<p>My brother made sure my mother understood that if she wanted to remain in her home, she needed to cooperate with the help! Brother lived very close and they had a good relationship; mom knew that she needed to cooperate or get moved to where she did not want to be. Bringing in help is more cost-effective, but again as other posters commented, resistance on paying for ‘outsiders’ and letting things (like maintenance) go and therefore builds up a mess. </p>
<p>Mom got a little Yorkie (never had been a pet owner) - originally intended for granddau, but spent more time with mom and became her dog (also had my father’s nickname). Yorkie ruined an expensive Persian rug (excited and peed, never trained), but worth it due to the happiness he gave mom.</p>
<p>LTC insurance - buy when younger and healthy. If insurance is super stable, it will be around. I like to minimize risks, and want to age in place if possible at home. Financial planner was impressed with my low premiums for quality LTC insurance.</p>
<p>Life ins advice from my financial planner - better to be on the two ends of the spectrum, with one end term life ins. We have some solid policies on both ends - have the last payments in the next year or so on policies with enough cash value to pay premiums out of dividends. The paid up policies and the term ins have the benefit of no taxes to beneficiaries. I have a lot of term ins on my H (only breadwinner at present). Due to my cancer, policies in place are enough to pay off house and then some, plus my retirement money would also be all his (and beneficiaries). Paying a bit more for maybe more insurance than ‘necessary’ gives me peace of mind.</p>
<p>We made sure MIL understood that she needed to cooperate with those helping with her too, but she still did not. Not a surprise. She never cooperated much with anyone in her life. So she paid dearly. I think she would have still ended up here, but she would have gotten a few more years at her house, which for all I know might have stalled her mental deterioration. If she’d done as she was advised in a lot of areas, she could have spared herself a lot of pain and suffering she underwent as well as being ripped away from her home. When you leave knees that have been shot for 20 years go, when something else goes, you can become a quadraplegic and have fewer options. She had to undergo 3 major surgeries in less than 7 months plus rehab for them and was stuck in a nursing home until she gained enough movement and facility to be taken out. That really ended independent living for her. </p>
<p>What LTC policies are out there that are decent? Like others who have so commented, the ones I’ve seen are not so hot. My friend’s mother has one, and to collect on it requires a lot more disability than she has and hopes to have. The max amount only puts a dent in nursing home expenses if she goes there and I don’t know what that does with Medicaid eligibility. Around here the better homes are $12K a month on average. The $2K that her insurance max is, hardly makes a dent in that, certainly not a deal changer, so she’ll have to divest herself of all of her assets to become Medicaid eligible, something they are doing right now. </p>
I seem to recall someone suggesting they had a term policy to cover the tax implication of their money after their death. Not sure I’d do that-- better to set up a trust or something.</p>
<p>“I seem to recall someone suggesting they had a term policy to cover the tax implication of their money after their death. Not sure I’d do that-- better to set up a trust or something.”</p>
<p>But does a trust actually protect the estate from taxes? One good thing about a life insurance policy, aren’t the proceeds tax free, and don’t make up part of the estate? For example, say your state taxes massively on estates over 5 million. You have a 1 million dollar life insurance policy, which would not add onto the total value of the estate. It seems like if you can get reasonably cheap life insurance, it would be worth having, since it won’t be taxed at all. Right or wrong? It’s an easy choice for us now, because our company provides the life insurance, though we get taxed on the cost of it, as a benefit. Probably not worth paying big bucks on a policy when you’re 70.</p>
<p>I suspect that since many, many wont have even close to having that much saved (or in pension worth) a whole bunch of folks will either work as long as they can or share housing with others.</p>
<p>As mentioned above, moving in with adult children is often not an option, so I wonder if in the future, more seniors (singles/widows) will choose to find housemates and share housing and all the associated costs (utilities, cable, internet, maintenance, etc). Or maybe there will be an increase in non-assisted-living senior housing with very small units that pay into an HOA-like program that provides internet, cable, water, etc to the complex.</p>
<p>“As mentioned above, moving in with adult children is often not an option, so I wonder if in the future, more seniors (singles/widows) will choose to find housemates and share housing and all the associated costs (utilities, cable, internet, maintenance, etc). Or maybe there will be an increase in non-assisted-living senior housing with very small units that pay into an HOA-like program that provides internet, cable, water, etc to the complex.”</p>
<p>I think those would be very reasonable options. I wonder how many people do that.</p>
<p>@busdriver11 - If the decedent owned the life insurance policy (usually the case), then the life insurance proceeds are part of that person’s estate for estate tax purposes. </p>
<p>The life insurance policy would either have to be owned by someone else or would have to be in an irrevocable life insurance trust to avoid having the life insurance proceeds being included in the decedent’s estate for estate tax purposes.</p>
<p>They are doing exactly this in Oregon. The program is supposedly successful. One group of three women is doing so well that they are considering a second home together in Florida.</p>
<p>busdriver, from what I understand life insurance proceed is added to your estate for estate tax purpose. It is good to have for liquidity.</p>
<p>Around where we live, the better nursing homes don’t take any Medicaid (Medical) patients because the reimbursements are so low.
