We got a pretty good idea of post-retirement expenses during Covid isolation. H’s commute alone is $600/mo. Looked at his payroll deductions and so much of that will disappear at retirement.
Could probably retire now, but H isn’t interested. Plans to work til at least 12/2028 (SS FRA). He just bought a new office chair for working at home (which will likely be two days a week once the fed government reopens offices), and he said “it has a twelve year warranty.” Ok, then – he’ll work til 72!
I’ve been gone for several weeks, a couple of those spent with a couple/couples at the retirement stage of life. We had some really interesting conversations about what we are doing and why. Lots of food for thought and interesting to see different approaches to the same basic decision – when to retire.
What an a$$! You earned that money, what business is it of him that you were making too much money? Wow!
As for the 529, I’m with you. It’s been on my mind for a few weeks and I haven’t had a chance to start to collect some of it and I’ve been meaning to as I have some tuition bills due in the next month. Well of course, then last week happened, and then Monday happened and I thought “oh sh*t, I’m really in trouble”. But then, Tuesday and Wednesday happened and finally today and I took my opportunity to cash out for my first semester’s tuition for 2 of my kids. I haven’t taken anything out for room and board for 2 of my kids (1 isn’t one I mentioned for tuition) because I need to see the COA that I am allowed to take and I just want to take it out for this semester since I think it has to be used this semester. I can’t hold it until next semester, which may be your issue. You can’t withdraw it and hang onto it for later medical school for your daughter. You can however, move it to a 529 that’s just more conservative or a money market 529 and let it sit.
We are finally going to be empty nesters in just over a month. I’m going to call it September 1. While it will be expensive to visit my 4 kids (3 in college) as they are each in a different state and only one is within driving. I am hoping I will be able to figure out how much per month we really need to live off of. No food for them, lower utility costs, gas bills, car insurance can be decreased to (away at school), no high school fees and expenses, stuff like that, and no child support either. Then we can finally see what our true costs/needs are and possibly make some projections. My husband can take social security now but has no plans to, but it’s nice to know if we need to it’s there. Just really trying to figure out the cost differential but worried that all the visiting will wind up being a wash with the savings of them not being here and that’s not good either.
Strongly disagree. Every boss has to be concerned about pay equity across jobs, particularly in today’s environment. If SincereLove is a male making say, xx% more than all the females in his department doing similar jobs, the boss has a legal obligation to be concerned about SL’s pay scale.
This is not about pay equity. If it were, then the issue is that others are underpaid, and that the women doing the same job and have the same experience and same number of years of experience (not necessarily at that company), should be paid the same, but that is not this employee’s fault or issue. The boss legal obligation is to be concerned with the other employee’s pay, not why one employee’s is too high and harass him about it. He didn’t set his own salary. He also should look within his own department and figure out what the problem is, but again, there is nothing in what @SincererLove said that implied it had anything to do with pay inequality.
I live in a school district where some teachers are making almost 200k/year. Are they overpaid relative to others? Yes? But instead of complaining to them, it’s the system that has to change. It’s not their fault that they have worked there that long and earned those salaries and hence now the stakeholders are upset.
@srparent15 the boss is ‘under pressure’ to have people in the lower tiers of pay range – so in DH’s company, they had 4 levels. Even though more experienced/long term employees should be valued, they often are not.
MIL taught 1st grade all but one year of her entire teaching career; she was ‘expert’ at teaching kids to read. Their superintendent’s wife home schooled their kids AFTER they had MIL for 1st grade (that superintendent eventually became superintendent at my next state public school system). Students from all the lower elementary classes came to her to pull a loose tooth too…I doubt that school systems would ‘allow’ that any more… One year her principal moved her to teach 4th grade and had a personal friend teach 1st that one year (gal didn’t stay or didn’t like that grade level, and MIL got her 1st grade back). They had aids at her school, but her principal required her to do play ground duty with her class (she had a bad hip but put off hip replacement surgery because she was afraid she would not wake up from anesthesia) - this is bitter cold winter IA. She taught this principal when he was in 1st grade. She was at the top of the pay scale, which in her district is years of teaching plus 18 graduate course hours. She was so bitter, that she waited until a few days before the cut off to say she was retiring – she didn’t want to be a part of the send off luncheon etc for retiring teachers in her school district.
