@sryrstress - how is your husband doing?
Thank you for the kind comments. He is now at a rehab facility and getting stronger every day. He has lost 15 lbs during the last 3 weeks, and he started out skinny, so watching that. Itâs been very surreal and an extremely educational experience 
If you have heart failure and kidney failure, all they appear to care about is no sodium. We are so surprised they barely mention red meat and fat.
He knows from some friends his department is sort of drowning. I know he felt good today when his boss visited and told him they have 2+ people doing his job. I can just see the glimmer in his eye and smile when he said, âI told you for 5 years I needed help.â
We are going one day at a time. So grateful we are currently renting in town, as the ambulance wouldnât have made it to either country house in time. Even if he had died, I was so grateful for the fact he woke up and could talk after they finally weaned him off the vent. I got an extra 8 days there that many people donât get the opportunity to have.
We always wondered what a medical helicopter cost. Now I know! $23,686.
Wow.
@sryrstress do they have any idea the cause of the arrest? Weâve had so many threads on CC about health, colonoscopy, stress test, all the things we should do and then we read about your slender, fit, âhealthyâ husband. Do you know anything now that we should learn from?
Iâm so glad you were close to help and he is improving.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your husband, @sryrstress .
This raises a point for me, though. Everyone on here seems to have a good handle on their money, but how about your spouse? Do they know where all the accounts are and what all the logon details are?
I donât think my wife knows everything. I should probably do something about that.
My spouse is more up on the IRA/stocks. Weâve discussed the insurance, wills, pension, SS etc but I wouldnât say he is fluent.
We maintain a single password vault and both know and have access to all financial accounts and legal documents. Neither of us would be in the dark without the other. Our son also knows where our legal and financial docs are kept, has access to them and the password vault, and knows what to do and who to call should anything happen to his parents simultaneously. My parents have done the same with us and have made me a signatory on all their accounts, but it will probably be a big mess when DHâs parents are gone as I donât think either one of them has a full picture of their finances and neither wants to discuss the topic.
@ChoatieMom , ditto, and also have a cloud backup of all the files, including the password vault. Quicken is a great store of account numbers, passwords, transaction histories, basis history, etc.
H and my SisIL handled finances for my ILs for many years before they passed away, so there was no mystery or mess when both of them died. My folks on the other hand have not shared much with us but keep saying that my brother is POA (tho brother says he doesnât have POA). Itâs already messy and likely to get much messier but they and brother are very touchy about anything and everything, so every just avoids ruffling feathers.
Our kids know where we keep our passwords and also know who our advisors are, so they could handle things if we were both to die (though currently that seems pretty far in the future).
Iâm not sure what we can learn from H except the dr. says the risk figures hold very true for an entire population, but not for individuals. Not the most reassuring thing⊠In retrospect, he consumed a lot of salt (chips and peanut fan) and his creatinine had been slightly elevated for a decade. Heâs had poor lungs for decades (sarcoid) and was routinely followed by a leading critical care pulmonologist at a major med hospitalâincluding the years of those creatinine levels. All she said was to drink more water.
No one ever recommended a stress test. Do they recommend those with no symptoms? The last 6 months he had been more tired, but he was working 65+ hrs/week and we had an incredibly stressful 9 months selling a house fast and moving during blizzard weeksâwe are both tired and the reasons seem plausible.
I have no doubt our family functions better when H and D are the patients and I am the caregiver, but after 21 years with her and his sarcoid 10 years ago, Iâm tired.
H does none of our paperwork and wouldnât have a clue how to access the funds or fight insurance, or deal with Dâs medical and school needs. H and the kids know everything is in my office though, and the folders have access info. Next goal is to make a binder with account info, balances, contact info, etc. all in one place.
@sryrstress so sorry about Hâs medical issues.
Since he is thin, they want to encourage protein.
As you say, he has the high salt. In his current condition, and for his future, salt restriction will help him with his health and his specific medical issues.
IDK with his other health issues, why primary care MD did not have a cardiac work up. Maybe his lipid panel is all within the norm and doc didnât think he was at risk.
All I can say is wow on the stress level of his job.
My H got put on a cholesterol medication, and it had a very good effect on lowering his bad lipids - he also exercises and is on a low amount of blood pressure medication. H also likes salt, but with dieting isnât taking in a great deal. H is not much overweight but wants to keep in the same pant size and also reduce the belly/fat at the waistline.
