How Much Are You Driving Your Child Decision?

Parents Forum
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How much are you driving your child decision on college selection? My son has applied to a number of schools - in both the South and Northeast, and now has a number of acceptances in both areas. We are Floridians and he really wants to go to school in the Northeast to experience a change of seasons- however, I really don’t think he knows what he is in for!

He wants to study Broadcast Journalism and at this time Hofstra is his top choice (we are still waiting on Syracuse) - he has gotten in but it will be 36k a year after aid. He also gotten into other public schools in Florida- FAU, UNF and UCF (still waiting on USF but that is a reach) . All of these options will be less than 2k a year!
As someone who had a private liberal arts education, I want to support him and give him that experience of a smaller campus environment but wow- this is just such a difference! These schools may not have the best or most prestigious name, but we had good experiences at UNF and FAU and I do think my son could be happy at either. UCF was too big and too close to home, so I do think that is out.

My son is an average student. He is a good athlete and has a dynamic personality, but can be lazy and lacks a lot of motivation when it comes to school, at times. While my husband and I are working on it, I do worry about his ability to be successful away from home. Given this, I really do worry about making a large financial investment with so many risks (I know this sounds harsh when talking about your child but just being realistic). While we could potentially swing Hofstra, it would take us making some significant cuts to our family lifestyle (and possibly some loans down for the later years). I just don’t know that I can justify this given the cost of some of his other options. We have tried to explain this to him and understands, but still keeps wanting to go towards Hofstra.
As parents how much of the decision are you making- especially if it is your finances? Do I kill a dream for him right now even though I do think it’s the best decision for him and our family?

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Did you run the NPC on Hofstra before letting him apply? IMO, I don’t know if Hofstra is worth paying a lot more than the choices he has in his home state. That’s a huge difference in total outlay over four years. Making significant lifestyle changes and taking out loans doesn’t seem like a good idea. If you could comfortably afford it I might feel differently. That doesn’t seem to be the case.

It’s always best to have these financial conversations before letting a student apply. NPC’s are pretty accurate for the most part. Perhaps run the NPC on Syracuse before that decision comes. We told our son at the outset that if he didn’t get merit at Syracuse, we wouldn’t fund it. He got no merit, so it was immediately off the table.

There have been many debates on CC over the years about this topic: is it worth the cost to fund an expensive private college when the student has much more affordable options. The answer isn’t satisfying, because it really does depend on family finances and a host of other factors. If you were talking about Harvard over Hofstra, some might argue it’s worth it. Another school of thought is that a student can ensure a successful future at almost any college. It’s all about the student taking advantage of resources and making an effort to do well. There is no one answer. However, making significant lifestyle alterations seems a compelling reason to attend a public in your state.

EDIT: I wouldn’t worry too much about the weather. Kids adjust.

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Did you set an annual college budget with this student before he applied?

Hofstra is a fine enough college for some students. I personally would not pay a huge amount there for a degree in broadcast journalism. But that’s my opinion. So…why Hofstra? I guess I’m curious why this student wants Hofstra.

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It was his campus visit- he attended a Communication school open house. He was the only student!!! He spent 3 hours with the Dean i their TV studio which was recently donated from the NY ABC station. It was a pretty impressive setup and he did have a wonderful day. He and the Dean have been in contact and he really fell in love the the entire program. I also think he likes the idea of being close to NYC for internship opportunity, but not in the city.

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Go to UNF, save $ for journalism internships in NY or elsewhere.

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Just a guess, but with Florida’s growing population, journalism opportunities might be far greater there than in highly competitive and shrinking NY.

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For that kind of price difference, and for a student who hasn’t been super hard working to date, I say go to a FL school. Save the $$$ and entice it with a semester abroad or summer abroad. Or even two summers abroad! He has the rest of his life to live where he wants

We had more say with where they applied vs where they chose. Both kids had a pot of $$$ that would cover 3-3.5 years of in-state public u. We committed to paying for the rest of a public u cost. But, if they could get through school with less, the rest was theirs. Older S had quite a bit left over, though he spent a good chunk on frat stuff. Younger S should have even more leftover.

But that being said, I know older S was disappointed he couldn’t go to Duke. He got a big need based scholarship, but he would have eaten up all his $$$ and more. He went to a very good LAC that gave him free tuition and thrived.

Younger S only applied to public uni’s. 3 instate and clemson. Clemson tugged at his heartstrings by giving him a merit scholarship, but it was still slightly more than the instate options. And he really liked clemson because of the football. Not a great reason and he knew that. For him it came down to the prestigious flagship U where several of his friends were going, or another one that had a major he loved and loved the vibe - and would save him over $50K over 4 years. He chose the latter. We didn’t pressure him to do so, but we’re very happy he did!