So in a job, if one doesn’t have an opportunity to ‘move up’, one has to be totally aware of outside job market so doesn’t hit the company wide layoff. However if you are over a certain age or only female in dept etc can fight it off. Same thing with equal pay – when one is aware of it; I had a very good friend that did fight for equal pay and did win her case – but she had to put up with a lot of grief (and she was a government employee).
Unfortunately, corporate will tell managers that they need to cut payroll by a certain percentage when they do layoffs. So to get the number, they lay-off those making more to make a lesser impact personnel wise.
It’s unfortunate but a reality in today’s corporate culture.
I know! Sad, but true. Happens in many fields. It’s sort of like how the big law firms pay outrageous first year salaries and they expect those young associates to bill crazy hours. Ultimately though they will lay you off if you don’t bring in clients or just keep you at a certain salary.
Or the flip side of people thinking attorneys make so much money. Some do, but many do not. If you don’t have a book of business, you really won’t make these high salaries and partner or not, they will let you go because the expense of having you on the payroll is a detriment to the firm.
I know it’s so much worse in corporate. My father in law was laid off in his 50’s from a tech company. Why? Because they could hire someone much younger to do the same thing and back then (30 years ago) the person would be more skilled in that tech area since all that computer stuff was just starting to gain real traction. So they cut him and hired them. Now of course there’s such a need with the tons of tech companies that he probably wouldn’t be laid off and salaries are through the roof. My daughter has told me these internships even are paying $40-50/hr. Beyond nuts for a 20 year old.
I agree 100% with the poster earlier that talked about tracking your spending for a year or two.
I would put everything spent in one of two columns either wants or needs. I think a lot of people spend money because they don’t have time to do things themselves. One example is lawncare. Many people don’t cut their own grass because the don’t feel like they have time. And I agree with them but when you are retired you do have time to do those types of things. We tend to eat out more because we are too tired to cook or don’t have the time. That changes in retirement.
I often contend that retired people spend a lot less than many people would expect.
I’m fascinated by the comments to track spending for a year or two. What is that referring to exactly? We’ve always done a household budget that tracks all money in/out…for the last 30 years. Everything from the big household expenses down to magazine subscriptions. We start and end each year with a review of budgeted vs actuals and sit down together to discuss the following year’s budget. I guess I assumed everyone did that!
We don’t. We know that the income is greater then expenses. We just do snapshot of the assets monthly and reconcile all bank and investment accounts.
I/we definitely do NOT do that. Never have. Maybe someday in retirement, when I have nothing better to do. 
My indicator is when the checking/savings accounts increase and decrease each month. It’s kinda like losing, maintaining or gaining weight…calories in and calories out. The scale tells the story.
@srparent15 a friend’s H went right from law school to get extra degree or training in tax law - he is killing it. In early 60’s now - he just won a prestigious award. Only 8 from his large public law school (in top 25/country) have won this specific award.
Nephew chose not to go to NYC law firm after law school (he was #2 in his class and both he and #1 interned with a global 545 attorney law firm in NYC). He is a DA now - hired in as Asst DA to run for DA as DA was retiring, and had committed to continue for two terms (8 years) - then maybe onto other things. He also has PhD in Political Philosophy (obtained before law school; also taught tenure track history/4 years at college after PhD). Also was a Rhodes finalist; his wife has PhD/Political Philosophy. Not driven by money alone/first but QOL and the career he wants – he also does speak at political philosophy events and his book which came out of his PhD dissertation is used in colleges (hard cover and soft cover publications). His W and he are co-editing a book that they also contributed chapters; in editing process now.
Almost anybody who wants to go to law school can get admitted somewhere - so there is a supply/demand and quality issues – and many of these students have taken out a lot of student loans. Even at a top rated public/private law school, being in a top tier of the class.
We had a lawyer that was part of a two person law firm. He decided to join a bigger firm. He definitely was under pressure with billable hours and it was in 15 minute increments, phone and in-person. But he did use the info network on a specific issue and saved us money.
