<p>S will be attending college that is an 8 hour drive from home. We have visited twice. June 30 there is an orientation program. They actually have sessions for parents so I am going. We will go back at the end of August to officially take S to school. Gotta go for that, right? Then on Sept 24/25 is a family weekend. Do I have to go to that too? It wouldn't really be an issue except there is a conflict that weekend.</p>
<p>I think all of these things are fun, right through the end of freshman year, by which time you are an old hand. :)<br>
Family weekend is a fun event, wherein you get to sit in on your kid's actual classes, meet his real teachers, his roomate,his friends, have lunch in his dining hall, take in a soccer game if desired, etc., and generally reassure yourself that all is well. I'd juggle my schedule to attend, if possible. If not, I wouldn't lose sleep over it. The drop-off in August is the "delivery room" event that you'll always remember. And once you've dropped him off, with all his stuff, you can travel more lightly, and fly, if possible!</p>
<p>You already know that you can see your son at anytime. Even though our parent's weekend wasn't until may, what I found that they are over programmed, crowded and you are not really spending any quitet quality time with your child. Since the 24/25th is actually a saturday sunday there will be no sitting in on classes.</p>
<p>If he already knows that there is going to be a conflict with family weekend, maybe you can go the following weekend or the weekend of oct 8 (if you are off for Columbus day you can have a nice 3 day weekend). Things will be a bit more relaxed, and you can also take son and roommate out for a nice dinner.</p>
<p>My D attended (just graduated) college nearly across the country (NY to Az).We went for a music audition/tour in Feb of senior year ..1 parent.Accepted student orientation May..other parent.Move in late Aug..both parents..first parenet weekend freshman year..both parents plus younger brother. We easily could have skipped that..they combine it with football to get parents to attend but its weird cause you feel like you were just there a few weeks before. I would go on a different time period if you feel you must "see" how your kid is adjusting.Really,all they want you for by then is free meals and shopping!
In the subsequent years we went to move in soph year,combined with vacation out West,move in junior year (off campus apt) also combined with vacation..she moved herself senior year (into a shared house,sent us pics over the internet), met her in Vegas to celebrate her 21st birthday and then went to graduation this past May.</p>
<p>My parents as a rule never attend parents' weekend. They will visit if we want them to, but never on parents weekend.</p>
<p>Well, sybbie and cathy make good points. Our D's first family weekend (at Williams, the freshman family weekend is the only one they make a big deal of) was in late October, which gave her a good bit more time to get settled in, and happened to be near peak foliage time in New England. It was great fun for us. I enjoyed the "new parents" stuff, but it was a full two months after drop-off, which makes a difference on both sides. Other than that particular weekend--which I really liked--I totally agree with the idea of scheduling visits when there aren't any other distracting events that fill up the campus, town, hotels, and restaurants.</p>
<p>The good part about parents weekend is that we got to meet all my S's close friends and their parents. The kids on his floor planned a dinner where all parents and students came and ate, hung out and got to know each other. We also got to meet my S's girlfried's mom and go out for coffee etc with them. Now when my S goes to visit friends or goes somewhere with their families, I at least have a mental picture of everyone. Some of the structured events were helpful but the best part was connecting with the people who are now important in his life. We took the kids who had no parents around out to dinner and to different events with us so they were still a part of everything but most freshman parents do come. If you can't it is fine of course but I personally thought it was fun My husband however thought that we did not have enough alone time with my son. This is a LAC however so I don't know if larger schools are somewhat different.</p>
<p>I'd say it depends alot on the school & the kid. At Pitt, where our DS1 attended, they combined it with a football game & there were really no other scheduled parent/student activities. We went, but it seemed pretty unnecessary, since alot of parents skipped it, & DS1 really didn't care if we came or not. At UVA, our DD's school, it is not a football weekend, & there are dozens of parent/student activities to choose from. In addition, almost all parents attended (with the exception of internationals) & it would have been heartbreaking for her if we hadn't been there. The concerts, talks, etc. that were offered were entertaining, & we got to meet most of the kids she hung out with as well as their families.</p>
<p>NJRes - you don't HAVE to go for any of those things. Parent orientation sessions are a courtesy for parents who want to be there -- not an obligation. The college doesn't care if you show up - they just are trying to arrange something to keep you happy and out of the way while your son is attending his separate, student-only orientation sessions. </p>
<p>So .. go if you want to.... but its not like elementary school where missing parent-teacher conferences and events is seen as a negative reflection on your parenting skills.</p>