I got to increase exercise and lose weight. I had cardiac stress tests due to cancer meds and radiation, but have good family history on heart (as does H). Keeping the lipids in check help reduce heart and stroke risks.
Hope H can manage to keep his stress levels in check as he recovers, and also now be able to keep his work level in check when he does return to his job. A terrible wake up call.
Wow on the cost for the air med-flight. My mom was in a serious car accident and they med flighted her; after insurance paid, we had about $1100 bill (this was in 1996 and not a far flight, maybe 40 miles).
IDK how family will manage if I am the first to go - I have paperwork organized, and try to get the family members to get familiarâŠ
Assuming an exercise test with electrocardiography, see https://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/Page/Document/UpdateSummaryFinal/cardiovascular-disease-risk-screening-with-electrocardiography for the USPSTF recommendations.
@syrstress, sorry to hear about your husbandâs medical problems and glad to hear that he is recovering.
We were just hiking in the Canadian Rockies and I had a minor fall and bruised my shoulder. If I had needed a helicopter, I wonder what that would have cost. I donât know what insurance would cover that. Have to check.
We use LastPass in our family â I set it up for ShawWife and the two kids. Separate accounts with separate passwords. I should share my password with someone â havenât done so. My business and investment life are a little complex. I have one operating company (and LLC) that is now co-owned by a dynasty trust that I set up and by my partner and a C-Corp that employs me and am just starting up a new venture. Several LLCs in the trust that hold things like real estate. I had a sensational accountant â name partner of a regional firm â who just retired but knew about most of my financial life (and helped me set up the structure. I have a lawyer who is a family friend â we asked one of of our friends to introduce him to ShawWifeâs grad school roommate/close friend. He understands all of the structures but doesnât know specifically where accounts are, etc. And, we have two financial advisors â one only for personal accounts â and one who has accounts mostly related to the business but including my 401k. [For people who wonder why have more than one FA. The former provides much better investment advice. The latter provides much better service (âprivate wealth advisorâ in a brokerage firm) and provides access to what have been very good private equity investments that I couldnât otherwise have made as Iâm not rich enough or connected enough. For people who wonder why have any FA: my life is too complicated]. All of those people would have to help ShawWife if I died or were incapacitated. I donât think she would be up to learning lots more now â she would say she is but would not retain much. So I intentionally have advisors who would help.
I suggested to each of the kids that they use the private wealth advisor to set up accounts, because the service is excellent and both are sending their paychecks there. I suggested to ShawD that she figure out an automatic savings plan and she is working on it. Interestingly, both of the FAâs are geared to integrating adult kids. Probably wise as a good way to retain assets when parents die.
old proverb: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Many (all?) of us originally came to cc to become educated â to learn about college admissions. some of us oldsters remain to pay if forward.
If I may suggest that all of our kids become educated. An excellent starter book describes an extremely low cost investment portfolio. Set it and (almost) forget it. The audio book is free. Compare against FA advisor fees compound year after year after year.
better yet, Fidelity is taking management fees to zero on two of its most popular funds. Expect others to match.
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/35315/000137949118003935/filing836.htm
The book is very good, and you can feel good that Taylor gives all profits to the The John C. Bogle Center for Financial Literacy (https://boglecenter.net/).
I donât have many heroes, but right there with Fred Rogers is John Bogle. He could have become a billionaire, but preferred to do the right thing.
By the way, if your kid wonât read even the relatively short book mentioned above, have them try https://www.amazon.com/If-You-Can-Millennials-Slowly-ebook/dp/B00JCC5JKI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397580064&sr=8-1&keywords=if+you+can+bernstein.
I have a short book on our coffee table that DD2 is reading âA Graduateâs Guide to Lifeâ by Frank J Hanna (2017). Some sage advice with seeing the forest.
Nice that DDs keep communicating and wanting to learn financial stuff from us. We have done pretty good, and they can do as good or better.
I went to the local Bogleheads chapter annual meeting last month. Taylor Larimore was there and gave us all autographed copies. Heâs an amazing person â 94 years old, sharp as a tack, still posts regularly on the Bogleheads forum.
Taylor is so helpful! When I started following Bogleheads, his comments stood out immediately.
Speaking of TaylorâŠin addition to being an author and offeror of FREE financial advice, Larrimore is pat of the Greatest Generation. He served as a 101st Airborne paratrooper in the Battle of the Bulge, for which we should all be grateful.