How much monthly allowance is reasonable?

Parent Cafe
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<p>

I’m not sure what you learn from flipping burgers or scooping ice cream or baby sitting. It is just an excuse to actually encourage child labor in disguise. If a child work in a developing country for Nike or Coke then there will be protest every where but if parent in US force child to scoop ice cream or flip burger or baby sit then it becomes an important lesson.</p>

<p>Anyone who has to juggle such labor along with a full time college load is suffering. (S)He is not having the full college experience, missing out on the many small episodes that collectively make a college experience an experience.</p>

<p>If a child is involve in paid research activity or helping out in labs or in the area of their major then it can be considered as gaining practical experience but for a college student to flip burger or scoop ice cream or baby sitting can only be considered as punishment.</p>

<p>There are some children for whom it is really important to have such jobs to be able to afford the college education in the first place. But don’t paint this as something valuable that every college student should experience.</p>

<p>It is the other way around, the normal college experience should not include such jobs unless there is a financial hardship involved.</p>

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<p>Ahhh. “parentofivyhope” i am not talking about financial hardship. I am talking about earning $ to spend on things you want vs. having mommy and daddy GIVE it to you! Trying to avoid the ENTITLEMENT attitude that pervades many a kid from RICH PARENTS! I have seen this sort of attitude in my own family, giving their kids all sorts of $, only to find them living at home after college graduation, still forking over the $ to them…coddling is unhealthy!!!
Again, my D is not flipping burgers or scooping icecream…she clearly is not suffering academically, and is PROUD of what she does.
Oh well, to each his own…</p>

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<p>Yes, to each his own. </p>

<p>Why do threads like this have to turn into “the way I raise my kids is the only valid way”?</p>

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<p>^Because my way IS the only valid way. (Just kidding–winky face–I couldn’t resist)</p>

<p>I find it very enlightening to read how others deal with these sorts of issues. I wholeheartedly agree that it is imperative for kids to learn how to handle money–it’s a skill that can affect your happiness for a lifetime. We didn’t really do much teaching about money while the kids were at home and have tried to use college as the time for it. Going off to college is a good time for us since the kids are far away, have more freedom of choice and yet are still substantially connected to home, especially in the earlier college years.</p>

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<p>we have also struggled with this whole budget thing. after 2 years of college life, and reflecting on things brought up here on this thread, here are some of my thoughts and tips:</p>

<p>*kids working at school - I believe, and daughter’s school believes, that working part time makes the kids more time efficient, and teaches them a great set of skills. HOWEVER, it does depend on the kid. ACADEMICS are first, so I would recommend NOT working 1st semester Freshman year, but waiting and perhaps trying a small job 2nd semester or Sophomore year. I also believe it should be an “easy” job, one that might even allow the student to study while working. Not a job that wears your kid out, exhausts him, and interferes with studies. In our case, daughter is struggling academically, so we are not encouraging a job during school.</p>

<p>*summer jobs - we hope and ask that our kids work 25 - 40 hours per week all summer long, and earn $2000 - $2500+. This money becomes their “spending money” for the year, giving them a monthly budget of about $200/month, which is pretty reasonable, depending on it is a boy or girl (think girls spend more - clothes, presents for friends, beauty products, etc) and where the school is.</p>

<p>*feed them the money monthly (or weekly) - whatever amount you give your kid, I think it is very wise to feed it to them monthly, versus giving it to them all up front. One of ours is a spender, and cannot budget well, so now we do that for her to train/teach her how to do it. Builds in a little discipline, too. Plus, you know there will be money left at the end of the semester. Also, really wish we had “taken” some or all of our daughter’s summer earnings, and fed that to her each month as well, at least at first, to kind of train them to budget. Daughter blew threw a lot of money early on, and struggled later, which is a good learning experience too. But not a bad idea to help them a bit, especially that Freshman year, when everything is new and different. I would really caution against just dumping a ton of money into their account, until you have seen they have developed some budgeting skills and you have a track record with your kid.</p>

<p>*our daughter has her own account (separate from ours, so I cannot see her expenditures, which is good and bad, but more good than bad) at the same bank we do. I can transfer her money online right into her account, which has given us great flexibility. Also makes me feel better if there is an emergency.</p>

