It’s not “discretionary” spending, its just the student’s share of the responsibility for college costs. My kids both attended college that mandated a meal plan the first year but not thereafter – so I paid for meals in year #1 via the plan, after that, food costs were on their shoulders as well. I certainly didn’t consider food a “discretionary” expense.</p>
<p>I have to work to earn money for “necessary” as well as “discretionary” expenses; that’s just part of being adult. College is a transitional period – in my view, a time when the student will pick up the obligation to support both needs and wants in an incremental way. Hopefully, by the time of graduation, the young adult will be fully able to assume 100% percent responsibility.</p>
<p>eyeamom has posted about the importance of learning to plan and to budget. Responsibility for some necessary expenses is one way to help gain that skill. It is one thing to think, “I have $200 and I can spend it on anything I want… what should I use it for?” - vs. “I have $200 and I have to buy books. How can I best allocate that money?” </p>
<p>In any case, I think that my position is simply pretty normal for parents like me for whom the term “discretionary income” was once a total fantasy, heavily reliant on a financial aid package that met “full need” only by virtue of fictions imposed by the financial aid office. (Such as the fiction that my house was spending money, or that my kids’ father was somehow going to be contributing to their education). It was a stretch as it was to have to pay for my end of the equation – I had to borrow myself to make it all work. Maybe it would be very different for parents who are better off financially – I certainly would’t have wanted my kids to suffer if I had money to burn. But the minute it was clear that I would have to borrow money, I think it was pretty much incumbent that my kids be expected shoulder as much responsibility for the shared endeavor of a college education, as they reasonably could be expected to take on at the time.</p>
<p>If either of my kids ever ran into financial trouble, they knew they could come to me to ask for help. (But they didn’t-- I really can’t ever remember either kid directly asking me for money in college, though they both knew how to graciously hint at items they needed, and I strongly encouraged them to keep their Amazon wish list up to date.) It is not as if either kid would ever starve.</p>
<p>We gave the kids money for rent & the amount for food equal to the cheapest full semester meal plan. They were supposed to pay all their room, board & social expenses out of that. If they ran out, they could always tap their other accounts, which were turned over to them when they were 18. So far, neither kid has tapped their other accounts & have managed to live within the funds we have given them, including getting books, food, & socializing. They do know they can (& do) turn to us if needed. We also buy their plane tickets to come home. We also bought each of them one plane ticket to the East Coast for Spring Break as well as a plane ticket to visit relatives in SF. We cover all costs of all family vacations.</p>
<p>I fully got that message from adolescence onward not only from working during middle school-early high school when academic demands became too much to continue, but also from having to manage all my undergrad expenses as my parents weren’t in any position to help on that score. </p>
<p>Though I received a near-full ride scholarship from my alma mater…there was still a difference I had to cover with part-time/summer work and by taking out a tiny loan which was paid back within 6 months of graduation. Moreover, all transportation and other miscellaneous expenses were mine to bear as well. </p>
<p>My previous comment was to relay how parents of friends and classmates and relatives I grew up with had differing perspectives on what areas to use to teach children “responsible budgeting”…as well as to note that “renting books” would not fly with them due to their perceived values and perceptions regarding the academic side of education. </p>
<p>To some part/full-pay parents, renting books is a reasonable way to reduce undergraduate expenses. To others…it’s a manifestation that one doesn’t fully appreciate/respect the academic side of one’s education enough. The mere proposal of that idea would certainly have provoked an angry lecture or few from the parents I knew growing up.</p>
<p>Geez, I didn’t even think the book ownership issue was any of my business. I think my d. sold back most of her books; I didn’t know renting was an option,and I know that in some cases she shared books with other students rather than purchasing her own copy. I can’t even imagine in this day and age getting too attached to a physical book. In my day, the text book was pretty much all we had to work with – after one class, you might want to hang onto the book as a reference for the next - these days the kids have the internet & ebooks. I mean … a decade ago when my son was in college he was quite fond of a wall chart he had with the periodic table of the elements … these days? I’ve got an app for that.</p>
<p>I saved many of my textbooks back in the day. NEVER referred to any of them but did lug them back from CA to HI until I ultimately dumped them after moving them to my apartment & then the next apartment & then to our home. S has been very pragmatic & I believe he has sold them nearly every term. I believe he has kept a FEW from HS & college that he wants to have for reference. We purchased his textbooks for 1st term, freshman year & then he has handled all of his own purchases & resales ever since. </p>