My H who is a physician and has made rounds on many patients in nursing homes has not seen a nursing home that he would put his parents in unless the patients have total dementia and would not be cognizant of the kind of environment they are in.
I have told my kids that my money is to be spent on me. I don’t care if my kids receive no inheritance because I’ve given them everything they needed and they agree.</p>
<p>@dadinator, I think in our case, since everything goes to the trust, which then pays everything out…I don’t think that it is included in the estate. I need to clarify this with our lawyer, because I think that was the purpose of the trust.</p>
<p><<<
They are doing exactly this in Oregon. The program is supposedly successful. One group of three women is doing so well that they are considering a second home together in Florida.
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<p>I could see single story condo/duplex/garden-home complexes going up with units with multiple master BRs plus guest bathrooms, small kitchens, living rooms, and inside laundry with small patios where singles could live like the Golden Girls. Sharing costs like utilities, cable, internet, etc, could substantially cut down housing costs. </p>
<p>the communities could have a clubhouse for group socializing.</p>
<p>Even with a healthy savings, that doesn’t mean that I might not be a widow. I’d love to live the The Golden Girls if it came to that. The thought of being alone is sad…I’d much rather be living with others, having roomies.</p>
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I’d love to live [like] the The Golden Girls if it came to that. The thought of being alone is sad…I’d much rather be living with others, having roomies.
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<p>me too. Or at least live in a senior complex where there was an active clubhouse for socializing.</p>
<p>An older more-affluent widowed-cousin has a widowed-SIL that wasn’t left well-situated like our cousin was. The poorer SIL has SS and a very small pension, but they treasure each other’s company and love to travel together. So, our cousin rents a bedroom to her SIL for a modest price (probably enough to cover half utilities), so that they both can be active and travel together. (her SIL is her brother’s widow, so she probably feels good about providing this win/win option)</p>
<p>There’s being alone and being lonely. Lonely is bad, alone is not if one has opportunities to connect with others, as mom2collegekids suggests. One could find that in a retirement complex or just living in a city where it’s hard to avoid other people.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think I am the only person on this site who is alone (but not lonely:) ) at this stage of life. Are there really no other divorced/widowed people here? It certainly changes the whole equation on retirement.</p>
<p>There was an article on MSN recently about this. I meant to click on it to read it, but didn’t get around to it, then it was gone. I could probably find it if I tried.</p>
<p>dadinator is right about life insurance proceeds. If the trust “owns” the policy, then the proceeds are not included in the taxable estate. To own the policy, among other things, it usually means that the trust has to write the checks for the premium(s). It also means that the insured gives up the right (or never had it) to change beneficiaries and other things that are incidences of ownership. </p>
<p>Right now this doesn’t matter much if you are under the $5mm or so estate tax exemption. But there are a lot of people around who believe that should be lowered dramatically (usually to a dollar more than they think they will have when they die.) So no telling what might be taxable in the future. </p>