How Much Do You think You Need to Retire/What Age Will You/Spouse Retire: General Retirement Issues (Part 2)

Can we start Roth IRAs for our minor children (under 18) or do they have to be the ones to have earned the income?

They need to have earned income.

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@srparent15 Medicare sign up has added a lot more ‘choices’ so therefore has become more complicated; they added ‘Medicare Advantage’. Use to be Medicare, purchasing a Medicare supplemental insurance, and purchasing a Medicare D drug plan. Pretty straight forward. Now you decide if you go Medicare Advantage (which could include a drug plan) or go with a Supplemental insurance and Medicare D. Medicare A is the basic, which if you are drawing SS - as soon as you are 65 they will take Medicare A premiums out of your SS.

If H continues working and has insurance, you still sign up for Medicare A (the time range is a 6 month prior - 3 months before and through 3 months after the month he turns 65, so it may be a total of a 7 month period, IDK. ) Depending on whatever factors, his workplace insurance may be primary and MC secondary, or the other way around.

If you have the insurance for H and you, then your insurance may be primary or secondary to his MC.

My H turns 65 in June and I turn 65 in Oct. I found out by my insurance company (BCBS of AL) that my insurance pays primary and his MC will be secondary.

I will retire the end of Sept, so will make the ‘big’ decisions on the Medicare plans and either MC Advantage Plan or insurance supplement and/or Medicare D drug plan.

It seems Medicare Advantage is having a lot more choices - PPO, HMO, etc - so a lot to syphon through.

We are attending a meeting which is supposed to cover MC and SS. Will see what we learn. Have already looked at some of the on-line info from MC web site. I printed some of a publication that I have also ordered
waiting on the mail but printed enough to work off of.

I cannot imagine how a more elderly person or someone who is not computer and info savvy can make good decisions w/o help of family/friends.

We are getting lots of phone calls and some mail - the phone calls mention Medicare (like they are from the gov’t agency) or say Medicare Advisor. Sales agents trying to direct you to sign up for ‘their’ plan. Ugh!

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We get constant phone calls already about medicare!! For awhile already. I can’t figure out why we have been getting them. Regardless, if that’s a sign of things to come and when he hits 65 it’s going to get worse, omg, we better not have a land line anymore by then so he can field all those calls!

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However, most PPO or HMO networks are likely to be smaller than the “network” of “providers who take Medicare” (about 72% of primary care physicians take new Medicare patients, and an additional 21% take Medicare for continuing patients).

Probably the main attraction of a Medicare Advantage plan is if your providers take that plan but not traditional Medicare, or if the cost is lower for the coverage.

@ucblaumnus I know our PCP does take a particular Medicare Advantage plan that may be with a wide network (Blue Cross). I will learn more as we go.

Yes, the original Medicare Advantage plans were more regional, and for some seniors that don’t go anywhere, they may have the best price for the services they need.

We are willing to pay more for what benefits us. Understanding the current Medicare plans/options is like eating an elephant where you have to go one bite at a time - and give you time to step away for a while. I started taking it in and discussing with DH – and he can’t wrap his head around it and is glad I am willing to lead on this information search.

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Thanks for all those thoughtful replies on LTC insurance! Sounds like some investigation into exclusions, limitations, etc. will be in order.

My parents were also very independent for most of their lives - they gradually needed in-home care (first 2 hours a day, then (after strokes) 24 hour care). We were able to keep them out of institutions for the most part and my dad passed in my home - a blessing and it was due to them having a lot of savings and living frugally to afford (wonderful) aides. Just wanted to note that for many the very end of life is a lot different than mid-old-age where you can still do 80% of stuff yourself.

I’m keeping all that in mind and trying to figure out a plan. I don’t like the institutional option (have seen it very up close with others’ parents) - thinking there has to be a way. Co-housing maybe? (been googling that!)
https://www.aarp.org/livable-communities/learn/housing/info-2013/what-is-cohousing-aarp.html

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@Jolynne_Smyth I know of some group homes in our area - and know of a few RNs that own/run. So there can be some range of accommodations, but the elderly person’s needs may cause one to need skilled care (nursing home) or memory care unless family and resources can prevent.

MIL’s failure to ambulate w/o help (some people have strength to transfer to wheel chair and can manage w/o much walking) and needing diaper changes through the night (almost totally incontinent of urine), let alone the increasing dementia. Those things made the path to skilled care the decision.

A family with local siblings that band together to arrange for one senior can work - MIL’s older sister had very bad dementia but was docile and compliant – key was the family arrangements – a sibling had a rotation schedule to be overnight with mom due to the dementia – and the mom lived with a daughter/SIL where one worked from home, and the other siblings took mom on the weekends. The work load was spread, and most of the other siblings/spouses were retired or had very flexible schedules.

