<p>My mom took out a reverse mortgage probably with the thought that now she’d never have to go into a nursing home, lol. She wants to live in her house until she dies, and if that means someone needs to live in to provide care (at my Dh’s expense, as she has nothing) then so be it. It wasn’t what I wanted for her at all, but it’s not our decision to make. I had hoped she’d sell and move into something closer to us, as now she’s hours away, although it would have to be smaller. And that’s the catch. Her home is five bedrooms for herself, alone, and the idea of moving into a smaller place was anathema to her.
It’s ok right now, but when she’s sick and I have to drive back and forth to care for her as I’ve done in the past, it’s really hard.</p>
<p>I think we have the same mom, Gertrude.<br>
The funny thing is, she may have to live with us at some point, and Dh and I plan to move to a smaller place when he retires in three to five years. So instead of having her own small place, she’ll probably have to stay with us. If she thinks we’re going to hire someone to give her expensive live-in care when she’s disabled in her five bedroom mini-manse when she can move in with us instead, she’s sorely mistaken.</p>
<p>Believe me, the millennials do not have a monopoly on the entitlement mentality.</p>
<p>@moonchild - maybe they were separated at birth! My mother has 3 bedrooms, plus an office and a 3-car garage for her alone - lol. Well, her and the two dogs that she paid over $1000 each for after falling in love with them at the pet store in the mall. Really, she’s a smart lady in most areas of her life, but so very bad with money.</p>
<p>Tomorrow is H’s last official day! He has been in the same office for 30 years. He will work 9.5 days a month or 28.5 days over a 3 month period for a few years. But he will be filling in for others and no longer have 1800 patients on his panel.</p>
<p>We have to decide in a week whether to take his pension in an annuity or lump sum. It is making me anxious.
I just see our expenses going up as now we will pay for Medicare and some for our health insurance. That said it is fabulous coverage so cannot complain.</p>
<p>I think we will eventually move to a smaller house. I would be willing to move to a smaller city but H cannot see it.
He wants to move to a Condo in one of the really fun areas here. They are all so expensive and I cannot see how we would have space for new hobbies (I want to do glass fusion and get a kiln) and for the kids when they visit. </p>
<p>The one regret I have is that we did not do some things over the past few years, such as buying a new coach for the TV room (which I hurried and did and it arrived today and is gorgeous!) or repairing the dry wall in the garage and such. Now it will be harder to justify such expenses. Plus we are planning to travel so there is that.</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone for sharing your amazing wisdom and experience. I’ve learned a colossal amount of new things to consider that we hadn’t thought of before! You are all really terrific!! Thank you!</p>
<p>I’ve read the entire thread over the course of the last two weeks. Many posters mention downsizing their home. I have a general question about that:</p>
<p>Our older home has lots of steps/stairs. We may have to consider moving due to job migration. We both have aging parents. They will soon not be able to do steps, not even the front porch step; actually they are at that point now. We also have the busykids, some on their own, some still in school. </p>
<p>Does it ever make sense to move, without downsizing, but rather thinking about the potential of caring for aging parents in our home, and the potential of grown children visiting/staying? This seems like a growth in expense, not a place to be able to say housing costs will decrease. When everyone is here for the holidays, it is really crowded. And there aren’t even grandbusykids either. I think the ideal next house would have one or two first level bedrooms with attached full shower/bathroom. As someone said upthread, ideally 36" doorways, and probably more accessible type shower. I think we’d need a larger kitchen or eating area for all the busypeople, too. How does one figure all this in when considering retiring? I can’t figure it out and I think it all will be upon us sooner than I anticipate.</p>
<p>@busyperson - good questions. I’ve thought about this too. Our house is small & a little cramped with DH & I plus two DD’s. We live in a very expensive area, so have never really considered up-sizing. And it will be perfect for just DH and I when the time comes. But then where do you hold the big holiday gatherings? Unfortunately, I don’t think it is worth carrying the year-round expense & hassle of a larger home for the sake of a few days of holiday gatherings per year. We’ll just have to be cramped & try to be cheerful about it during the holidays!</p>
<p>@GertrudeMcFuzz, you have very wise thoughts about not carrying the expenses year-round for a few occasions. You are right.</p>
<p>I really am not anxious to move, nor incur additional expenses. I’m very fond of my community here and have lots of family and friends here. Yet, if we need to care for either set of parents, I know this house isn’t designed with mobility-limited parents in mind. And I’d really want to take care of them in our home. Add in the potential of any of the children moving back in, say during graduate school, job search, etc, and I know we are not in the right house. Is it prudent to be saving for moving to maybe a same size but different configuration house? I know we can’t afford a larger house, and probably in this market, not even the same size house. Are there other preparations that we should be considering when thinking about this along with future retiring? We don’t plan on retiring for quite awhile.</p>