<p>*Re-Loadable gift cards - this has been a life saver for us this year. Daughter moved off campus and now is paying for groceries, etc and gas for car. I got a VISA BUXX re-fillable gift card. Acts just like a credit or debit card, with money being deducted from the gift card with each purchase, and the amount remaining on the card shows at the bottom of the receipt when they make the purchase. The first of each month I put some money on it for her (do it online, it is instant, and the $ amount is charged to my VISA). I can see what her purchases are and what her balance is online. Also helps with the car - when she needed an oil change, I split the cost of it with her, and loaded that exact amount onto the VISA gift/debit card. This has been GREAT!! It helps keep the money we give her for books/essentials/groceries separate from HER money (earned during summer jobs) which is more her social and free spending money. I also gave her a re-fillable gas card from Shell, with a monthly gas allowance (spends any more than that is her nickel). Again, nice security for an emergency situation, I could re-fill any of these gift cards instantly if needed.</p>

<p>*Be realistic about costs. We did not give our daughter any spending money her freshman year. Her laundry costs were really really high! I did not know it at the time, and she did not complain, but she did really struggle to make ends meet. She is bad about budgeting, so I just figured she was spurlging on silly things too often. Then I saw how expensive doing coing laundry was, and felt bad. In hindsight, I should have given her a small amount of money each month.</p>

<p>*amount is very difficult to determine, and very individual. We give our daughter money for books, buy her a few essentials for the apartment at the beginning of the year, buy some groceries for the apartment and some basic tolietries when she arrives. Then, we have been giving her $400 a month to pay for utilities, cable, groceries, eating out, some money on the meal plan, plus a few essentials, plus $50 a month for gas for the car. I have another friend who gives her son $200 a month for food, and he struggles and has to supplement that. Another friend gives her son $500 a month for food.</p>

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<p>actually encourage child labor in disguise. If a child work in a developing country for Nike or Coke then there will be protest every where but if parent in US force child to scoop ice cream or flip burger or baby sit then it becomes an important lesson.</p>

<p>Since when is an 18-22 year old working “child labor”??? I guess if an 18 - 22 year old gets married, the parents should support them because otherwise they’re engaging in child labor??? Ridiculous.</p>

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<p>^^^: The comment was about the high school students working.</p>

<p>It was made towards the mentality of teaching high school student a valuable lesson by doing low level jobs.</p>

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<p>^^ Its still a silly analogy, POIH. The US has tight labor laws. When my younger s took a minimum wage after school job at a fast-food chain when he was in HS, there were all sorts of forms he, the state and his school had to sign. It was a great learning experience for him. He learned time and money management, responsibility, how to deal with challenging, irresponsible coworkers, etc. He also saw how much was pulled from his paycheck for taxes, social security, etc. I believe he learned a lot from having had earned income. </p>

<p>m2collegekids,
LOL at the double entendre of HS’ers getting married – talk about “child labor”
if they start a family.</p>

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<p>Certainly each child is different and each family is different. We can all agree that there are many ways to turn out a happy, productive, responsible adult.</p>

<p>The point I was trying to make is that some kids “earn” their spending money a different way than in a conventional part-time job. They contribute to the family coffers by super-achieving academically and (in our case) musically to earn huge scholarships for college. We, their parents, have no problem kicking back some of that substantial chunk of money they’ve earned, in the form of spending money.</p>

<p>As to why they can’t do both? Well, my daughter can’t achieve her level of academic and musical success without very long hours, and she’s one of those teens who really does need 8 hours of sleep every night, and makes sure she gets it.</p>

<p>But she is without question the hardest working, most focused and consistent person I know. To achieve the 4.2 GPA at a very rigorous school, the vocal skill level, the proficiency on a 2nd instrument that supports vocal performance (piano), maintain high service hours which, among other things, lead to leadership awards…this all takes her about 85 work hours a week. There is precious little discretionary or socializing time, and her commitment to being the finest person she can be is rock-solid.</p>

<p>I have had times in my job (not many, thank God) when I’ve had to put in an 85 hour work week, and I can tell you I could not do it week after week, month after month. But she does (and cheerfully, no less).</p>

<p>So I consider this to be her job. That 85-hour work week requires skill, stamina, responsibility, dependability, production, development, cooperation and collaboratiion with others…and it pays. Probably many tens of thousands of dollars toward her undergrad years. </p>

<p>How is that not a job?</p>

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<p>Slightly hijacking the thread:
Ok so my son has the opportunity to get into a prestigious research lab for an unpaid internship vs doing some mindless meaningless job to earn spending money for next year.</p>