@gpo613 I agree how one can spend less money in retirement - they can perhaps live in an area where they have QOL but was not a place where they could have had their career job. H and I would occasionally go out to eat for lunch with coworkers or for various events – many eat out for lunch and often dinner a lot. We tend to just eat out now in evenings/weekends for special occasions or when ‘the kids’ are visiting - we have some restaurants that they don’t have where they live that are nice to eat at on occasion. Once in a while we even will go to lunch for a special occasion.
I thought we would spend down more when DH stopped working, but we haven’t. I cut back on my hours recently as I am weeks away from retirement. I am turning on SS Oct 1 as I turn 65 then, but we will spend down a little more before we turn on DH’s SS. I don’t like the ‘penalty’ of 5/9 of 1% for each month before our full retirement age of 66 and 4 months. DH has a lot of family longevity even though I ‘plan’ to outlive DH…
DH always loved to cut the yard, in and out of retirement. But when he was away for work travel, I hired a reasonable family owned business to cut the grass and do some other landscaping. Now in retirement, DH even wants to cut the hedge - he use to hate that job but now it is something he wants to do (it is prickly type of hedge as we have a brick wall and drop off so keeping anyone from going through the hedge).
@momofboiler1 DH likes to charge everything, so it is easy to track his spending. He is a ‘minimalist’ in many ways. I am the financial guru of our household. DD1/SIL have a monthly budget/weekly review – they need to build up savings for eventual home ownership (they are having their 3rd child in 4 years of marriage, so lots of other expenses and also may not be in their career city at this point). DD2 is single and is learning to control her on-line shopping; she has a good salary and now with a job move may be ready to look in a year or so for home ownership.
Some spend a lot of vacations and budget accordingly - in and out of retirement.
Our financial guy has assured us that with the nest egg that we have, unless we go ‘crazy’ in spending, we are fine in the long haul.
I have a fair amount of jewelry. I was going to buy a piece for retirement, and still may do, but neither DD are super keen on jewelry (one is more interested than the other); have just one grand-daughter right now. I do have a few special nieces so am thinking about a special piece to go to each of them.
With more control over one’s time in retirement (and perhaps lower stress level) can also do some personal improvement like lose weight and get healthier with more exercise.
Our daughter started her detailed budget when she started her co-op. She sat down with H and they talked through everything to put on to it.
And yes, it is like calories in/calories out but it’s also nice to know what we are eating the most of ; )
I don’t keep a detailed budget, but I know our expenses and when non-monthly bills come around. My MIL has kept track of every penny, down to a pack of chewing gum, for the past 72 years. I almost suspect she went into assisted living because she doesn’t have much to track that way. She tells the same story three times in a single phone call, but she remembers to pull that ledger out of the desk drawer to enter the $10 she chips in for a friend’s gift.
I haven’t balanced my check book or reviewed expenses in detail since getting married many years ago. Funny thing is that I’m now in charge of balancing my boss’s checkbooks and reconciling credit card statements.
H takes care of that in our house. I look over things on occasion, and know the big picture. He prepares our taxes and I review them.
He is an engineer. I’m a CPA who worked decades in corporate finance/accounting.
I would never track spending down to the penny. It is basically what I do for a living and don’t want to do it at home. Wife is the same. But I have general estimates/averages for expenditures. Of course with a house, cars and kids something always comes up that is out of the ordinary.
Overall I just know when I retire I won’t spend as much as I do now. I have two kids and the wife and I have jobs. Definitely expenses wrapped around those for sure.
Also the goal will be to retire in a home/condo that is paid off. Most likely in a state with low real estate taxes.
Basically I live by the adage of start retirement with a paid off home, paid off cars and no debt. You really won’t need that much to live on. I am not a spender and really my wife isn’t either. I am in the mode of only buying something if something breaks.
Just like my diet, our finances are unremarkably consistent. We have a simple life. I know exactly what I’m “eating.” And tracking an expense such as subscriptions would fall below my expense review threshold for materiality. 
But I do think teaching financial review and discipline to your children is obviously smart to do.
Count me in as another person who doesn’t track anything. I have never balanced my checkbook, I just make sure I have enough money in the account. I have an idea of our expenses just by looking at the withdrawals in my various accounts but as long as we have a good cushion in the balances, I feel secure.
To be honest, I do all the investments in the family and somehow we’ve muddled through to have a very comfortable retirement.