I’m not going to specifically answer the original question because it’s not going to mean much to anyone else anyway. What I will say is that we have a list of things we need to have happen before we feel we can comfortably retire. I have a savings goal, understanding that the market can affect that quickly. I wish to get my house paid off and in a condition that won’t require substantial upgrades or maintenance (roof, heating and AC updated and a deck built and landscape in a condition I can take care of it). We purchased our home with the idea I wouldn’t need to move for awhile after retirement. I want to have all major purchases paid for such as cars etc. and have no debt (currently we only have our mortgage). I also want to have a fund set aside strictly for medical payments. We are currently about 5 years away from our goals. If we meet these goals I am confident we can retire comfortably and won’t outlive our funds.
Thanks for getting this thread back on track.
I like having goals! SWAN. Good for you @lvvcsf
Don’t feel too weird about the jewelry unless you price out what you would get in selling, my FIL was convinced MIL’s jewelry was “Valuable” but, really, it was hard to sell, and anything that did sell went way way way below what he thought it was worth, and you pay a share to the seller.
This jewelry won’t be sold. But some of the pieces are worth more than 6 figures so the last thing I want is for my siblings to feel like I received a substantial amount of jewelry/jewels for my heirs someday while there’s nothing for them to pass on to theirs.
@srparent15 even if the jewelry is not being sold, it could feel more fair if the others realized the net resale proceeds are nothing like the believed value.
In chatting with a jeweler friend I heard about an item purchased for 5 figures, presumed to be worth six figures, the jeweler said he could recreate it for $3k!
On the other hand it may be the sentimental value that is most meaningful and it will be lovely to share some items with nieces.
My intention is in fact to give some pieces to my nieces but when I say these are 6 figure pieces I literally mean 6 figure pieces. This is not a random guess or appraisal as to what someone “thinks” they can be sold for etc. It’s not like a piece of jewelry that someone paid $10k for and a random appraisal was made for $100k. These are not family heirlooms that have been passed down for generations or anything like that.
Bottom line is I know I’m getting all the jewelry because our family feels that jewelry should stay within the family hence with the women but it’s not like there’s an equivalent offset for other things to my brothers. Since I’ll be stuck cleaning out the house I guess that will ultimately be an offset lol. It’ll take a year to clean it out when the time comes!
Wow - I’m in shock about such pricey jewelry pieces. It’s good there is a family member who understands the value and handling things.
My girls received from things from their grandmother on their dad’s side that they were wearing at times. I made them gather it up and take it to be at least casually appraised so they would understand the value of things. They were shocked…a simple little gold chain bracelet worth that much? On the other hand, a big hunk of eccentric bracelet with diamonds and emeralds was not worth all that much as it was ugly, and the stones of cheap quality. The only value was melted down for another use.
We have a close friend, mid-60s, who began his retirement today. 
He is an OB/gyn. That’s got to be one of the most demanding professions there is, so I’m happy for him. He said it will be hard at first, because he loved practicing.
Demanding since those babies come out when they want to come out and can’t all be controlled deliveries, lol. Also, one of the highest malpractice costs so good for him for enjoying his retirement. My ob/gyne has grandkids the same age as 3 of my kids, lol. One of his grandsons actually just graduated hs with my son who he delivered. I keep waiting for him to announce he’s retiring, but he’s still delivering babies and I think he’s still trying to look young, but thankfully, only once have I ever been bumped for a baby delivery by him and he’s always on time which is a big plus.
Some of these were gifts my father bought for my mother for significant milestone events. 50th birthday, big anniversary maybe, or another birthday, I can’t quite remember. But they’re gorgeous pieces. I will be so nervous to ever wear them but you can’t just leave these sitting in the safe all the time!
The one problem though is I am pretty low key and prefer not to have anyone really know my personal business and count my $. Too many busy bodies where I live. So, wouldn’t want that target on me either. I’ve always preferred to not raise my kids in that environment and as I’ve said before we don’t live that way.
@srparent15 the above is something you posted on May 4th. You don’t want “busy bodies” knowing your financial situation, but you seem awfully interested in theirs.
Not to be alarmist, but wearing expensive jewelry can make one a target for crime as well.
Rightly or wrongly, I am one who believes jewelry should stay with the women in the family. Or, at least, the women should have right of first refusal. However, I do think the division of assets should be fair. As such, from a retirement perspective as that relates to potential inheritances/bequests, I’d much rather inherit an asset that generated cash flow rather than a piece of jewelry (no matter how much it is worth).
If the money/cash flow weren’t needed for my own retirement and if I were of a more sentimental bent, I might feel differently. Regardless, those decisions belong to the testator anyway.
Ya totally agree with you. The good news, none of it lessens what liquid assets any of the others get. One of my siblings gets some other expensive stuff that has always been important to him and neither my other sibling nor I care about it. If it’s worth more than the jewelry, I have no idea, nor care. We don’t keep score and at any given time when we were younger we all had different needs and went to different schools/graduate schools. We were just lucky to be able to go to school without loans, hopefully learn fiscal responsibility and learn to be charitable as well.
@fallgirl Quite the opposite. That’s the exact point I was making. Most people here flaunt everything and talk about everything so that there is no way to avoid knowing everyone’s business because no matter where you go everyone knows. When I got divorced, I had people who were not my friends coming up to me and asking me specific financial questions. It was not their business. I later would have my close friends also tell me about people asking them questions about my divorce. I don’t ask people about their financial situations, and the last thing I need is to have these wannabes in my face. Knowing what kind of car someone drives, isn’t being in their business, afterall, it’s kind of hard to avoid knowing the car someone drives if they live on your street and/or brag about it in a conversation with you, or a trip they take, or the like. There’s those who know how to have an in person conversation and engage with people without talking about those things and there are those who have no clue. Most people around here have no clue. Mainly because they have little self worth and don’t know what it means to work hard and earn a living.
Sure I notice what car a person drives or if they have a very large house or mention a trip. I don’t presume to make judgements on their self worth or how hard I think they worked for it.
My MIL had a ring that was her mother’s. When my MIL died, her sister came looking for the ring, claiming that she wanted to “keep it in the family” – ie, give it to one of her daughters. My husband thought, “I’m in the family!” and refused to give it to his aunt. I wear it daily and will give it to one of my sons, who can either give it to their wife, sell it, or have it reset. We are the family. IMO, my husband’s aunt was wrong.
What percentage of net income did you save for retirement? And was it enough to meet your initial retirement goals or did you have to adjust?
I have always (since 22) saved at least 5% of my income (because that’s how much my federal employer matched). Once I could afford to, I saved the max I could for retirement (18K and then 26K because I was over 50). I think the average person needs to save more than 5% for retirement.
So, this aunt wanted a ring that was her own mother’s?
I’m with Hoggirl on this one and also think the women in the family should have right of first refusal.
I would be super irritated if there was a piece of my mom’s jewelry that I specifically requested and my nephew’s wife was wearing the ring instead, especially if there were no female children to inherit it afterwards.
We had issues when my mil passed and my fil refused to part with any of her jewelry. My sil wanted some pieces for herself and wanted to make sure that the two granddaughters had some pieces to inherit. To this day, we have no idea what he did with the jewelry. I was thinking that perhaps he would start giving some of the pieces to the granddaughters now that they are older but that hasn’t happened. It’s possible that he has given them to his new wife or even sold them. Lots of hurt feelings around that still.