<p>My nephew is applying to 16 colleges(!) and my sister in law apparently has been filling out all the apps except for the essays and short answers. She fills out all the name, address, grades, etc. She feels since this is just information, it is fine for her to do this for him. (I might add he is in all AP classes and gets mostly A's, so it is not like he is not able to do this!) She thinks it is great he is "motivated" to apply to all these schools, some of which he has no interest in going to, just wants to see if he gets in! I pointed out that HE was not that motivated if SHE was the one doing most of the work! Needless to say, she was miffed! Question: I feel that if my S wants to go to a school badly enough, he will get the apps in. I read them over for errors, fill in financial info if needed and give him the credit card to pay. She said all her friends did it the way she is doing it! Am I in the minority here? How much do you "help" your kids fill out their apps?</p>
<p>I just proofread, but I have friends who did what you're describing. I don't think it's wrong because it IS just info, nothing creative. My son did his online and I would have screwed that up anyway. I did make calls to admissions offices when we had questions.</p>
<p>Help? My d barely showed me the apps before she hit submit...She did, however, ask if she was on the right track for some of the quirky essay questions...</p>
<p>I don't think that your sister-in-law's situation is that unusual though....My bigger problem with your statement is the "some of which he has no interest in going to, just wants to see if he gets in!" This is the mentality of some people that really screws up this process for the kids who have done their research and have a full list of reaches, matches and safeties that they would truly be happy with......</p>
<p>Can't wait to see the answers as I've wondered the same thing myself. I've heard of parents who take a very hands-off approach and others who take an active role in shepherding the process.</p>
<p>I'm not there yet, but I'm thinking it's not that big a deal to just fill out formulaic paperwork. I'd rather my son spend his time on polishing his essay and working with teachers/counselor on recommendations.</p>
<p>My wife and I were permitted to look at an early draft of the Common App essay, and my wife was allowed to point out a couple of typos/punctuation errors in the final draft. That's about it, except for my asking "Have you submitted your applications yet?" every day or two.</p>
<p>My son asked me to fill out the parts he wasn't sure of - for example where we went to college when. (And even where he was born - small town in Germany!) He also made me address envelopes as he was worried about his lousy handwriting. I did take a look over the applications to make sure all the squares were filled in. I'm not overly worried about parents filling in the list part of the application. I'm concerned there are parents out there writing essays.</p>
<p>My mother proofread my essays for grammatical mistakes and weird phrasing, and also filled out the only application I didn't send in over the internet (since I have absolutely terrible handwriting, and didn't quite want a college to see that yet)</p>
<p>otherwise I've done everything else myself</p>
<p><em>just a word from a student on this matter</em></p>
<p>I don't have a problem with parents filling in the factual stuff and addressing envelopes. Unfortunately, many parents don't stop there!!</p>
<p>Mizzou; I think each kid is different. Each has a different schedule, workload, comittments, etc... I had no problem filling out the online/paper applications for my son. Between 2-3 hours a night of homework, football season just finishing up, other comittments, some relaxation, etc... his time is very structured. I helped him with 7 applications. I only did the online/paper applications. He still did the essays, bringing forms to his teachers and administration, getting letters of recommendations, transcripts, etc... Me filling out the admin information for him isn't a problem. </p>
<p>Again, each kid is different. If he didn't seem interested or had a lot of free time and wasn't actively doing his part that we agreed on, I would have had no problem just handing it all back to him and saying; "Fine, do it yourself". But that wasn't the case. He was motivated. Met every time line I set as far as getting essays done and forms returned from school, teachers, recommendations, etc... I can't penalize him for there only being so many hours in a day. Because of this, we were able to start most of the applications in August. It resulted in acceptance to all 7 schools. 3 early acceptance and the other 4 accepted but doesn't have a separate early acceptance program. With only having to wait on 2 schools for scholarships and grants, it allows my son to make a better informed decision on which school to accept. Plus, the time saved allows us more time to arrange funding for certain schools if he decides to go to any particular school. Again, it all depends on the individual student.</p>
<p>I admit, I'm a helicopter parent. I grew up with parents who had absolutely no involvement in my education etc. Never even saw where I went to college and it was an hour away! I remember doing their tax returns for them because they never would have had them in on time for my FA applications. Life is different now. These kids have a million EC's and are far busier than we were as teenagers. I keep track of deadlines, sent off the checks, proofread etc. My D has got no help from her GC at school. It's overwhelming even as a parent. I can't imagine kids doing it all alone now and trying to keep up grades, study for finals etc. It is also common for kids to apply to 10 or 12 schools. There's a fine line between writing your kid's essays and just keeping them on track for getting things in on time. It's a good opportunity to teach them about deadlines, responsibility etc. So put me in the there's nothing wrong with helping catagory.</p>
<p>Didn't help D much, but helped a friend. He will be a first generation in college, a single mom working overtime who did not really know how to help, and an overloaded GC who for the first two years of HS had him on a tech track because that's what kids who live in the rural part of our area do...... Somehow he spoke up about wanting to be an engineer, and has been playing catch up on courses, etc. While he may end up at cc for 2 years, he will be more than ready when the time comes. Helped him understand what to do, how to write requests for teacher recs, how to do a resume. His essay brought a few tears. This kid belongs in college. ALso helped get him organized for scholarship apps. At least the school puts together a packet to guide these kids. He needs that before anything else. His mom lives paycheck to paycheck, put I am afraid her overtime for Nov and Dec will come back to bite her at FAFSA time. It will be rewarding to see the results.</p>
<p>guilty here of doing the factual work for Common App. Yes, the application does ask for information that my kids would not know. Once I completed the factual stuff, daughter would fill in her essay/short answer stuff and submit it. She never showed me the finalized application, although I could go in and read it had I wanted to.</p>