I know one gal that lived local to her mom (who was in fairly good health) sold her own home to purchase mother’s home, which was able to have a wing built on for the mom’s accommodations. It gave them the flexibility to have mom’s declining years be with oversight under the same roof.

The saying ‘health is wealth’ truly comes into play as one ages.

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Those are a lot of great creative ways to deal with the needs of aging.

Board and Cares/ group homes can be wonderful- they can vary a lot in quality, though. So they require a lot of research.

One issue I see come up with adding onto a house for a parent to live in is what happens on the estate plan side. If the parent pays for it, other beneficiaries can get bent out of shape that their inheritances are diminished while their sib’s property value goes up. You’d be amazed how people get around these issues. If at all possible the family should work out the plan together.

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Thanks SOSConcern & CATCapeparent.

Yes - there are a lot of options. But
 having dealt with my parents’ physical/mental decline over 15 years, all the options seem (frankly)
 bad! :slight_smile: Except probably for having your kids take a large role in the care/coordination of care, and having as much $$$ saved as humanly possible.

My parents did so much for me and were so wonderful that caring for them was the least I could do. But it really was a lot & I don’t think I’d want to put on my own kids


Would love a mixed-aged co-housing environment!

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@Jolynne_Smyth your comments “My parents did so much for me and were so wonderful that caring for them was the least I could do. But it really was a lot & I don’t think I’d want to put on my own kids
” are exactly how I feel. There are so many things I see that goes on that people my age have to deal with their parents that it is so hard and things that I just don’t want my kids to have to go through ever. My parents are amazing and they have an amazing caregiver, are able to live at home, are mobile, my father at nearly 83 still goes to work 3 days/week, but at the same time sometimes thinks we have nothing going on in our own lives or families. This year in some ways has been easier in the context that we haven’t traveled because of Covid, but once we are able to it will be one more thing.

On the other side of the equation, my husband is an only child, he has a 91 year old mother who lives in an independent care facility which fortunately she was willing to go into about 4 years ago, but she is a bitter old woman. Her place doesn’t allow visitors during covid and she yells at him for that, among a million other things that are all his fault. I could go on. It’s really sad to see but he’s still there for her regardless of how she treats him day in and day out. Thank god she’s able to get some care and attention there and has social security and a pension because she couldn’t afford it otherwise. But at the same time she is starting to be in the need of extra care and she can’t understand that you can’t get someone for $10/hr and she doesn’t have a ton of $ either, so it’s just complicated all around.

I don’t know what the right type of place could be but I wouldn’t mind an over 65 place or whatever the age is where I have my own house but has activities and such. The problem I hear though about a lot of the places is people can’t have their families and/or grandkids stay over because they don’t meet the age requirements and I don’t know if I would want that if I’m physically and mentally competent and don’t need the extra care but just want the social aspect so I guess we all have to find the right mix of things. Or, maybe I’ll just say to heck with it and go on a cruise for 6 months every year and have all my needs taken care of. LOL

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srparent - it’s a lot to think about, right? And the scenarios are unknown. At least with planning for our kids’ college there are five or six (probably) clear paths with a few discrete variables (money being a big one).

So, so many factors in play when planning for latter part of life. Health-wise your parents and mother-in law sound generally incredible (although sad about the emotional side of your husband’s scenario and good health can still require family assistance, as you said!).

Possibilities might include - healthy & 100 % independent till 65, then devastating health issues and in need of lots of care until 80. Or healthy & mentally sharp until 78 then only minor assistance needed with daily tasks until 80 (with maybe a short stay in hospice). Myriad paths.

I was drawn to co-housing because it includes all ages and people apparently pitch in to help each other more, but everyone still has their own little place. Not many of these though!

Feel like the boomer generation has driven so many changes at every stage — I keep waiting for a positive, transformative vision for aging (vs. those depressing nursing homes :scream: ) Not quite seeing it yet!! Going to keep trying to figure it out


@CateCAParent that is why the gal had to purchase the property. The mom’s estate is with the payoff from the sale of the home at that point in time. I imagine all siblings were on board with the plans. The mom is going to be spending down some, but she is saving a lot by being in ‘her own home’. Once you figure the construction costs and the time she is continuing to live there


The in-law’s home will eventually be purchased by the grand-daughter. However until that time, if two of the brothers want to be ‘bought out’ - another brother and DH plan to hang in with costs and have use of the place. Up to them if they want to stay in or cash out – but that won’t happen in the next few years probably.

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We do have LTC policies, purchased from via employee group plan discount. We liked the fact that they cover in care help as well as nursing homes. It gives us peace of mind. For my policy I have option to change my mind (get rebate) if rate increases too much
 costs me about $10 extra month.