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It sounds like you have a very level headed picture of your kiddo and the situation. We are on kid number three and I can say that what we have learned each time is that 1) they are not adult enough yet to know what money means and 2) you have a LONG time after they are gone to feel the repercussions of spending more than you budgeted for. We are struggling with a similar question for our last kiddo when looking between two colleges that have a $7000 difference in cost for our out of pocket, with the less expensive being one we can safely pay for and the other just beyond our comfort zone, but still within the dollar cap we set when she applied to colleges. They are equal colleges for curriculum, type and value so we sat our child down and laid out how we would pay, what we would pay and what that looks like over four years. We also have the hindsight to know that paying for things doesn’t end with college and could point out that not over spending now means that we are in a position to assist with other things (vehicles, travel, emergencies etc) in college and after. It is simple math and to a 17 or 18 year old $7,000 (or in your case, $30,000 compared to $2,000) doesn’t seem like much but in the context of a conversation about the long haul and all the things they don’t think about, you have the chance to have a solid conversation. So, don’t feel bad for being the adult in the conversation and lead by a good example and demonstrate how to make good financial decisions.

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This kid doesn’t need to go abroad. Getting summer internships with someone in the field of broadcast journalism should be the goal…if that is what he wants to do.

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For a career in Broadcast Journalism, he’s looking at low/no paid internships and lower paid entry level work to get his career started. Plus possible location moves. Don’t overlook career set up costs, which the savings of in-state could go towards supporting.

And NY area is expensive plus transport from FL - added to the higher tuition of Hofstra.

We had a set budget and eldest’s options ranged from way below it to just pushing the top end. What we realised is that there are lots of costs on top of tuition, room, board, fees, transport, books, incidentals. Spring break travel. Greek Life. Needing a work wardrobe for internships. Study abroad. etc etc etc. Having spare change to allow this has meant she has been able to take other opportunities which she might not have been able to if she had maxed the budget on the basics.

Perhaps lay this out to him: what you won’t be able pay for if you spring for Hofstra. AND contact instate schools’ departments and set up similar sessions to the ones at Hofstra if you haven’t already!

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My opinion is that if your 18 yo is not going to be adult about his choices, and that includes finances, then the adults have to step in. Every family has a different financial situation, so i am hesitant to speak for any but our own. There are certain colleges that I have told S2 are out because they are unaffordable, and that we will not pay for. Others are great “bargains” , i.e. State flagship, some Canadian schools that we strongly encouraged him to apply to. Others are more expensive, but justifiable (Purdue and Cal Poly, in our case). Others we allowed him to apply to, but are right at the edge of being too much. Depending on the admission package, we might end up telling him that we won’t pay for it.
We are very, very lucky that both our sons are unfussy types who tend to pay attention to the value of a dollar. I guess that’s what happens when you cross a Chinese, and a Geordie.

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I have a BJ degree from Newhouse at the Cuse. Back in the day, they made you have a 2nd major. The reason…most don’t, won’t make it in broadcasting and you needed to have a back up. It’s more what you look or sound like. Today the landscape is different. Everyone has a cell phone and they can practice their reporting, broadcasting or sportscasting using the phone. There’s podcasts and more so the opportunities will be better. On the other havd, long form journalists are in trouble.

Honestly but this was 30 years ago. The education at the Cuse was not good because so many are in the major that we had one pure broadcast course in four years. One time you were news. Once weather. Once sports. Yes they put out a ton of pros. But it’s a small percentage based on # of students.

My friend had to drop out due to money…her parents sold the house and moved into a trailer. That lasted two years. The money ran out. She ended up at U of Montana. I visited her. She had 20 in her class. She said all 20 got jobs. Today, 30 years later, shes a news director. Most of my classmates went to law school or became stock brokers. Yea we had a few big ones I still see on tv.

The point of this ramble…the major will not have good outcomes overall. So cost should matter, especially if it will impact YOUR life.

However, some kids do excel away from home with independence. I was one. And there is something to be said for having a relationship with a connected faculty. So perhaps the expense in this case would be worth it…if your son develops that relationship further.

I would ask each school for the outcomes of their grads. Internships and most importantly on-air positions because internships will be production based so if he wants to be on air, that’s the most important outcomes.

If broadcasting is the dream and it’s that important to you, and if Hofstra is superior in outcomes to UNF and I suspect it will be as it’s got a well reputed journalism program….well perhaps it is worth the investment…especially because he’ll have a strong rapport with the dean who is likely connected.

