@HRSMom, welcome to the thread! Us attorneys have to stick together! 
Please stay around and contribute any and all expertise you feel like sharing.
@mcat2 , there is no question that most of us suffered setbacks in 2008-2009 in one form or another. I posted that my inertia during 2000-2 and 2008-9 ended up helping me greatly when the market recovered. While I wish (in hindsight), I had been brave and plowed more funds into equities, my stomach and nerves could not have handled it when it looked as though the second Depression was nigh in 2008. Also, I was busy putting out fires everywhere so that my work did not suffer.
The way forward is to plan better, knowing what we have learned from experience. I think people here want to help; many have generously helped me.
And, no, you are not poor.
@rockvillemom , If you have your and your Hās most recent Social Security benefit statements, you can use this T. Rowe Price website and play with some numbers, using various strategies that the calculator allows you to select. It is free and not at all difficult to use, particularly for couples who have had one marriage between them:
http://individual.troweprice.com/public/Retail/Retirement/Social-Security-Tool
While it may not be give you the definitive answer, you can see the total benefits your different scenarios yield should you decide to file early at 62, or decide have one spouse file and suspend so that the dependent spouse can take benefits, and etc.
Itās a good starting point.
@AttorneyMom, Thanks.
I am aware that the prospect of being a doctor is not as good as it was before. How ābadā is it now if you do not pursue those very demanding specialties (either very grueling process during residency or having to be in training, residency or fellowship, almost āforeverā)?
Is a somewhat āless demandingā specialty, say, becoming a neurologist, good for having a more balanced life but still can be moderately rewarded financially? I heard IM as a group could be the least āhappyā one, statistically speaking, for some unknown reason but being a neurologist tends to be more satisfying. Is it true? I am aware that many IMs choose to sub-specialize but its training becomes longer.
Two out of 5 āband membersā in the band in my previously posted link have a physician parent, and both do not follow their parentās step. āKOā in that band is one of these two - and his parent is a first generation immigrant. (BTW, I heard KO had actually completed the majority or even all of his prereqs before dropping out of the premed path. He rightly chose other career he is passionate about, I think. He speaks Mandarin very well because he studied aboard in China 3 times in College if I recall correctly; his accent is likely better than quite many 2nd generation Asian Americans whose parents speak that language at home!)
My relative who is an MD, married to an MD. They have 4 kids, of which one is in med school and another is planning to go to med school. The other two have no interest in science or medicine. Another relative who is a dentist and married to a teacher has the oldest kid submitting med school applications this summer. The 2nd kid is studying business and itās early to figure out what the youngest (in HS) wants. One other relative who is an MD, also married to a teacher has the oldest an attorney, the middle child is a civil servant and the youngest a podiatrist. Many of my other friends who are MDs are urging their kids to be PAs or NPs rather than MDs. One has a D in her last year of PA school and their other D is getting experience (after getting her college degree) before applying to PA school.
@mcat2 , I donāt purport to know the full landscape of anything. But, that said, there are very good pockets still, where medical practice seems to be less encumbered than others and where private-pay or fee-for-care patients are still plentiful. For example, my mother was recently very unhappy because her neurologist told her that he wonāt accept Medicare any longer so, obviously, heās not hurting for patients. Demographics are very important.
There is no question that training is long. And I canāt say whether neurologists are happier or not. I do know that I owe a great deal to my neurosurgeon and, because of what he does, he lives like an athlete in that he keeps himself very fit, etc. I would not want to see it any other way considering the work he performs. We also know one impaired physician whose alcohol intake got the better of him and things did not end well. One cannot generalize.
I am not familiar with the training period for neuros but I hope that your S will choose his specialty based on his interests balanced with length of post-medical school training. FWIW, my H had a 5-year residency and a 1-year fellowship. He also has to be re-certified with a CAQ every 10 years. Iām trying to convince him to retire before the next one is due, but he enjoys his work.
Thank you for the suggestions re SS. I do have the SS stmts for each of us and will look at the suggested calculator. From what I understand, we would each want to delay taking our full benefit until age 70, but as the younger spouse. I could also take a spousal benefit at my full retirement age of 67. I will be curious to see if the calculator suggests a different approach.
Of course, my main concern is that SS still exists in 12 years when DH turns 70 and that we do actualy get the amounts we think we are getting based on current SS stmts. Otherwse, we are in deep trouble.
rockvillemom, We also need to rely on SS. So I paid some attention to it recently. The worst scenario as I have learned is that they may be able to pay 75% or so of what has been promised - this assumes that the Congress will not able to (or choose not to) do anything about it. It will unlikely disappear altogether, I think.
Also, we will not be able to pay off our mortgage before we retire. This is also bad. An issue for us to decide in the near future is whether to sell our house and if we do, when to sell it. We could also choose to lease out our house (which is too large for us) and rent a smaller place - It could be an apartment if we can not afford a house or condo. The idea of moving to a lower cost of living state or even an even-lower-cost-of-living country is also on the table. We will see.
