<p>please someone give me an answer</p>
<p>We are doing an observation and interpretation piece for our AP English class.
Please post any improvements to the given observations if possible. Also please educate me about the level of my english.
Thank You</p>
<li><p>Doc Homer is inarguably the most stubborn and obstinate character in Animal Dreams. His inability to listen to others counsel, especially his daughters, supports this fact. This inflexibility of his is the only blemish in his character.</p></li>
<li><p>Loyds character can be at best described as arty. His ability to twist situations becomes evident when Codi comprehends/realizes that he actually left cockfighting not due to her arguments but for his mother whom he doesnt want to antagonize.
mcqdeltat is online now</p></li>
</ol>
<p>ha, do you really need "help" or are you just showing off?
lol jk.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Doc Homer is the most obstinate character in Animal Dreams. His inability to listen to others counsel, especially his daughters’, supports this fact. Inflexibility is his only character flaw.</p></li>
<li><p>Loyd’s character is best described as artful. His ability to twist situations is evident when Codi realizes that he left cockfighting not due to her arguments, as she had assumed, but for the sake of his relationship with his mother.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>(I made some changes. They're simply suggestions. I didn't toy around too much...but if these are meant as stand-alone paragraphs, meaning they're not parts of larger paragraphs/essays, they are a little redundant. For example, what's the point of the 3rd sentence in the first one?)</p>
<p>I'm not boasting. If you seriously consider that the level of english a junior should have the you are seriously mistaken.</p>
<p>lol i love how you skipped over my entire post</p>
<p>jimbob thanks for your suggestions. Well, i know that they are redundant but my teacher asked us to write 3 line observations.</p>
<p>oh i see, dont worry about it haha</p>
<ol>
<li> Hallie is both humble and modest. Even after contributing much to her surroundings she still doesn’t boast or take pride in what she’s done till now indicating that she may have low self esteem.</li>
</ol>
<p>this sentence seems beyond improvement/ any suggestions will be jocundly accepted</p>
<p>I don't know what the point of this "observation and interpretation" exercise is, so take this as you will.</p>
<p>I might not be the best judge, but your English seems very good relative to your peers. Just a few very minor notes:
1.
a. "Stubborn" and "obstinate" are nearly synonymous. Pick one.
b. "others*'* counsel" (Actually, I would drop the word "others" since you could hardly be talking about his own counsel.)
c. A fact doesn't need support. I would say "supports this claim".
d. Omit "of his". I would also make this less wordy by replacing "blemish in his character" with something like "fault".
e. Should you add something to explicate this final sentence? A few words about the other aspects of his character?</p>
<ol>
<li>
a. I don't see what being arty has to do with the second sentence. Do you mean artful, as in cunning?
b. What do you mean "at best"? This implies there are worse ways to describe him, or that you're being very generous by describing him this way instead of as, say, deceitful or something. Do you mean that, or do you mean this is the best way to describe him ("can be best described as")?
c. Just use "realizes".
d. "Antagonize" is too fancy a word here.<br>
e. How does this demonstrate his ability to twist situations? Did he make her think that he left cockfighting because of her arguments?</li>
</ol>
<p>I don't agree that they are redundant. The point of the third sentence of the first one is that he is otherwise of excellent character.</p>
<p>Thank You Mrs. Ferguson</p>
<p>hehe its good to see that mrs ferguson and i agreed on ALMOST everything :)</p>
<p>Hallie is both humble and modest. Even after contributing much to her surroundings she still doesn’t boast or take pride in what she’s done till now which may indicate that she may have low self esteem.</p>
<p>Humble and modest are the same thing basically.
Try to give an example--something she has contributed to her "surroundings"?
Having low self esteem is different from being humble/modest. Pick a better word.
Remove till now.
"May indicate that she may have low self esteem"...just say "indicates low self esteem."</p>