My mother had low income but carried a LTC policy for many years. It gave her (and us) peace of mind. She was hesitant to have outside help (from LTC policy or Hospice) until the very end. I enrolled her for LTC coverage (and made arrangements with local hursing company), but with just one short nurse visit before he death I did not make a claim. No regrets about her having the policy, which was from “the good old days” of better value. It meant we never had financial worries when discussing options for her care 
 which just happened to be during Covid times when we avoided outsiders as long as possible.

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$10/mo is nothing. I don’t blame you for having something like that. But many people have plans where they are trying to sell them for hundreds a month and they don’t cover squat. But at $120/year it’s most likely not going to make or break the bank.

One of my biggest regrets is that my husband has a former business associate (referral source) in the insurance business. After we got married (8+ years ago) we decided to meet with him to check into some life insurance. My husband was already 54, we had a term policy already that will take him until he’s into his 80’s but were looking at whole life. My instincts are usually good but this time not so much. Anyway, at that age it was going to be expensive but we would buy a plan that wans’t going to have a ton of coverage but just something with a decent payout that we could pay off in 10 years. I happened to get up to go to the bathroom and his “friend” made his move on my unsuspecting husband. I came back to the office and suddenly my husband tells me that we should get life insurance on me. Something like $5m. Now mind you, what we were getting on him was next to nothing, maybe only talking about a couple hundred thousand. I’m 10 years younger so I was only in my 40’s then. I looked at my husband and the guy and flat out said no insurance on me is necessary and told my husband why would he think he would need insurance on me? My house is paid off, there are provisions in our pre-nuptial agreement already for him to be able to stay there for a certain amount of time if I die before him, we own a condo together that he will get half off or possibly all of, he’s the beneficiary of plenty of my retirement assets and there is plenty for my kids plus my kids have a father as well. It was so absurd. But the bottom line, buyer beware because many of these guys are looking for the hit for their commission. I should have smelled a rat when he tried with the upsell. When they sent our documents for my husband they then still kept trying to push a higher plan. My regret is we got any plan at all. We are paying a heck of a lot of $ for insurance that won’t make a dent when he dies. We have 2 more years to go and I can’t wait until we’re just done with it as it’s money we can really use for some of our other expenses and we would’ve been better off just having invested it. So for anyone buying any of this stuff, if it’s dirt cheap that’s one thing but if it’s not, pay attention to your instincts. I wish I had!

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Yikes - BooHiss to the shady insurance salesman.

Just to clarify, the $10/month I mentioned is just for the LTC option to allow me to get my money rebated if I change my mind due to future rate increases. My total payment for self is $97/month (older husband is $126/month)
 we reduced our unnecessary/ever-more-expensive term coverage to help offset the cost. I think my mother’s older/better plan was about $50/month.

Our Genworth group plans are less expensive than other non-group plans we investigated, but they are still pricey
 took us a long time to decide (and at first we covered just my husband). Many couples prefer to be “self insured” instead. The trick of course with planning exercises is that nobody knows the future variables of health, lifespan etc

Has anyone consulted with a ‘wealth manager’?

Ha ha we don’t have a ton of ‘wealth’ - but all the discussions about LTC insurance, 401k, pensions, college costs, emergency funds, health care variable scenarios made me think I need to consult with someone who can guide me through the big picture of it all (who is not selling something - what a galling scenario srparent15! I’d have been mad too!).

Do have a referral to someone from some very savvy and ethical friends. Wondering about giving one person access to all our info though
? :grimacing:

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I recommend the book Being Mortal. Only lightly covers finances, but I found it really helpful when my dad was entering hospice.

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Yes, “Being Mortal” is an excellent book. It helped me understand no-extreme-treatments decision my mother had made years ago (after caring for her own parents)
 made our hospice journey with her easier. It also was thought provoking for my own future.

@Jolynne_Smyth - As we reached retirement age, we opted to hire a fee-only** financial planner. But in the several years before that we attended a few different 2-night classes at our local community colleges, led by financial planners - class fee included one (or more) free private consultation. We did not totally click with any of those planners, but it was REALLY helpful for getting us to gather paperwork, think about future. After the first class we decided to investigate LTC insurance. (The instructor / planner did not sell it, but he was a big proponent).

** Fee-Only Financial Planner vs. Fee-Based: What’s the Difference? - NerdWallet

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We use a wealth manager who is a certified financial planner. He has worked with many employees of H’s company. The planner began his career specializing in helping engineers plan for retirement, and he came very highly recommended by people we trust. We lost a lot in our retirement accounts in the late 2000’s, and those who used this planner had more limited losses (and did very well during the recovery). H went to a lunch & learn session the planner put on at work, and he really liked the guy. We then booked a no cost meeting to talk, and we decided to use him to help us. Our only regret is that we didn’t do it sooner! I do not have any issues paying the percentage of assets we pay 
 we believe he has done much better for us than we could have done ourselves, and his ongoing work for us gives us peace of mind.

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