<p>The research internship could lead to a paid internship next summer or even during the year and certainly would be a big plus on his premed resume.
On the other hand he just got a car, which is necessary, but we had told him he would need to be responsible for the gas, maintenance and insurance.</p>

<p>So I am polling for opinions :wink: dangerous I know but I am leaning one way and not sure if my instincts are right.</p>

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<p>Learning about the value of a dollar and learning *work ethic *are not exactly the same thing. While I think both are important, I think work ethic is more important, and I think lots of high-achieving students learn (and exhibit) it without getting paid. That’s also my answer to expatme’s question.</p>

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<p>Agreed, hunt, and expatme-- hands down tell him to take the research job. Those kinds of opportunities don’t come along all that often or easily, and the potential for future oppurtunities is huge. Clear choice here, IMO.</p>

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<p>expatme: The whole point of sending children to 4 years college is to learn necessary skills, to be successful in jobs, that are not possible without it.</p>

<p>Value of internship in the area of children interests even if unpaid far exceed meaning less jobs.</p>

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<p>“I’m not sure what you learn from flipping burgers or scooping ice cream or baby sitting.”</p>

<p>I don’t think it’s necessary for high schoolers to work at these jobs, but I have no doubt that when they do, they learn a lot. The biggest lesson is that your ice cream scooper is a human being who deserves the same respect as your doctor, and who may be just as smart as your doctor. It’s also a really good lesson in why it’s so important to work hard academically and get a good job in a field you care about – because after a week of backbreaking and boring work, you get that little tiny check and think, “Really?” Ideally, you’ll be working alongside not just other high schoolers, but adults for whom the ice cream shop is the best job they’ll ever have, and you’ll learn how to get along with and have a greater understanding for people who are living a different kind of life from the one you’re looking forward to.</p>

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<p>$200 a month. I pay for cell, books, room, meal plan, whatever tuition isnt covered by aid, and sorority dues ($600 semester). Laundry costs about $25 a month in the dorm machines, and I think D spends about $20 a week going out to eat with friends. </p>

<p>She never asks for money. I deposit it into her debit card checking account once a month.</p>

<p>She does have not a car and I could not afford one, the insurance, the gas, registration, etc. anyway. When she graduates debt free, she can buy a car!</p>

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<p>D spends money on: pizza; a lunch out; iTunes; laundry; clothing; tickets and donations to charity events (part of sorority stuff); occasional on-campus events that charge a small fee; school supplies; an occasional gift. $200 a month has worked well. Some weeks she spends nothing, other weeks she spends more. </p>

<p>Within reason, I want her to be able to participate. She is not terribly indulgent nor has she withdrawn her account. Her friends all seem to be on a budget, so she is also not running with a crowd of people who have a lot more spending money than she does.</p>

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<p>But she is without question the hardest working, most focused and consistent person I know. To achieve the 4.2 GPA at a very rigorous school, the vocal skill level, the proficiency on a 2nd instrument that supports vocal performance (piano), maintain high service hours which, among other things, lead to leadership awards…this all takes her about 85 work hours a week</p>

<p>This is a unique situation. This is somewhat similar to the person who is playing a Div I sport that requires daily conditioning, practice, travel for competitions, etc. Both types can’t realistically have a part-time job. I agree. :)</p>

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<p>My kids are starting college in the fall with R/B covered. I think I’ll just ask them how much money they want a month. I’m pretty sure it will be less than I (or dare I say, their mom) would have chosen.</p>

<p>Transferring money is a question I spent some time trying to decide how to manage. I am allergic to banks charging outrageous fees for overdrafts, and my kids have been taught to be debt averse. My solution was to open an ATM card for each kid through our USAA bank. ATM withdrawls and PIN purchases are fee free, and no overdrafts allowed. In a pinch they can call home and we will add money that becomes available immediately.</p>

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<p>I don’t provide any allowance. We pay her room and board and the cost of travel to university. Her tuition is covered through scholarships. We also pay her health insurance because she in Canadian. The rest is her responsibility. She works in the summer to earn money and in the pub one night per week. She is very frugal and I want her to continue in that vein. She does not eat out a lot. And fortunately for me - the Canadian dollar at par. With three kids I cannot afford everything - they all have to help. But I do not expect them to assume debt for university.</p>

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<p>Hunt 71 and Hanna 74 for the win.</p>