We gave $$ to big kiddo as a wedding gift. Which they did use to buy a house a few years ago. That is their joint asset. Baby kiddo is not married and is not ready to be a homeowner yet. She had a rental crisis - her landlord decided not to renew their lease and is clearing the t-house out and prepping it for sale. We helped her look around and were shocked to see how much a decent studio apartment or a room was renting for (hew $1000/month t-home basement room was a bargain). We just happened to sit on a stash of $$ from selling House1, so we decided to reinvest it in RE, and that money went towards a condo which we now rent to kiddo and her BF. Their rent covers our expenses, and they know that their landlords are not going to give them a notice to vacate any time soon. The condo is in a nice area and is retirement-friendly (ground floor), so we might snowbird there when the time comes - if we decide to snowbird. 
@deb922 , good point. I missed the article but found one of the strong points of the book The Millionaire Next Door was that giving consistent financial support for grown kids merely teaches them not to get their expenses in line with their income and hence teaches them not to save. I have actually seen that with my sister-in-law.
In our case, we are living our best lives â we both have self-directed work lives that we love and that give us kudos from the world and give me (not my wife) pretty decent income. Iâm not sure everyone would want the kind of travel that I do, but I actually mostly enjoy that. We could always use more money but feel pretty good about where we ares and thus have been putting aside money for things like the down payments. That may change a bit as one kid is in the Bay Area and the other will soon be there. It is pretty hard to accumulate the down payment for a house in SF and so we would want to help the kids there, but would expect them to pay mortgages, etc. on their own. As I mentioned, our son is not unlikely to have a very high net worth at some point. He has already indicated, without prompting, that he would give some to his sister (who is doing fine but will likely not have the same net worth). This is the same kid who heard me and ShawWife talking about trying to figure out if we could afford to buy a house in the Canadian Rockies and being concerned about the economic impact. He was probably around 10. He came up to us and told us not to worry because he would buy us our mountain house.
@westparent123 We were very lucky to have good financial aid from Rice U, and to be fairly frugal. We did not assist either kids with grad school; one recieved a fully supported masterâs degree from an Ivy League school with deep pockets, the other saved up while working, and is attending a professional program on his own dime. Even I have my limits!
Make annual exclusion gifts, , if you can afford it and you would like to help kids now. And kidâs SO and children count too if you like.
15k per person per year. H and w are both individuals so itâs in effect 30k to a person per year. No gift tax filing and no use of your lifetime exemption for estate tax purposes.
But for me. Instead of an annual expectation, I like the idea of something fun.
Take your whole extended family on a vacation and pay for the trip. If you can make it work. Not only do all your kids and families spend time together, you are part of it too! Lifeâs short. Those memories will last longer than the new sunroom on their home.
And gifts to grandkids for school is great idea too.
Re Roth IRAs. Excellent idea. You make the gift to them and they fund from their own checking account.
And they have to qualify for a Roth. There are phase out rules and other matters to be aware of for these. But not a problem for the vast majority of households. Just a caveat for future readers as an abundance of caution.
I like @privatebanker 's idea of the family trip, my in laws did that a few times and it was memorable, they are not trips we would have taken on our own at that time in life.
We give a wedding gift of cash that they can use all or some toward a wedding & keep any remaining, one kid eloped and put all the money in her house downpayment fund and that was a brilliant strategy for her and for the circumstances at the time. We also offer a downpayment matching fund, if they save up $X we will match it. A bit of skin in the game and a way to help.
Iâd love to fund their Roths and their 529s and other things, but for now, DH & I feel led to make sure our retirement funds are set up in a healthy way. A lot of money was spent on education and related things plus multiple wedding and down payment funds, itâs time to make sure what we have left grows well. Since weâve no pension, I hope our investments do well and we are in a position to help later, for example grandkidâs education expenses.
We like family experiences also. I would like to do something with the kids every year, but for now it might move to every other year for a trip, as long as they are willing to travel with us. If we do something this year, it wonât be a âbigâ trip, but something closer to home.
@1214mom and others talking about family trips with adult children and (if applicable) grandchildrenâŠ
How would you know if your children were no longer willing to travel with you? It seems like that would be an easy thing for someone to feel âobligatedâ to accept. My parents died before I was married, but no way would I have wanted to have traveled with my in-laws.
The other side of the equation would be the awkwardness of putting an end to it as the giver/parent if it got to be too much money-wise. Or for other reasons.
