Several things have happened the last couple of months which have changed the retirement picture a bit.
DH ended his career in Nov. The plan was to stay in until next Oct when we both are 65 (he turns 65 next June). Fortunately I work enough hours to pick up the health insurance - a very big out of pocket savings. He did have to get out of that work situation which was negatively affecting his health, but he is using his time on a technical hobby instead of focusing on getting some work satisfaction and bringing in income during the planned timeline.
DH can use his ECE degree/IT/Program Mgmt/ skills knowledge and abilities working contract/30 hours week/4 days a week. I told him Nov and Dec are a Sabbatical and he can return to a paid job situation in Jan. There is local work available - including similar work for a former boss at another company. He looks at how well the 401 K did this past year and is unmotivated to do paid work again due to seeing that amount. If we didn’t have projects to cash flow, or didn’t have grand-children, that would be one thing. I want to be able to spend some money in retirement on travel/travel expenses. When I complained about it being unfair that my work (RN in skilled care/rehab) pays half of what his career does at this point in life - he thinks it is OK if I want to stop and pay all the extra money for COBRA insurance. He is not thinking clearly - burning money in a ridiculous manner. How hard I have had to work for income returning to the job market (after raising the kids due to his work travel and leaving a career job when I didn’t want to but needed to with raising the kids) and how relatively low his income was in start up years and not enough on high payout years with kid expenses. If he didn’t have the minimalist mentality and some unmotivated family members he would not be this way. He had a bachelor uncle that lived cheaply to retire early, not even realizing that he couldn’t withdraw his retirement money w/o extra taxes before 59 1/2…and his bachelor uncle also didn’t have a wife guiding him on his health and had prostate cancer spread and died young from that.
The ONLY reason we have what we have in our nest egg is due to my financial savvy (two graduate business degrees, a dad who was a successful business man, my paying attention to investments/our cash flow, finding our financial guy and understanding it all long before H did, etc). Due to the 2nd wave of COVID, I am one of the last nurses to get COVID.
DH doesn’t understand how important these last months of high income are in our situation. “Don’t you want me to be happy?” He has been SPOILED, and now not holding up to the plan because he continues to act spoiled.
My blood is boiling. He has been busy with his hobby - so he fills his time with what he wants to do. I tell him it not only is not right to do what he is doing for our financial security, and not a good example for our DDs/SIL.
I guess he can live ‘cheaply’ to make up for the money he has left on the table. Not have his choice defer my decisions in retirement.
I had caught a flu virus at work weeks prior to Covid (yes I had the flu shot; I am sick of being sick). I cut back at work to get well until I tested positive for Covid. He caught a bit of the flu virus - he had symptoms in the other state but I had the flu for 7 days when he left home. If he caught Covid it was being with his dad who died of Covid in another state (he now tells me he has not had taste for food for a week - I had Covid while he was gone, testing negative the day he left). If he has Covid, he came home with it.
It is what it is. DH’s dad was not a good example on work ethic either, nor another brother of his.
I plan to remain strong, irritated but will remain strong.