<p>O101 – note that the present value of the lump sum distribution of a pension is based on the actuarial table and assumed interest rates cited in the pension plan docs. If it’s a traditional defined benefit pension plan, they will have to tell you the lump sum amount. My feeling is that if one is getting a DB pension, take that as the annuity, but don’t annuitize the IRA or 401(k). We’d use the DB pension and SS for regular expenses and save the 401(k) for bigger expenses (property taxes, big medical bills, purchase of a car, etc.). I was pleasantly surprised to hear my parents actually did this. Works for them. </p>
<p>If it’s all 401(k) money, you might consider splitting the funds between an annuity and an IRA rollover account. I would pay HUGE attention to financial advisor fees/fund expenses vs. what your H’s current retirement plan fees are, and would not necessarily want to put a career’s worth of 401(k) into new stocks/mutual funds all at once. </p>
<p>Mom2collegekids, next to my parents’ old neighborhood a builder had just completed a dozen or so garden homes with another two dozen planned when they were planning to move. Dad thought they were great, but my mother refused to even look at them as she was already set on moving to a condo. </p>
<p>In the town where we expect to settle is a development targeted at (but not restricted to) retirees. It consists of one level residences built in clusters of four homes that are joined at the garages in sort of a pinwheel configuration. I’ve seen similar neighborhoods in NC, too. The HOA takes care of all exterior maintenance from grass mowing to roof replacement. If I should outlive dh, I would seriously consider someplace like that. </p>
<p>@silpat, Wow, your friend really took those plans seriously! I can’t even image a house that large, and all in one floor! Your idea to look for one story floor plans in other geographic areas that have them more traditionally is a super idea. I imagine some parts of the country have such house plans more available, and one might be able to purchase more square footage than in our metropolitan area. Housing is quite expensive here, in the Mid-Altlantic, but not as much as in other nearby metro areas. There aren’t many options around here with no steps. </p>
<p>You sound like you have really done a super job in finding one story places and a builder. You’ve given it a lot of thought. Thank you for sharing your ideas! That is a terrific solution!</p>
<p>Best wishes in finding the perfect house plan that you will enjoy!</p>
<p>A flat in Nottinghill, London, with an elevator would be nice or an apt in Rome. My brother and SIL intend to buy a small apt in Rome as a base (in addition to another apt somewhere stateside) and then travel throughout Europe. They’ve lived in a number of places in the US, including Greenwich, CT, Brooklyn heights, and DC, and now live in San Diego. We’ve lived in the same house in New York the last 18 years and in an apt nearby for 10 years beforehand. Moving onto an adventure sounds life affirming to me. When my dad retired, he & my mom lived 6 months a year in Italy (they bought a home there), and travelled Europe, and six months in providence. My mom is now 85 and widowed, and continues to live half the year here and half in Italy. It’s kept her so vital and happy. They always lived beneath their means, living in the first house they bought when they could have traded up, and being frugal with their discretionary income but for travel & their second home. When i was growing up, we travelled the world together and had a blast. In fact, at my father’s funeral, I said in my eulogy that he “gave” me the world. If I can convince my husband to do the same, it’s how I’d like to spend my time while I’m still vital enough to travel.</p>
<p>I read/heard the Google car on the news in the last few days and I hope technology will help us in our retirement. Looking forward to a driverless car and a robot that can help with cooking/ cleaning, and Amazon Fresh delivering.</p>
<p>Renaissance mom, you’re talking my kind of life. My father retired to Thailand, though is now long gone. I say the same thing about my dad. He gave me Asia. I have friends who go to Vietnam every year for much of the winter, renting out their place here during the academic year. It is such an interesting way to live, and can be less expensive. </p>
<p>One does need to consider declining health and issues before it becomes critical/problematic. Financial planner said many hang on to too much property too long.</p>
<p>However if someone really enjoys keeping up a big yard or a big house - let them enjoy!</p>
or an apt in Rome. My brother and SIL intend to buy a small apt in Rome as a base (in addition to another apt somewhere stateside) and then travel throughout Europe. They’ve lived in a number of places in the US, including Greenwich, CT, Brooklyn heights, and DC, and now live in San Diego. We’ve lived in the same house in New York the last 18 years and in an apt nearby for 10 years beforehand. Moving onto an adventure sounds life affirming to me. When my dad retired, he & my mom lived 6 months a year in Italy (they bought a home there), and travelled Europe, and six months in providence. My mom is now 85 and widowed, and continues to live half the year here and half in Italy. It’s kept her so vital and happy. They always lived beneath their means, living in the first house they bought when they could have traded up, and being frugal with their discretionary income but for travel & their second home. When i was growing up, we travelled the world together and had a blast. In fact, at my father’s funeral, I said in my eulogy that he “gave” me the world. If I can convince my husband to do the same, it’s how I’d like to spend my time while I’m still vital enough to travel.</p>