<p>Don’t forget personal “upkeep” expenses too. You going to have your hair done, your toe nails clipped, chin hairs tweezed (heh, heh), should probably join some rec programs too, before you need PT and OT, plus to keep up with what’s happening in the community. My mother and MIL became recluses, which was not good at all. And bear in mind you may need some help even when you never have in some things.</p>
<p>Mom2, my DH has been the same way. He is shocked at what it costs for his mother each month. I have a person come in to clean and spiff her up. She’s good at cosmetology, hair and things like that (MIL does not have medical needs) so we get a lot right there for what she pays. But it’s getting late in spring with summer around the corner, so she should get fresh light clothes, new shoes. and with her twisted toes, we are talking ortho shop and a lot of money. Leakage products ( and she’s not incontinent, just a bit of leakage), creams for her face and other amenities. It adds up. I have her take me and a grandson to lunch once a month, mainly to get her out. Some church actiivities too, which comes to a hundred bucks,and she does not give much. Takes a lot more than she gives. Also contributions to neighbors’ and relatives kids for fund raisers. again she gives very little but it’s still an expense. I’ll take her to see her brother next month, but she’ ll pay the gas and tolls and food on the way, plus a gift for them–it’ll run her a hundred bucks or so. Every time I take my mother into the city to see my brother, it costs me a minimum of forty bucks. She doesn’t have it, so I take the hit. But I think when I’m old, if I still live here and want to go into NYC once in a while, it’s going to mean I pay, </p>
<p>I was on an austerity regiment for years to afford our home and our kids’ private schools at time when we really could not afford those two things. Not fun. But I was younger and had the energy to make up for the lack of money with the time and effort and work. Doesn’t work that way when one gets older as the energy is not there, it takes more time and you can’t do the work any more. Neither DH nor I can do much planting anymore, for example, due to orthopedic issues for him and some severe allergy issues for me, not to mention the idea of those hours on my knees just isn’t gonna do it for me as I’m in my 60s. The kids do some but really, I’ve had to pay the lawn guy to dig some holes and someone else to do some plantings that I would have done all my self even 5years ago. We either have our kids wash the car now–I just don’t have the energy, and DH doesn’t have the knees–he’s really in line for a knee replacement, really two and counts every step. So to keep the car looking decent, we use the car wash locally, something we almost never spent money for. I used to rent a high pressure hose and wash the exterior of the house. No more. Gonna pay someone to do it. Same with the outside windows. My MIL’s house was tumbledown, dirty, grimey even from the exterior as she let those things go. Didn’t want to pay for them, couldn’t do it herself. I also pay a fortune now in cable costs when we always had the most basic cable as the two old ladies find comfort in TV and spend a lot of time watching it. Need the premier package to get the out of country language channels for my mother. Brother pays the $30 per month that it costs for that channel, but we have to pay for the enhanced cable to be able to get it So a lot of hidden expenses there. </p>
<p>The other thing is, I really don’t want to be in my old age having to count my pennies to see if I can pay to get my chin hairs plucked and my toe nails clippped. Or to get out and eat at a restaraunt more often. Didn’t matter to me ten years ago or even now, as I’m out a lot and whether I sit and eat there or at home matters little, but when it’s a reason to get out, one of the few things one can be active doing, it’s a whole other story. A lot of activities to include a meal and you gotta pay to do it and getting out is important. </p>