<p>I was just wondering how much information you have on how your college kids are doing during the semester. When we talk to our S he says things are "going well" but he doesn't give details and so far we haven't pushed for any. We did have issues during HS with him saying he is doing fine and then seeing bad grades on mid-term progress reports which usually were straightened out by the time grades were actually posted.</p>
<p>I've been of the mind that now that he's in college it's up to him to work out any issues and that knowing specifics would only drive us to get more involved than we should. Guess time will tell on that approach but it does at least make for less conflict...</p>
<p>My sophomore son doesn’t talk to me about homework that much but he does text me with his (very good) test results. If they were bad, maybe he wouldn’t text me.</p>
<p>I don’t know anything official, but we often discuss grades as part of the weekly conversation. He tells us when things are less than fine. We have access to the official grades too, but they are only posted at the end of the semester.</p>
<p>We have access to the grades, but are debating whether to check. We also just ask how it is going when we chat once a week. In the past, he was never forthcoming in HS, so don’t expect much to change.</p>
<p>He knows what is required of him and what he needs to do. If we ask, he will just tell us that he understands what he needs to do, and we don’t need to keep telling him.</p>
<p>Obviously if we find out he is failing we will have to intervene, since we are paying.</p>
<p>My son had a very rough time last semester (spring, freshman) due to a number of mental health, financial, and legal concerns. Thoughout it all, he gave “fine” and “good” in response to questions about his grades. In truth, his grades tanked and he barely eeked out 11 successful credits. </p>
<p>As a result, we are “on him” this semester. So far, so good. Midterms are this week and I intend to see all the results. If this semester is good, then we’ll probably back off for the upcoming spring. But, that remains to be seen since all his troubles appeared last spring and we don’t really know if there’s a seasonal factor to them. So, who knows? </p>
<p>I figure if I am paying I should have access to her grades. She is doing ok as a freshman, getting used to the whole college exam process. It has always taken her a little bit of time to get used to how a teacher tests. But it is all going well so far.</p>
<p>More than I thought I would. She talks about the challenging classes far more than the not-so-challenging. She’s in a weeder, so we talk a lot about that one particular class. There’s one she never mentions at all.</p>
<p>Only what she tells me. Homework–to complain about an onerous assignment or to gush over an interesting one. Tests–excited texts if things went well; a call if a test didn’t go as well as hoped for.</p>
<p>At this stage, I’m out of the “feeling responsibility for homework and test” business. I have interest, but don’t feel as invested as during the high school years.</p>
<p>No access to student’s grades. I didn’t really pay much attention in high school either and I did have access. Both the boys will once in a while mention a specific test (that they did well or one they did not do well) or random comments. Generally mid-term H or I will ask “how are you doing gradewise this semester” and we generally get some sort of response ranging from really great to blah blah blah class is a struggle or the all purpose “fine.” The kids know that they need(ed) a B to stay in their major (and both “chose” their own major) and they know that if they can’t(couldn’t) muster a C average they aren’t staying at that particular college on our dime anyway. College is for them, not for me…I already did college so I don’t care to get caught up vicariously in the day to day of their college experience and I don’t want them to come home and they don’t want to come home so it works out well for everyone.</p>
<p>We don’t have (and don’t want) access to DS’s grades. His grades, his responsibilities. He knows what we expect, and since we’re footing the bill, he knows the consequences if he fails! That said, he had a good freshman year and has always been a pretty responsible kid.</p>
<p>My D is very open, so I hear every (sometimes excruciating) detail. But that’s just her personality. We do have access to her official grades, but see no reason to use it.</p>
<p>None…except that we do get his final grade report, which is well after the end of the semester. He’s pretty self-sufficient in this area and we’re letting him deal with it. Now, if he got a really bad final grade(s) we’d discuss, but as it related to going forward. He’s only a sophomore, but it seemed to work fine this way last year.</p>
<p>We always knew D1´s tests (before and after) in college. She was very open about her grades with us. Even this past summer when she was in job training and she was taking an exam every Fri, she told us about her grades. Few times when she was struggling, I did suggest to her on how to do better, but most of the time she just wanted to vent.</p>
<p>There was one time when she received an F on her final grade (I posted few years back), I helped her to smooth it over, and it turned out not to have any impact on her GPA.</p>
<p>S1 doesn’t give much detail. Said he got an A on one test last week and that his biology class is lame. We don’t request to see any grades during the semester but do require him to show us grades electronically once the semester is over.</p>
<p>We heard noting about grades or homework for S1. When he was home during the holidays he would want to talk about topics that were way over our heads (engineering major). After he graduated we happened to see his transcript since a copy arrived with his diploma (and he asked us to open the envelope to make sure his name was spelled correctly). DH was surprised to see a smattering of Cs, but his final GPA was pretty good for an AE major and he finished within the four years allotted so we were all satisfied.</p>
<p>When asked, S2 does grunt out a “fine” when asked how it’s going and again, we do not have access nor ask about specific grades. He also knows that he has a fixed amount of (our) money to spend on college and if he needs to repeat any courses due to poor grades, it will be on his nickel. He’s eyeing grad school, and understands that GPA will factor in, so I’m confident that he’ll do whatever it takes. Like momofthreeboys above, I feel like I’ve been there and done that and do not need to follow along as closely as we did when they were younger. We know that we are fortunate to have kids for whom the “hands-off” approach works.</p>
<p>We do not know anything - by mutual agreement. DS has occasionally mentioned a paper but that’s it. Find it very liberating and relaxing to have removed grades/performance from our conversations. That said, DS knows we will support him financially thru undergrad only and that he will have to get loans or scholarships for further study - likely in his major. So he does have that incentive:)</p>
<p>We only find out about HW when it is an unusually major piece of work or when he is generally stressing out and wants to blow off steam. </p>
<p>As for progress grades - nothing. Don’t ask, occasionally will find out about one when he brings it up</p>
<p>Semester grades - his business - we don’t ask but he usually shares without asking. He is talking with me about grad school so I have a general idea of his GPA - but prior to this, didn’t know that either…</p>
<p>My attitude is that it isn’t high school anymore. I’ll gladly celebrate successes with him - and commiserate when that is appropriate as well - but on his terms. Of course, if school doesn’t want him back, then that is another discussion!!!</p>
<p>Whatever they wanted to tell us, nothing more than that. I don’t know if we had access to their grades. If we did, we never used it. We would get congratulatory letters if they were on Dean’s List, which happened sometimes and didn’t happen other times. As for homework and midterms, sometimes we heard but usually we didn’t. We were more likely to hear something if it was very good or very bad.</p>
<p>I now remember I had to ask them for their GPAs once a year to get auto insurance discounts.</p>
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