"How Much Is Too Much" Was Lost

<p>When I tried to log on to read and really digest all of your thoughtful responses, I learned that my registration and the entire thread (along with lots of other information posted by many other people in other threads) was lost when the Administrators rolled back the database to correct a problem. </p>

<p>I'm really sad that all your input has been lost, because I'm sure it would have helped a lot. After I created this thread, I just needed to be away from it for a while. I felt so drained.</p>

<p>I guess with the loss of the thread, the spirits are telling me to end the chase here.</p>

<p>Thank you for your time. If any of you original posters happen to see this thread, I'd appreciate your leaving me your usernames in case I need to contact you for negotiating advice, again, because it all was lost.</p>

<p>Thanks again. You all are wonderful people.</p>

<p>Sage44, but weary.</p>

<p>Sorry, I never saw your thread. What was it about?</p>

<p>Sage, I saw your thread (assuming it was the one about a financial aid package at your son's first choice school?) but just skimmed it and did not post. I am more of a lurker than a poster and you had already gotten much excellent advice.</p>

<p>I am sorry about the loss of recent posts, and many of us are frustrated about it.</p>

<p>Let me see, despite my mid-life brain freeze, if I can help by trying to recall some of the points people made. I also have some experience from guiding others through this gauntlet.</p>

<p>One of the most helpful in this area is TheDad. (Please forgive me, TheDad, if my recall is not accurate or does not do justice to your very helpful posts on this thread.) I believe he suggested that you compile all your documentation, but also have a cover "highlight" sheet that outlines the main points. That way each fin aid person who deals with your file won't have to plow through all the papers to get the gist of the story.</p>

<p>TheDad also suggested that you should be prepared to "give" on something here. In other words, show that you will meet them partway -- a basic negotiating point. He suggested being willing to take out at least a small home equity loan. The school WILL consider your home equity a resource that can be tapped. Only funds specifically for retirement are out of reach of the EFC. </p>

<p>I believe he also suggested finding out who else works in the fin aid office at the school and may be either more powerful and/or more empathetic. In other words, "scope out" the other personnel, if you can, and try to make contact with someone who will be "in your corner." </p>

<p>Several posters suggested that you handle this as you would a deferral from the school. In effect, work like heck towards a favorable outcome on this at the preferred school, but at the same time, aim to line up others that will be good alternatives. </p>

<p>Further, there is the standard advice not to undermine your own future (retirement) for the sake of your child's college education. Therefore, think carefully before committing to a school that will be more expensive than you feel you can handle. Kids generally end up happy and successful wherever they go. </p>

<p>Berurah was another helpful poster on your thread.</p>

<p>Perhaps some posting subscribers would have e-mail copies of some of the posts?</p>

<p>I hope things work out OK for you and your family, Sage, in all the areas of your concern. </p>

<p>Yes, the College Confidential community is a wonderful group. I hope this helps you get back on track.</p>

<p>And remember to avoid the word "negotiation" when talking to the financial aid office. Someone also suggested talking to the director of financial aid, not underlings.</p>

<p>Remember, too, that your son can take out loans, which is what the majority of college students do to fund their education.</p>

<p>JEM, you may be my translator any time. </p>

<p>I agree with NSM...avoid the "N" word..."negotiation." "Review in light of circumstances," said circumstances including up to "better FinAid offers from other schools" as well as documentation of life/financial problems.</p>

<p>I do think that it's futile to expect to wind up with aid and a fully paid off house. Believe, I do understand a background of financial insecurity but taking a line of credit so that you have <em>some</em> mortgage will be expected nearly everywhere.</p>

<p>Sage, do feel free to e-mail me via clicking on my profile. I'm sorry that you lost a lot in the crash...you had received some good advice. But hang in there and don't despair, work the problem.</p>

<p>one of the suggestions that was very helpful I thought, and which I had never thought of before, was to use the print out that the SS administration sends that shows your income history.
The year previous to my D applying for school, was a year than my H and I were seperated, but which he filled his time by working 10 hour days and only one weekend off a month. Not optimal for family time, but it increased his income quite a bit. While we tried to explain where the increase came from and that it wouldn't be repeated, it wasn't until he recieved a pink slip after 9/11 that the EFC was decreased</p>