too many?
You need to look at what each grad school will accept. It is usually made pretty clear on the website or the application. For both my S and D the grad programs they applied to accepted between 2 and 3 LORs (depending on the school).
Send the number requested. Extras are likely to just be tossed. No one on the committees wants to be reading more letters than they absolutely have to.
Where an extra contact might serve you, is when that person knows someone in the department you would be entering. In some cases this can make a difference in which research group you can get into.
I am not sure how my kid could have even sent more than they requested given the process for submission atmost schools. Three strong letters are what you need. The more research related the better.