Of course, I get that. My long term plan for those funds was that they be inherited by our heirs and/or charity. Our heirs would get a stepped-up basis; charities don’t pay taxes.
So, effectively, when I buy those mutual funds back (which I will do when our house closes), I will have reset the basis, which I have no particular need for. If the mortgage company had been reasonable, I would have taken out a mortgage until we sold our old home.
@thumper1 Thanks. We did something similar and assumed expenses would be the same with one returning to the workforce at a much lower income as compared to previous career or bread winner taking a cut in pay to have a position with less travel and hours. Family health insurance was a first thought.
The big house is a big question mark because it was built/renovated by all of us with each piece of stone and wood making the family memories. I’m not sure how long it will take for everyone to heal.
The main categories of expenses are easy to add and everything else seemed so clear at the time. Home maintenance cost is a big ?? for a family that accomplished everything together. Long terminal illnesses create so much stress and are so detrimental to developing youth. Some become incredible adults overnight both intellectually and with familial responsibility while others crumble and require help for a very long time.
In the thick of raising college and HS children, expenses fluctuate so much it is difficult to decide on a new level of spending. Financial aid is a ?? Health costs increase as children cope with immense stress. As a new employee without vacation time, college pick up & drop off is a flight cost, home and auto maintenance are hired, a carpool for practices turns into paying for a driver, more meals out, the list is endless for a completely different lifestyle. I’m surprised how much the unknown variables swing a total. SS laws are constantly changing for widows, tax laws have huge consequences when you need to cash out all at once, healthcare and insurance are a giant mess for the working ill.
With debt of a mortgage and car loans descresonary expenses would not be as noticable, but the intent was to be debt free and focus on tuition. That doesn’t help get FA at top tier schools even when the worst imaginable happens. It does seem crazy to sell a debt free family home to pay full tuition when neighbors were counseled to take equity out of house and lower bank accounts in order to receive FA. I guess I should be happy that others can float into retirement after the retrieve $$ from no interest bearing places but it just seems wrong.
Browsing through the thread I see the different regions of the country with tax and real-estate differences. Everyone also has different discretionary spending patterns. Everything also seemed clear to us based on our plans as a couple, even with ballooning college costs. It’s just not easy to craft a new plan for one. I may not get the gift of life to retire either, but if I do, I don’t want to burden my kids financially.
You can have your broker, or in this case Vanguard, track your lots for you. (Vanguard calls it SpecID.) Great for Tax Loss Harvesting.
btw: Vanguard also will give the heirs the correct basis upon death.
That only works for Covered shares, i.e., those purchased after January 1, 2012. Many of my shares are non-covered. I use SpecID, but you can only tell Vanguard how many non-covered shares to sell, not which lot.
PS The basis on death will be whatever the shares were worth on the date of death; the lot won’t matter.
I suspect we will be $70 - $100 K in spending for a while. Plan to fix up and sell the house and downsize some - maybe relocate depending on where the kids live (they don’t live far from us now but that will change).
As long as we work until MC, not spending huge amounts on health insurance. H’s company is going to downsize again, but H specifically got assigned temporarily (for a few months with some weeks home) to where he is greatly needed. I have two part time jobs and one that I can work more hours, but I need/want a couple days off a week. Last week I worked 6 days because I am traveling 5 days this week.
We have a very good portfolio including some annuities that are doing well and a healthy 401k, plus some Roth IRA’s.We probably won’t be touching the Roths and that can go to the kids.
“Cash is a devil to track.” - Tis very true, so I don’t even try.
Being lazier than others, I just treat Cash as a big miscellaneous category, and it has gotten smaller each year due to increasing use of credit card. In retirement, the main Cash subcategory that will go away is DH’s work lunch. (I brown bag my lunch). I suspect in retirement that expense will be compensated by more lunch dates and outings together 
As mentioned in other posts, mostly I track monthly “outflow” (Visa + Checks/autopays + Cash)… omitting Tuition, Wedding lump-sum etc. The Visa Year End statement gives rough categorization, close enough for my retirement planning purpose. We pay cash for cars, so that needs to be an extra category. Also of course the dread Medical insurance expenses, especially pre-65.
We spend less than $50 in cash a month. Mostly on random parking and small tips. So we write it off as “misc.” 
KLSD, I am sorry to hear of your health troubles… You might want to start a new thread on planning for one partner not being there, and you will get much more feedback and others in similar circumstances. I hope whichever of you has the poor health prognosis as much joy, love and peace as possible through the hard times
I am disgusted. We just received a letter from our insurance company. DH is self employed, so of course our insurance has always been ridiculously expensive. Every year for the past 4 years we have received a letter saying our insurance is no longer available for the next year. Texas now offers only 2 options for private insurance. The letter we received says that they will offer us insurance next year, but our premiums will go up from $2700 a month to $3850 per month. Yes, folks, that’s PER MONTH, for a family that did not even reach our deductibles last year.
If this is not evidence of a system that is broken, I don’t know what is. We are 1%, so we can afford what is basically just catastrophic coverage at huge cost. How do small business owners who don’t happen to have the assets we have make it? Really? How?
@Nrdsb4 - that’s outrageous! I am so sorry. What is the amount of your deductible? Is it high as well? Wondering if maybe you can raise that amount and get a lower premium?
I really am so sorry. Our COBRA will run out in September. It terrifies me. Definitely will be a high price to pay for our retiring early.
If something cannot go on forever, it will stop.
–Stein’s Law, first pronounced in the 1980s
Of course, it might not stop until we’re all bankrupt or ill from insufficient care.
IxnayBob’s addendum
@Hoggirl, our deductible is 8K per person.
@Nrdsb4 - no words. 
Wow, and I thought our premiums were bad. We’ll pay around $1900/month for 2 adults in an HMO plan with no OON coverage and almost $15000 family deductible. We only use the insurance for a physical each year. Anything else goes to our deductible. Fortunately DH is eligible for Medicare late next year.
Fortunately, the state I live in (MA) has 42 plans available on the exchange, and I’m sure more available privately. The cheapest is about $770/mo for two people.
@Nrdsb4, without being too nosy, is there some special circumstance driving your insurance so high? Just out of curiosity I looked on healthcare.gov for Texas (I picked a random zip code in the middle of nowhere in north TX), and it shows 14 plans ranging from $1500/mo-$2500/month.
I just checked rates for our area and they’re up again. We also don’t qualify for any subsidies and have a 13K deductible. This year at least I have the option of shopping some association plans to see if we can improve on our expense a little bit.
@notrichenough, when I looked through them last year, I could find NO ONE who accepted them in our area. As it is, we had to completely change providers because only the Baylor system accepts our insurance.
I’ll look again, but what’s the point of having cheaper insurance that no one accepts?
That’s mind-boggling, and pretty disturbing.
These are all BC/BS plans, maybe they can give you a list of providers that will take the plans?
@Nrdsb4, have you gone at it from the reverse direction? Meaning, asking your providers what insurance they accept? Those seem like insane prices, and very few people can afford to pay that, so I wonder what other people are doing. Most people could not possibly pay that kind of money for high deductible health insurance. Have you considered the cost of just getting a catastrophic plan for cheap, and paying everything else out of pocket? I believe there is no Obamacare penalty in 2019.
^I was under the impression that most companies don’t offer catastrophic plans, but I could certainly be wrong. It seems like on the exchange they are only available to poor, young people. I realize that is n/a in this situation, but I just haven’t gotten the sense that doing what @busdriver11 is suggesting is possible in a broad way.