<p>My daughter is absolutely stumped about her final decision. Money does not factor into the decision so we are not evaluating that. She has gone back to the schools several times but still has no clarity because she likes them all. My husband and I are leaning towards Case Western as we see it to be a great fit for her although she is not looking at engineering. Size, culture, "nerd factor" are all good. However, when pushed, she indicates that Nova is just slightly ahead but cannot articulate why. </p>
<p>We have not told her we think CWRU is "best" for her. Should we? We want it to be her decision but want it to be for the right reasons and not just because Villanova is relatively close. She was waitlisted at her top choice but has since moved on. However, one thing she liked about her top choice was the Jesuit focus. While Villanova is not Jesuit, they still have the same service/giving back culture and probably have the best school spirit. Should that be a deciding factor?</p>
<p>Why don’t you suggest she do a list of advantages and disadvantages of both? Then do your own list and show it to her without indicating where you think she would best fit. Seeing things on paper sometimes helps to clarify things.</p>
<p>I would not push one over another. When my kids were deciding - and they both waffled between two schools until April 30 - I gave the information I knew about the schools. “Here this program that might interest you” or “Look x had y club.” I like the ideas of pluses and minuses and figuring out what are nice things to have vs non-negotiables, and I can see making a list yourself. That could include things that affect you more than her like the cost or time of travel to the universities. But I think ultimately the decision should belong to the kid. The last thing you want is a kid who blames you if they ended up feeling like the place they ended up isn’t a good fit.</p>
<p>In my kids’ cases one decision was all about the major (which he was 100% sure of) and for the other it was more about the perceived atmosphere (which I think he might tell you now was not as accurate as he thought, not that he has any regrets, he just thinks the visits may not have given him that accurate an impression of the place.) Both my kids are adaptable, and I think would have done well at any of the colleges they applied to. And I frankly was as torn as they were about the choices they were making.</p>
<p>I think let her pick. My second son surprised me with the college he picked. There were a couple others that I thought would be so much better. But kids that know themselves, know themselves and he had a great four years that were very different in many ways that I would have expected in terms of how and what he engaged with but that is part of young adults growing into their skin and I will be happily snapping pictures at his graduation next month. </p>
<p>Tell her it’s her choice, but sure, give her your take on the situation, and then let it go. That’s what I did and my kids did not go with my choice, what do I know? Right? So we moved on, but at least it was all on the table as to what I preferred and why.</p>
<p>I would tell her the reasons you have for feeling CW is a better fit and leave it to her. I did that with DS and he still chose the other school, I’m happy for him and at least I got to explain my side. I won’t regret later on that I didn’t tell him my preference.</p>
<p>No, she has not asked. However, she has a college admissions counselor (which worked out very well for all of us) and she is aware of our feelings so it might be better coming from a “neutral” party. </p>
<p>Perhaps she wants to get away from the nerd factor? (It’s not atypical that girls who are strong in STEM fields also want to be social – its a huge struggle that starts in middle school.)</p>
<p>btw: what major?</p>
<p>fwiw: if her top choice was BC, she should go hard after the WL. Well worth it, IMO.</p>
<p>Thanks, she is actually not super strong in STEM but is overall a good/great student. She wants to double major in Spanish and perhaps psychology or neuroscience. She is not a hard party girl (yes, I am positive) and likes people who are smart. We have a number of much “nerdier” people in our family so CWRU would be a step down in nerdiness, if that makes sense. </p>
<p>No, it was not BC. She preferred BU over BC- which is exactly the opposite of what I thought!</p>
<p>I consider myself at the interface between social and nerdy and I went to BU as an undergrad. I loved it there and made friends, but it is a big school It sounds like she is leaning towards Villanova, and if school spirit is important to her, I would not discount that at all. She might be disappointed by school spirit at BU. It’s not that it is not there at all, but I think a big draw is Boston itself. So I would spend a lot of time exploring the city with friends rather than doing school-centered activities (did not go to a single hockey game until years after I graduated and had little kids who were afraid of the mascot!)</p>