Hereās a warning to folks who want to file and suspend, so that they can jump through the proper hoops and arenāt surprised that the suspended benefits donāt grow as expected during the suspension.
https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=168628&newpost=2539097
I did a project management on SS, worse case we would get 75%, Iām ok with that, I donāt like it if congress raises the age limit. Give people the option of taking early at 62 at 75%. Some people might not have the health to last till 70. But I think if Congress raises the age limit, it will not be fore people older than 50 or 55. Most likely for much younger crowd.
Thought I would include this with MD and attorney couple - There is a couple on Dave Ramseyās pre-recorded show today; 36 (Ryann, a MD) and Ed (38 an attorney) - I watch on my computer. She just finished residency - over the last 3 years their salaries went from $50K to $200K; they had $531K in student debt (she had the majority of it, and said most with 9 - 10% interest, and some showing 30 year pay out). They lived in her parentsā Orange Co basement (and had their first child, now 2) the second, 6 mo old was born after they moved out. Over the last 3 years they paid off all the student debt, living on beans and rice (Daveās talk with spending hardly nothing for life!) Impressive on the sacrifices they made to get the debt paid off so quickly. They came to Nashville (their first trip in 5 years) - she has a sister who lives in Franklin, and his parents came from NJ. She gave a cute example, H asked if they could now buy the better toilet paper, lol! Her parents got them started on this path, and of course helped with letting them move in.
We all found a way on this life road - how much we are teaching our kids, and how much they are figuring out their own thing on how to live life.
On the show, Dave also talked about the Lee Siegel New York Times article (Sunday Review, opinion piece) āWhy I Defaulted on My Student Loansā. I find this article a bit shocking because this author has written 5 books and is writing a memoir about money - so I suspect he could be making efforts and paying back his student loans. These student loans were 30-40 years ago and he is making no attempts at paying on his student loans by what he says (he took initially out to attend a private college he couldnāt afford, then through a graduate degree in writing). I sure hope the Dept of Education goes after him. He is saying he shouldnāt have to pay his bills morally because he should not give up his vocation (like taking loans and not paying them back was the only way to follow his writing vocation).
This dirtbag infuriates me.
And his job as an art/media critic is so vitally important to our society that it would be a crime against humanity if he had to take a job he didnāt like so he could pay his bills, like everybody else.
I thought you couldnāt get away with defaulting ion student loans, that they will make you pay themā¦including taking it out of your social security
^ this is when I hope karma is really true
I couldnāt read the whole piece; I would have had to double up on my blood pressure meds. Iām just so pleased that Iām subsidizing him. I have no problem helping someone whoās doing his best. I pay a lot in taxes for those people, not for this precious snowflake.
^ You can default on them, which just means you arenāt paying them back. But the interest keeps piling up, and every time they get transferred to a different place to handle collections, another 10% or so gets added onā¦ the govāt can take it out of his tax refunds and govāt benefits (up to a point), garnish his wages, or sue him. It seems like he has assets, so I donāt think he will escape it forever.
Hereās a nice summary:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/default-student-loan-29859.html
This is somewhat OT, but Iāve been an Amazon Prime member for years and have been getting 3% cash back for using my Amazon Visa card. Just today, I found out that they have a store card that will give back 5% for Prime members. The interest rate is outrageous, but if you pay your balance in full each month itās a winner. It took me around 2 minutes to fill out the form and get approved. Wheee!
ETA: and a $40 gift card is automatically added to your account. Will it never stop raining pennies from heaven?
DS once talked to us (not very seriously though) about the same idea: move back to live with us in order to pay back his student loans in a short time frame. But this was when he was āaloneā (without a GF.) It is unlikely the case now because there is another personās opinion involved. (But the size of his student loan is smaller, about 1/5 of what was referred to above - thanks to both bank of mom and dad and the generosity of the school.)
@IxnayBob - whatās the fine print? It canāt be 5% on everything.
And you should have held out for a better deal - last year when I got the 3% points card, they gave me $70. 
The rebate is automatically applied to the statement balance (which I prefer anyway).
Thereās also a relatively low limit, so perhaps they catch you exceeding it.
Instead of Chase, itās Sychrony (sp?) Bank, which doesnāt have a great reputation for customer service. But, after I get my account number, Iāll set it up for auto pay.
I believe that Sychrony has trouble with automatic downloads to Quicken. Thatās a PITA, but Iāll trade that for an extra 2% rebate.
Other great deals:
My Amex Cash card used to give 6% back on groceries, but I guess my teenagers killed them with that, so now itās limited to the first $6k of groceries. That $360 pays the $75 annual fee and I still get 1% on the rest of my groceries.
Pentagon Federal Visa pays back 5% on gasoline purchases. Exxon/Mobil magic wand (I think they call it ExpressPay) is treated as cash, routes the charge to PenFed, and often has additional discounts on gas.
Itās a sign that I spend too much, but I earn >$2k/year in rebates. Many years ago, Boston College let me put DDās first semester tuition on a credit card with no surcharge ā that ended quickly :))
I like to maximize my money too!