<p>When my kids applied to colleges, I addressed envelopes and did other such meaningless paperwork. I see no problem with that.</p>
<p>I also proofread and made editorial suggestions on both my kids' college applications and on my son's Statement of Purpose for his graduate school applications. This, perhaps, is more questionable, but I edit for a living. It would be hard to not do it. And the tendency is apparently hereditary. One of my kids, who has inherited my editorial pickiness, has proofread many application essays and academic papers for friends. If you're "the person who knows where the commas really belong," you get requests like this.</p>
<p>Also, anyone who is filling out an application within a few days of a deadline (as, unfortunately, most kids do) had better have a proofreader. People don't see their own mistakes in a document that they just typed recently. If the document could sit for a week or two, the errors would jump right out at the author. But if you look at a document too soon, you see what you intended to write, not what you really wrote. Thus, if you can't afford the time to let the document sit, you need to have a second person look at it. This applies to college applications as much as it does to business documents. (Kids don't want to let a document get sent out with the L left out of "public" or the last S omitted from "assess" anymore than adults do.)</p>
<p>It's amazing how many kids don't know where they were born, isn't it? Or where their parents went to college, or even exactly what their parents do for a living.</p>
<p>It really bothers me when ANY student applies to 16 (more or less) schools, whether they desire to go to each of them or not. One student can only go to one school. Period. It skews the whole process for the poor kid who "only" applies to 4 or 5. </p>
<p>2 years ago, my D said her friend applied to 18 schools, I told her it was a legend. No parent would agree to their child applying to that many schools. 5 days later I saw same student, with mother, and found out (from the mother) that, yes, indeed, 18 schools. I must've played a lousy "poker game" because the mother tried hard to justify it all. At an average of $50 per application, that family spent close to $1000. Crazy. In the end the student ended up 2 miles from home!</p>
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There's a fine line between writing your kid's essays and just keeping them on track for getting things in on time.
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<p>I actually think there's a big difference between writing a kid's essays and keeping them on track. (Though I quoted you, nurseratchet, (great name!) I don't mean to imply that you wrote essays, because you didn't say anything like that in your post). I'm sure there are parents out there who are writing essays for college applications and scholarship applications. That's something I definitely feel should be done by students. Personally, I'd like to see students tackle all parts of applications themselves, but I don't see anything wrong with someone else doing the factual work.</p>
<p>
[quote]
It really bothers me when ANY student applies to 16 (more or less) schools, whether they desire to go to each of them or not. One student can only go to one school. Period. It skews the whole process for the poor kid who "only" applies to 4 or 5.
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<p>I don't agree about skewing the process; I believe schools do a good job adjusting their acceptance rates to get the class sizes they want. My niece applied to 15 schools because her family makes too much money to get need-based aid but not enough to send her to the schools she'd really like to go to. Even though she limited her applications to schools that provide a lot of merit aid, the schools that have accepted her so far have given her scholarships that aren't enough to allow her to attend. </p>
<p>A lot of schools have free applications if you apply online. I wouldn't try to guess how much another family spent on college applications just by the number sent out.</p>
<p>To answer the OP's question, I have proofread my son's applications and provided the family information that he needs (he types it in). He also asked my opinion about essay topics--mostly because he just likes to talk about stuff like that, believe it or not. I have nagged about deadlines much less than I thought I would have to. He has been very organized about dealing with the school counselor, teachers, etc.</p>
<p>Why are our kids so busy that they don't have time to fill out their college applications? Something is wrong with this picture. If there are only so many hours in the day, shouldn't something else be put on "pause" so they get this job done? What are we showing our kids? That if you're just too busy, someone else will do the routine, mundane tasks in life for you--balance the checkbook, do the laundry, research the car purchase, do the grocery shopping, find a summer job, send grandma a birthday card? When it comes time to job-hunt in senior year of college, who's going to do the "administrative" work?</p>
<p>And my biggest pet peeve: Students have no business--repeat, no business--applying to 16 colleges just to see if they can get in.</p>
<p>A note to Sunnyflorida: You are a wonderful mentor to your D's friend and great support for his mom. They're lucky to have you in their lives!</p>
<p>A team effort:</p>
<p>SON: Selected colleges, wrote essays, selected EC activities to be listed in common app, asked teachers for recommendations, asked counselor for transcript</p>
<p>ME: Filled in blanks on common app, proofed essays, calendered deadlines, reminded son to finish essays, paid app fees</p>
<p>MY SECRETARY: Collected and organized all app materials, made copies, sent apps to colleges, confirmed receipt</p>
<p>MY WIFE: Worried, fretted</p>
<p>There is nothing ethically wrong in filling out the informational sections of college applications or FAFSA applications IMHO. However that is not to say that I feel it is right for a parent to do this sort of thing. Perhaps the most important thing we do as parents is to help our children to become independent adults. If parents are taking the reins of a child's college application process what other areas of his life are they assisting in??</p>
<p>And of course the $64 question is why didn't they use the Common Application as much as possible? Our son did and only had to fill out 2 application forms, the CommonApp and the one for our instate university. Easy Peasy.</p>
<p>I proofread the applications to make sure nothing was missing and to help fill in any factual information S was not sure of, like financial info, our college info, etc and of course, gave him our credit card info. I read over his essay and made suggestions.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input! I may also point out that the kid doesn't work and doesn't have EC's, just goes to school, hangs out with friends and plays video games. Also, I did have a problem with applying to schools "just to see if he could get in". Obviously, it would have been a major money issue for us, but not for them.</p>