<p>My daughter is a junior. She has her dream colleges where she would like to go. However, she's very aware that she needs to apply to other colleges that are not Ivys or highly selective. She has asked me several times which colleges should she apply. I didn't provide any specific names since I think she is the one to decide and do research about colleges. However, I know she's really busy trying to do well in her classes, EC activities, and trying to have a balance life. At this point, I don't really know how much help is recommended (I'm not a helicopter parents and don't want to be one...but sometimes wonder if she's at a disadvantage because it seems all her friends have parents who are helicopter parents...but that's another topic...)
Parents, could you please give some ideas how much support is recommended ??? I want her to know I support her but I don't want to do the work she's supposed to do herself...Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>I think it depends a lot on the child. My son (and many of my friends sons) needed some hand-holding. He just didn't feel that he knew himself well enough to make this important decision without a lot 'thinking aloud.' Even the 'big state school' vs. SLAC was confusing until he's seen both and understood the differences generically. My daughter (2d child) has benefited from watching her brother. She wants our advise but she has a much clearer sense of what she wants and needs and has put together her own list.</p>
<p>My suggestion would be that you work with him to develop a list of options. Then its reasonable to expect him to do the reading and research to help narrow that list down.</p>
<p>thanks...I didn't think about that...do you have any suggestions about how to start the process without being subjective. I know I have my own bias about keeping my D close to home ; )</p>
<p>We tried to show our kids a range of differing schools with no pressure involved. No interview, no official tour, no "meet the students." Just a drive through a campus and sample of their ice cream or coffee - maybe went to the campus chapel if there on a Sunday (you can really learn a lot about a school when you see who's at chapel). So, at the end of their junior year, they were more likely to know the education lingo and could speak with some confidence about LACs, Flagship U, etc. </p>
<p>When they applied, they all applied to lots of different types of schools, from PennState to Hillsdale (can't get more different); AirForce Academy to Franciscan U of Steubenville. There were things at each school that they really like.</p>
<p>You don't necessarily have to hover over your child, but it helps everyone if you can set definite boudaries (geographical, economic, perhaps church affiliation...), that should narrow the field, and give a box in which to work.</p>
<p>I don't know how far along your daughter is in the college search process, but if she hasn't already done so, you could help her identify what she's looking for in a college/what she likes about her dream schools. And you could recommend some methods of searching to her if she hasn't already identified them all. Or you could post in the College Search and Selection section on here and ask about what other schools/matches/safeties students who share dream schools with her typically apply to. It'd still be up to her to research them herself, but you'd be giving her a starting off point. And I don't know how much time, etc. your daughter has, but one thing that helped me (I'm a senior this year) was just sitting down and reading through some of the college guide books. It helped me to find some schools I might not have considered otherwise...The Fisk one, I believe, and possibly some of the others have sections along the lines of "overlap schools" or "applicants to this school often/sometimes/rarely prefer_______," so that sort of thing could help to, if it's something she'd be willing to devote time to.</p>
<p>Thanks Upsilamba for all the ideas. Your commends helped me to have a better idea about how to help my D.
fendersmother, i think boundaries is something my D could appreciate. Visit to different nearby college is something feasible and easy. Thanks..</p>