@Hoggirl I think it is very situationally dependent. For me, we have a very small family and love to get together. And they donât have the means to travel as much. We would throw it out there with the âno pressureâ guarantee.
If in-laws arenât a fan favorite just say no thanks or that wonât work this year. Or have spouse tell them you really cherish travel experiences as smaller nuclear family. And thank you. No big deal.
HaâŠI recently heard from our soon-to-be-married son & FDIL that they plan to be traveling with in-laws (not us) for their honeymoon (at least a part of it!) Put it in another way: her parents will be their âvolunteer/free guidesâ because they are more familiar (than their D and DS) with their destination!
From this, you could tell how âeasy-to-get-alongâ our son is (and maybe her parents are easy to get along also.)
If a person has alteady had 403 from his work place, can he still contribute to Roth IRA?
I am aware that I could not contribute (or contribute much) to traditional IRA because I contribute the maximum to my traditional 401k with my company. I do not know how the related tax law governs the 403 plan (how is it different from 401k?) and traditional/Roth IRA â whether you can contribute to both 403 and IRA (especially Roth IRA)?
Depends. If you donât exceed these limits. Here are the rules.
Roth IRA Eligibility
For 2019 single workers (and heads of household) earning up to $122,000. Phases out at $137,000.
Married couples (filing jointly) earning up to $193,000. Phases out at $203,000.
Roth IRA Contribution Amounts
For 2019 the limit is $6,000. In addition, if you are 50 or older at any time during the year you can contribute an additional $1,000.
Iâm pretty sure our kids would nix the travel if they didnât want to go. Theyâre just not that polite (as far as going on trips when they donât want to). We know what they enjoy, and only seriously offer that. We asked our youngest to do Grand Canyon rafting, and he made it clear that he wasnât interested. Didnât even ask the oldest, as though he generally is fine with doing anything, we knew he wouldnât enjoy it much, especially without his brother.
The kids seem to be very interested in the trips we choose. I hope that lasts.
Our kids would go⊠if they get to stay in their own room, do their own stuff, and meet with us for meals so we could pick up the check. 
Well, at least you got em for the meals!
Our kids are very happy to travel with us. We pick up hotel and any meals they eat with us.
403b/401K/Simple contribution limits are separate from the Roth/non-deductible IRA contribution limits. You can contribute to both. Income and age will determine how much to Roth or IRA.
@Hoggirl, our kids donât hesitate to say ânoâ if theyâre not interested. If weâre going tropical or skiiing, they are usually in. If weâre going hiking/biking, they arenât so interested. So far they havenât turned down anything that was surprising (we really didnât think they would want to go to Glacier Natâl Park for example, because at that point, hiking wasnât their thing).
The last couple of trips our one ârequirementâ was getting together for dinner (we pay). If they are eating with us, and not drinking too much, we always pay. If they choose to do something different, then they pay. (This going to dinner has never been a problem). We have been known to feed the kids pizza, and go out to adult dinners ourselves, and all were happy. (This when kids were teens and really werenât interested in going out to âniceâ dinners).
Wait, are these your children, or mine? 
Neither big kid plus family nor little kid plus BF will turn down a nice dinner with us - if they are free to join us.
We took the kids on one major trip a year from the time ShawD was 5. The UK, Europe, Bali, Japan, Australia, Mexico, Central America. We skied as a family every winter in the Canadian Rockies and usually went theer in the summers and went hiking with them. They have both said they would love to travel with us. Recently, the combination of school and jobs has meant schedules didnât intersect, but this year for my birthday, they are going to join us for a few days of hiking in the Canadian Rockies. We will pay expenses for the kids and their SOs.
We have always loved to hike and ShawSon picked that up quickly â we sent him on an outdoorsy camp and then Outward Bound in HS and when he was in grad school, he would organize backpacking trips in Yosemite. As an 80 hour a week entrepreneur, he is doing a lot less of that. ShawD was a bit resistant to hiking for many years but now that her BF is an avid backpacker, she is avid too. She organized a trek this winter in Patagonia. We couldnât get the right accommodations for our kids this year at Lake OâHara and are going to stay with friends who have four cottages in the Purcells. I think that they are on a lake and are pretty rugged.
Love the idea of helping our kids with 401ks if they need it, but ShawD shouldnât and ShawSon probably wonât have one. His startup venture has I think 9-10 full-time employees and will double this year but probably doesnât offer extensive benefits â instead people get equity.