That seems really high for assisted living. Here are some numbers by Genworth (may have been posted earlier?) : Cost of Long Term Care by State | Cost of Care Report | Genworth
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Itâs not awful for assisted living when it includes meals, housekeeping (beds made daily, trash removed daily, room/bathroom cleaned weekly, laundry weekly), internet, landline, DirectTV/cable, activities, etc. if itâs in a very high cost area.
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The cost of assisted living and memory care seems wildly variable. From where I live near Seattle, the place my dad ended up for memory care is about $84K/yr total, for almost everything. This is west of my house about 18 minutes. If I went east of my house about 18 minutes to a more upscale community and little nicer place, itâs about 140K. Assisted living in the same place is much cheaper, though. My parents could likely pay a bit more, or a lot less, in places all about 30 min from their home.
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Thank you for all the replies. Itâs obviously highly variable, which makes planning even crazier.
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I spoke to a friend of mine whose aged father is a retired pastor. He had a huge emphasis on visitation during his ministry and has seen lots of different types of facilities and situations for care. He firmly believes that higher price/shiny/new is not always indicative of better care.
I donât know the best way to determine who provides the best care, but it did make me realize a local pastor might have good insights into making recommendations because s/he sees so many.
Through marketing we all get sucked into the concept that pricier = better. Sometimes that is true, sometimes it isnât.
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Some areas have small residences for dementia patients. A friendâs mother lived in a place like that, with only 6 patients, and it was wonderful experience for them. Typically costs are less because there are fewer bells and whistles.
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@dragonmom I sure didnât think about senior care facilities when we moved/purchased homes - in part because both sets of parents are in a state we have not lived in since graduating college, and they have been in their communities all their married adult lives.
I had an impression of facilities when I was in Milwaukee with nurse training - we had some clinicals at a wonderful facility that had the progression of care as an aging/disabled person needed from IL, AL and skilled care â in the late 1970âs a concept that was probably only introduced to larger cities at the time. I also saw in Switzerland where my great grandmother had AL apartment - all Swiss pay into their health care but they also have where one can pay more (hospital where you would have the same physician versus rotating, etc.).
The last 5 years of my work, I was at skilled care and rehab facility that was part of 50 facilities all operated under one umbrella (growth which began with one facility) - there are a lot of rules/regulations to follow to provide the standard of care. Some states are a little more loosy-goosy with allowing people staying in IL or AL longer than they should â and it also affects affordability for some residents. Some seniors it is hard to get the change going (their lives âshrinkâ as their abilities decline) and they get angry at family and at caretakers.
Having survived aggressive stage III cancer, I understand about shrinking life - I was on the couch during the worst two âolder chemosâ which the hope was to kill off the cancer cells that the first two did not, and my life was pretty small at that point. The chemo and prayers worked - although I still had radiation and IVs for another 7 months, it was a dramatic turn around point when there was no cancer detected at primary cancer site.
91 YO mother-in-law really âclickedâ with a paid meals on wheels lady, and negotiated for her to be her caretaker and paid her a salary plus expenses every week. MIL knew she was declining in physical ability and dementia, and begged her caretaker at home to not leave her (it turns out the caretaker, in her 70âs had a stroke on off time, and on recovery at home threw a blood clot and died Oct 2020), then MIL declined in the next few months to where she needed to go into skilled care. She had agreed earlier to join her H in skilled care much earlier, but then Covid hit. She enjoyed living at home, even though she needed live in care. BIL moved in for some days/week (his residence was about an hour away), and then when DH retired in Nov, he went for lengthy visits/stays. DH was able to take very good care of her, and would come home when she developed a UTI/hospitalization (she had a lot of co-morbidities), then go back (850 miles each way) after a break. She was almost bed ridden by the time they got her moved into skilled care (same room as her DH had), and the first week went great (end of Feb 2021), but then her hypertensive heart disease had her chest fill up, her legs ballooned, and in the 2nd week she was dying. DH was again at her bedside; brother in TN didnât scramble enough to get there and she died about 8 hours before he arrived. Brother that lives 5 hours away did scramble to get to bedside and have some meaningful time with her. Brother that lives in the area was there, in and out. Before moving to skilled care, her solution was for DH to be her caretaker at home 24/7.
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There are home care situations with a limited number of residence that fall under different rules. I know two nurses that both purchased a very large home and had it remodeled to accommodate this kind of care. Key is that the residents like the accommodations, the food is made to their liking, the house mom/nurse (has living place there) or hired caretakers there keep everyone happy. Bedroom/en-suites, common eating area and living area.
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I see myself doing the same.
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According to this 2021 Schwabâs survey of 401(k) plan participants, one needs $1.9M saved for retirement:
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Of course, 401(k) plan participants may not be representative of all working or typical-working-age adults in terms of financial demographics, so what they believe is the amount needed for retirement may be different from the overall general working or typical-working-age public.
401(k) plan participants would exclude those working in government or non-profit organization jobs (they may have 403(b) plans instead) and those whose employers do not offer 401(k) plans to them (probably mostly lower paid, part time, contract, etc. workers).
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Duh. 
Isnât that obvious?
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This represents the self-reported estimates of what they need. Who knows how well they have captured future medical liabilities etc. and, the taxes they will pay upon making distributions from the 401k? I think the thoughtful folks on this site have had to work on those issues.
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Dang. Ripping up my letter of resignation and instead writing an ânever will be able to resignâ letter instead⊠
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Average is what it is. Some will need more; others less. And average 401(k) balance is supposedly $195,500 for people 60-69. Median is $62,000. Some some broad ranges with a lot of people not near the average. As with many things discussed on this site, it depends.
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Itâs nice to know what the rich people think. 
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Interesting info from Schwab, which I assume must have an upper cut of investors. As we discuss a lot there, the amount of savings needed depends on sooooo many factors regarding retirement Income (SS, pensions, etc) and Expenses (needs and wants).
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@Hoggirl - interesting about the pastorâs take on assisted living/nursing homes (expensive doesnât equal better, necessarily). The home health aides who cared for my parents said exactly the same thing. The saw the âbehind the scenesâ stories in the many nursing/assisted living home in our area. They said only one was decent (and not the most expensive!).
The ones they said were not good (residents neglected and often unclean, understaffed, etc.) included the very fancy ones in nearby wealthy towns - those featuring soaring marble lobbies with beautiful furniture and huge bouquets of fresh flowers.
Iâll never forget that info. It made me mad for the families who trusted their loved ones to those places, thinking they were doing their best.
Good to know another source for the inside track (local religous folks!).
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Oh my, w/o a pension, I would be terrified to have such little amount in 401k/retirement funds. We donât live in a high cost area either.
Once one becomes 65, it is not surprising about health issues causing more doctor appointments and higher health care monitoring. Focusing part of the day on meaningful exercise. The calendar is stretching out with return appointments, newly diagnoses health issue/medications.
In this order - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!
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Based on my experience in my elder law practice, this is emphatically 
true. So much so that I donât trust any facility that looks like a fancy hotel lobby. That is for show, imho to make the adult children feel better. It has nothing to do with the things that matter. Staffing ratios and training and treatment, activities, transportation, rules re: pets, security, flexibility with diets, laundry, cleaning, medication management, rules re: visitors, overnight staffing and emergency protocol, stepped up services/memory care - those are some of the things to drill down on. If your parent has diabetes and needs insulin, that raises additional care issues that many places are not equipped for.
Just assume places prioritize filling beds, and understand the less attention they pay someone the more profitable they are (exception being those services they get added fees for).
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