<p>NOPE…you had no financial need. That is why you didn’t get a financial aid package. Your family can well pay for your education at NYU. That they might not WANT to is NOT a reason to decline the ED contract. If you had need and NYU didn’t fulfill that need (and often they don’t) that would be a much different story…but you have NO NEED. And you will have no need no matter where you apply. </p>
<p>Here is my humble opinion…with your family income, if your parents didn’t expect to pay the full cost of attending NYU, they should NOT have signed the ED agreement when you applied.</p>
<p>Do you and your parents understand that with their income, they will be paying your FULL costs of attending ANY college in the U.S. UNLESS you get merit aid (and with your comment about not doing well in HS, perhaps that is a doubtful idea)?</p>
<p>I have no problem with parents expecting kids to take out some loans, even if they can afford to pay the full price. It gives kids some “skin in the game,” and that is not a bad thing. However, I do think that the debt load should be reasonable. My personal opinion is that the Stafford annual limits should not be exceeded, because borrowing more involves taking on private loans … I just think this should be avoided when possible (and in this case, it is possible to avoid private loans).</p>
<p>I agree with Kelsmom. I do not think you should take out more than what the Staffords allow. High school must not have been too terrible or you never would have been accepted at NYU, however, perhaps knowing that you have some loans to pay will keep you focused and perhaps that is what your parents are thinking. We had our kids take Staffords, too. Keep talking to them!</p>
<p>I agree with all the honor-system points that this ED acceptance should not be declined now, BUT: If it turns out that the only way for her to attend NYU is to take out $56K in loans (which most of us seem to think is a bad idea), then she should decline, and NYU won’t care a whit if she does, and there will be no repercussions. But, as noted, there’s not much point in declining, since most other schools of this caliber will cost nearly as much (and we know about the cost; our DD2 graduated [well, last final] from NYU yesterday, whew!). (I also think these parents should pay everything above the Staffords.)</p>
<p>Unless it is necessary,i feel there is no advantage to insisting your child needs to have “skin in the game”…do you think for 1 minute a child with a 5k loan is going to think any differently about study habits/partying/dropping out as opposed to a student without a vested interest??..If a loan is needed to afford school, then that is fine…But trying to “teach” your kid a lesson by insisting they pay part of tuition/room/board,when parents can AFFORD to pay to pay these costs seems fruitless…Having they pay spending expenses is a different issue, and i believe they should pay most of this,if not all</p>
<p>“How much should I EXPECT my parents to pay?”</p>
<p>OK…how much should you EXPECT? Really nothing. EXPECTING them to pay sounds like you feel entitled to this money for college. With any kind of luck, your parents see you as a student for whom they WANT to pay the college costs. Hopefully you are this student in your parents’ eyes.</p>
<p>Here’s what you should do. Take out some loans. Then work very hard in college and make your parents proud. Then, most likely, they will help you pay off the loans if you need them to.</p>
<p>" “How much should I EXPECT my parents to pay?”</p>
<p>OK…how much should you EXPECT? Really nothing. EXPECTING them to pay sounds like you feel entitled to this money for college. With any kind of luck, your parents see you as a student for whom they WANT to pay the college costs. Hopefully you are this student in your parents’ eyes."</p>
<p>And we have a winner!!! I was wondering when somebody was going to say something like this. While the parent’s income is high, it is their money to do what they choose. This student should not “expect” his/her parents to pay, but should be grateful that they have the ability to pay and may be willing to pay. The conversation should be what do the parents expect of the student, not what the student should expects of the parents.</p>
<p>But trying to “teach” your kid a lesson by insisting they pay part of tuition/room/board,when parents can AFFORD to pay to pay these costs seems fruitless…</p>
<hr>
<p>We all view this differently. I think of it as helping my kids avoid the entitlement trap. It seems to be working for us, so that is all I need to justify the small amount of loans my kids have borrowed.</p>
<p>I note that the OP asked what he could “realistically” expect his parents to pay, which to me, is a pretty sensible question.</p>
<p>I have to add that I think it’s oddly “entitled” of parents to assert that they have no obligation to use any of their money to help their kids get a college educations. This is certainly not how I was raised to think of “my” money.</p>
<p>College fun, I think you’ve gotten some good advice here. As parents, we sat our D down in Sept. (she’s starting to get acceptances now) with an open discussion of finances. We make about 2/3 your parents’ income but have several children still to put through school. We told her our savings and planning result in us planning to pay about $30 - 35K per year, and beyond that she would have to take out loans. She was a little upset, but in the end we are all glad it’s all on the table. Most of the schools she has applied to will cost between $26 - $41K to attend; on her own, she ruled out a couple of schools that would be in the $50s annually. Personally, I hope she ends up with the $22K of Stafford loans when she comes out of school. She is a great student but we have had some serious problems with her feeling “entitled”, and unappreciative of our efforts to support her through high school years. </p>
<p>I agree with the following advice with one change:</p>
<p>You need to have a sit down with your parents NOW, and say, (WE not YOU)</p>
<p>“hey, I have been accepted to NYU on a binding admissions and the tab is about 55k a year and we are not eligible for financial aid. This means that I am 99.9% sure that WE will have to pay all of it”.