Having to change your lifestyle though for a student who has not performed and for a bj degree (vs something more assured such as accounting or engineering) that is something to cause pause.

No easy decision here. Good luck.

Edit: look at bios of your favorite broadcast professionals. Many have non- communication degrees. Get involved with college radio and tv no matter your major if that’s a career goal.

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There are exchange programs where he could do a year at another school too (like study abroad, but stay in the US). It is offered at FIU. https://nse.org/

Have to say this wouldn’t have been a hard decision for me. My kids both wanted to go to school in California (we were living near Jacksonville) and I asked them how they were going to pay for it. They had a budget of the cost of a Florida public (about $15k per year at the time). One went to Florida Tech for much less, one went to Wyoming for under that budget.

The cost difference is much too large to justify Hofstra. I don’t think it would be a red carpet into TV news in NY or even if he returned to Florida. If he wants to experience snow (gee, there was snow in Florida this year), send him to NYC for a weekend snow storm and he’ll see how much fun it ISN’T. The first snowstorm is fun, the next 6 aren’t.

Jacksonville has a unique news media set up. When we lived there, some of the networks shared news facilities (I think it was CBS and ABC). Same news on 2 stations. Weather was more important than sports (for obvious reasons, Jaguars!). To me, it seemed like a big opportunity for growth if either station decided to break off. It is also pretty close to Orlando stations, the stations along the coast (Treasure Coast, Space Coast) and even SE Georgia.
Save the money for grad school if he still wants NYC.

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We may be faced with a similar decision. State flagship will likely be her least expensive option. It may end up being her first choice but things might be tricky if she gets into some of her RD reach colleges. We’re prepared to pay the higher cost but it is difficult to turn down a very good and less expensive option.

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I’m from NY and have relatives in FL. I wouldn’t pay that much for Hofstra when there are good schools in FL that are so much more affordable. If your son wants to experience NY winters let him go skiing over winter break. He’ll still get a great education and you’ll save $30,000/year. Some of that might come in handy if he wants to go to grad school.

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I am going to approach this from a different direction, and I don’t mean to come off as being unkind or rude.

Why is this an issue NOW? Is it the money? Is it concern for the distance from home? Is it a question about his motivation and dedication to his studies? All of those things were exactly the same before he made his list of schools for applications. If they were dealbreakers, or serious concerns, they should have been addressed then. I can sympathize with facing the realities of his applications but in all honesty, someone allowed a trip to NY for a campus visit.

In answer to your question about driving the decision, we offered guidance going into the applications. Potential locations, budget, academics all came into play before applying. That way, she could make her decision with input she solicited not because we were changing the criteria.

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We had a conversation about how much we would be willing to pay before the applications were submitted. He could apply to any school he wanted, but if the offer was above what we discussed, it was off the table.

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That is a big difference in costs and your concerns are valid. Sometimes those habits improve, but usually not until after some heartache. Let him get over that hurdle in the most cost effective way possible.

There are exchange programs within the US that he could look into and there are definitely internships he could do in the northeast.

It is great that the dean kept in touch…but that did not equate to any merit or other aid. It is so hard.

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If you do keep considering Hofstra (and I’m not saying you should), at least contact them to let them know the cost is a bit steep for you compared to his other option(s). They might come up with more in aid - or they might not - but it’s worth asking. I seriously doubt they will get anywhere close to 2K though, so don’t get hopes up for that. Your son can also let the dean know it’s simply too expensive for you in case he has any pull.

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When your son first started researching colleges, what did you discuss with him as to rules/constraints about the search and what you would pay for? Were there conditions on increased studiousness, or higher grades, or major, or cost? Did you run the NFCs on the schools’ websites?

When your family visited Hofstra, did you realize how much it cost? Did you have any conversations with him about what the cost would need to be for him to attend? If these conversation were held ahead of time, does Hofstra at $36k meet the constraints/restrictions your family set?

The price differential between Hofstra and the Florida financial institutions is huge. If you won’t be able to pay for Hofstra without taking out loans, then have you discussed your son needing to work to make up the difference so that loans are not taken? Have you talked about extras that would be available if he attended a Florida institution that wouldn’t be available if he chose Hofstra (i.e. spending money, subsidizing unpaid/low-paid internships, studying abroad, Greek life, etc)? If a college education can be obtained without loans, that’s always the path I would recommend. But if Hofstra fell into the restrictions that your family discussed at the beginning of the college search, I would try and convince him through logic, but I would not make it about his field of study not being sufficiently lucrative to deserve the extra funding.

Unless there has been a significant change in your family’s life/finances since the research process started, I would do my absolute best to have your son make the decision amongst the universities that met the restrictions you set.

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