moved - thx for the heads up, @1214mom
I think you may have meant to post this on the other thread.
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He didnât go into detail, but I think it was a lump sum. Iâm pretty sure there is no affect on future SS. In other words, if you take it at 62 and repay the money within a year you can then take SS at 65 at the rate you wouldâve gotten at 65 regardless of the flipflop (or higher if your new job has a nigher salary!).
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Agree on not relying on an inheritance. I am helping my in laws right now with a succession of a relative of my MIL which could potentially be significant for MIL and her siblings. But it would be foolish for me to assume any large part of that will be inherited by my wife someday. My in laws have always made emotional financial decisions and have never intended on leaving a large estate to their heirs. Neither have we counted on it. I donât think that will change even if their estate grows significantly.
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It wasnât until very recently that my Mom started to pass anything down. We have never counted on getting anything from either side. And there were never any subsidies handed out.
My DW has a friend whose MIL paid for plenty of trip and such. Always gave the grandkids stuff. They went on an airplane resort(usually Disney) vacation every year and sometimes two. I always said whoever marries those kids better be ready to provide for them as they have become accustomed to a certain level of lifestyle especially the daughter who ended up being an elementary teacher. Good job but not a crazy high paying one.
DW and I were definitely were not spoiled growing up. We had lean years after college. As we have had success we have had to walk a fine line with our kids. I think we have done a pretty good job. Both girls worked while in HS and paid many expenses on their own. DW made DD1 pay her own sorority dues while in college.
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Our son knows that he will inherit everything we have, however much or little is left when we pass. {deleted}
(Sorry, probably not a good idea to post anything here that I would not want our son to find should he ever look. He knows I live here.)
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Iâm interested what choices he would make differently if he had that information? And why would they be worse?
For example, I hear young people saying itâs too expensive to have kids nowadays. Some people might make a different decision about how many kids theyâd have if they knew they would be set in later life due to an inheritance.
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You can never count on an inheritance, so it is best to work with your own resources, not on the hope or prospect of future windfalls. As an only child, our son can keep an eye on us and be fairly certain of what heâll end up with as time goes on. Thatâs all he needs to know.
I have no crystal ball, so there is no telling what his future choices will be with or without inheritances. Not sure where the idea of âworseâ came from.
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An only child is a situation that they also may have a spouse or a significant other to help share the burdens with parental health decline/death, but no siblings.
I have a niece on my side of the family that is an only child - she has a great husband and now has her first child. Her husband has a brother with family. I also have a nephew who is married to an only child and they have an only child (I believe that this will be their only child due to their age and circumstances). On my husbandâs side, one of his brothers has an only child (son) who recently got married â brother and SIL are both in poor health, so that may be challenging in the future â they live in same town - nephew/wife have excellent jobs there and nephew bought a home about 1 year out of college there.
We raised our two DDs (25 months apart in age) to continue to develop a loving relationship because their dad and I were older parents and one doesnât know when we no longer will be with them. DH and I are working on continuing better than average health (despite some significant health issues, mostly resolved). We are in good financial shape, but can do better on estate paperwork (if we keep living in our current state), and other things to work out. We have cemetery spots, instructions for cremation, but want to get the headstone purchased and most information ready â out of state, so next time there.
My parentsâ funds left to my siblings and me did not change our lifestyle or our lives, other than the funds helped with more financial security. DHâs parents did leave a house and some small assets to DH and his brothers - and it was important to his mother to leave the house to the sons â her parents were able to leave something to her/her siblings, and she wanted to be able to do that as well.
Weâve had this discussion on CC many times before, but I donât believe that children have responsibility to care for aging parents. Weâve been adamant with our son that he has no responsibility for our twilight years. Thatâs all on us; he has his own life to live. Same with our parents. Their âwealthâ will need to fund their end-of-life care, whatever that looks like. Weâve also told our son that we plan to die with a dollar. Plan accordingly.
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Children IMHO do have some obligations to see that parents are being properly cared for - not necessarily âresponsibilityâ as the parents can have the ability to lay out plans and funds for their care. There are circumstances where a son or daughter needs to check up on their parent(s), and certainly having a relationship with the parents â can and will visit, spend vacation time together, whatever.
If our DDs need our help, be it with schedule help with Gkids, or other things, we look to doing what we reasonably can do.
My soon to be 70 YO sister is looking to go âsomewhere warmâ in January for celebrating her 70th birthday. She lives in IA, as do her sons/families. If THEY want to help fulfill her wish. Not on me (I live somewhere warm). We have a mutual friend that is retiring July 2024 - I have suggested a joint trip that both of them strongly desire to go, and I will see if my schedule is good for it. Do not need to get sucked into fulfilling my sisterâs desires when there are more appropriate people to do so.
I definitely think that children have a responsibility to make sure their parents are cared for. Not a responsibility to physically do it themselves if they donât want to, but to check and make sure they are doing okay. To ensure that nobody is taking advantage of them and that they are safe, not living in the streets or unsafe. So many seniors get dementia, most have memory issues, if we canât count on our kids to see to it that weâre not the bag ladies wandering around and sleeping on the grass, who can we count on? My grandmother would have been one of those poor people, if my mother (who became her step-child at adulthood) hadnât made sure that she was taken care of. She spent all her money, had medical issues and severe dementia, and didnât know what was going on. Of course me or my sister would have stepped up if necessary, but my mom made sure she was in a lovely adult home that was perfect for her. One can live their own life and make sure their parents are not abandoned also.
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That is exactly what we have told our kids. Our parents were able to fund their golden years without issue. My MIL has a lot of cash plus a house. And she is pretty elderly. She will be fine too.
We would like our kids to visit us in our golden years.
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That is our plan, too. The last one of us leaves a dollar. 
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I was responding to your suggestion that heâd be âbetter offâ not knowing. Hence the implication that heâd be worse off knowing, which is what Iâd wondered about. Though I understand that itâs not your place to tell him about the inheritance.
I had a childless aunt whoâd always made clear she would leave her money to me and my brother. We knew it wouldnât be that much (tens of thousands of dollars each) but it was still influential in house buying decisions (we were in our 30s when she died). If it had been 10x that then it would have been life changing.
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I didnât say âbetter off.â I said I believe it would be best if he lives his life without that particular knowledge, meaning that his future decisions should not be influenced by promises that may or may not materialize.
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Good news for some 401(k) contributors!
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I am reading myself cross-eyed. Easy question here for some of yâall âŠ
If I want to convert $25k from my non-Roth 401k, I can put 7,500 into my Roth IRA, correct? Can I open multiple Roth IRAs with the rest? Can I fund dhâs Roth IRA? I want to move $25k because thatâs what I feel comfortable doing so as not to push up into next tax bracket as it will be taxed. Or is my only option the $7,500 in my Roth and pay those taxes and then the remainder in an IRA, which doesnât doesnât change the tax status but avoids RMD?
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I assume you mean rollover 401k? If so, yes, you can covert from that (pretax) 401k or a tIRA) into a Roth. Brokerages like Vanguard make it rather easy to convert with one button.
Retirement accounts (Rothâs & IRAs) are personally owned, so you cannot transfer money from your pretax 401k to your spouseâs Roth.
You can have multiple Rothâs or IRAâs.
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Just to make sure ⊠are you saying that I canât move $7,500 from my 401k to dhâs Roth?
TIA