I think it would be very responsible of you to initiate this talk.</p>
<p>If you are going to take that stance, however, it might be smart to mention it before you sign an Early Decision agreement to NYU. No, really, I know it’s not “cool” to talk to your kids about money until they’re in their 40s, but come on!</p>
<p>Our son is looking at two schools…one is a top 20 State School - in state, with a nice financial aid package. The other is a significantly smaller oos option, also well thought of, that will cost significantly more. Although we COULD pay the difference, we don’t feel like the difference is necessary to his quality education. It is a PREFERENCE that he has. We’ve told him that he can take the Stafford loans - which essentially is a split of the difference. We will pay the loans back if his GPA is 3.5 or better. If not, he’s on the hook for the Stafford loans.</p>
<p>I’m surprised at how many people in this thread leap to the conclusion that the parents should pay the whole thing based merely on their income. Assuming that they have devoted the kind of sacrifice and work that it typically takes to earn that kind of income, it seems doubtful that they would think of a $50k-$65k yearly expense casually.</p>
<p>No, it’s not a matter of “how much should they pay.” The more relevant question is going to be whether the student has demonstrated that s/he is fully prepared to make use of that support, whether the investment makes sense - it’s all about providing the best fit for the student. That’s the best way to support the student, and the best way to honor the sacrifice that the investment represents.</p>
<p>Reading between the lines, I see see the same thing in many of these threads. Parents are asking their young adults to step up and demonstrate their maturity - their readiness to accept these gifts.</p>
<p>When we had our children, we had an expectation of providing for their educations through undergraduate school. It was, however, our CHOICE to do this. There are families who do not make this same choice.</p>
<p>Having said that, our kids felt that our financial support during college WAS a gift, and one that they appreciated immensely. We were fortunate to be able to provide this to them and they were very grateful to have this support. </p>
<p>I’m not sure they “expected” us to pay for college…but they were very happy when we told them we did not need to put financial restrictions on the college choices.</p>
<p>The OP has a couple of issues…first, she/he applied ED which implies that her parents knew the costs of attending NYU and would fund them. I guess this wasn’t clearly discussed from the conversation here. Second, it sounds like her parents are having second thoughts about paying over $50,000 a year to a student, who by her own admission hasn’t shown the parents her willingness to do well in school. </p>
<p>Regardless…I think the discussions about bottom line funding for college should take place BEFORE the students send their applications to the schools. Yes…kids can apply to more costly places. But if the parents will have a limit on the amount they are able or willing to contribute annually for four years, the student should know this UP FRONT so that if the money isn’t there fromthe college they won’t be surprised when the parents say NO to paying the costs.</p>
<p>I think that this is the critical issue here, and on so many other threads that crop up on this forum. Either the parents aren’t communicating exactly how much they are willing to pay per year for college, or their children aren’t listening to them, or something is going on. I definitely don’t understand why any parent would sign an ED agreement and then start pulling strings about money afterward rather than before that like a normal person. The literacy rate in the United States is one of the highest in the world; surely they could have found someone who could have read that contract to them!</p>