<p>We also help D with paying for textbooks if needed. Her field & S’s generally incur lab fees, which we also pay. D has always “hung onto” books. She did finally give some of them to her cousins & a neighbor but has not been as good as S about reselling them while they were in demand. I have let them figure things out. I believe S has nearly always made a profit reselling & buying textbooks somehow.</p>
<p>My D just finished her first semester in DC and spent about $100 a month on Metro fare alone due to an internship and field trips that required her to take the Metro around the city. She spent another $80 a month for food she had to buy in the city due to her internship. In addition, she spent another $200 a month but most of it was to buy books and warm clothing and shoes she didn’t have. She did not have a lot of social outings. I’m hoping her second semester expenses will be more like $200 a month.</p>
<p>The full-pay parents who disdained book renting and attended college kept all of their college textbooks related to their major(s) and/or minor(s). They felt those books were the best memento to commemorate the academic side of their undergraduate years…and they kept all of their college/grad school notes as well. It wasn’t just about their utility, but one way in which they placed their perceived values in action…keeping the very books which was a conduit of the academic side of their college education. </p>
<p>Granted…some would go so far as to gauge someone’s level of education/intellect beyond credentials by the quantity and type of books in a given person’s personal library. </p>
<p>As for the availability of the internet, they’d embrace its use as a starting point for one’s research…but would look askance at anyone who feels it could substitute for books/journals from a reputable publisher…especially on an academic/specialized area requiring some level of expertise. </p>
<p>Not too surprising considering back when I attended college in the '90s, I had professors who’d give an automatic F to anyone who used an internet source because the quality of materials available almost never matched the quality available from books/journal articles available in the college library/college library consortium. I now understand that inclination when my Prof/TA friends and I increasingly see undergrad papers citing Wikipedia articles or random websites anyone could have put up, qualified or not, which prompts us to wonder the following:</p>
<p>Since when have K-12 teachers seemingly:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Forgot to mention that encyclopedias are never acceptable as a source in a serious academic essay/research paper unless that very encyclopedia/one of its articles is a direct subject or critical part of the discussion. </p></li>
<li><p>Critical thinking & analysis in determining the veracity and reliability of information sources. Considering wikipedia or many random websites could be created/edited by anyone, qualified or not, it is certainly puzzling to see undergrads use it as an information source in itself…rather than a starting point to research something in much more depth. To some extent…I’d extend that to the internet as a whole outside of online versions of those books, journal articles, or publications by reputable institutions.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>But the point is that there ARE online and e-book versions of the books, journal articles, and reputable institutions – increasingly so. The only frustration I have is with the cost of purchasing materials online for people not affiliated with a university – I’m not happy with the idea that it will cost me $30 to download the full text of a research journal – but while my d. was in school, all of that stuff was available to her without charge via the CU library system. </p>
<p>And when I mentioned keeping books for use as a “reference” – I meant that literally. There was a time when it seemed useful to me to hang onto my $120 constitutional law casebook, because who knows when I might find it useful to re-read *Griswold v. Connecticut *? OK, the casebook only had an excerpt and not the whole case, but it had all the important bits, right? But nowadays in less time that in would take me to find the casebook on my shelf, I can enter the case name into Google and up pops links to at least half a dozen sources of the full text… as well as the Wikipedia article. </p>
<p>I also kept college literature books that were full of classics – I mean, it’s nice to have the complete works of Shakespeare or an anthology of English poetry on the book shelf. But all that stuff is also free on the internet these days – if its famous and its out of copyright, I can Google it, download it, whatever. </p>
<p>If the books managed to keep their pristine condition, it would be one thing – but I’ve got shelves full of books with yellowing pages and a musty smell when leaving through them – not much pleasure in that. Even when my son was in high school, sometimes he would be assigned a book, and I’d tell him that we had a copy at home- and then I’d dig out my old copy and it would just be in such brittle condition he wouldn’t want to read it. He didn’t mind having used books, but paper decays. Ten, fifteen years down the line, even books that have been sitting on a shelf all that time start to look pretty beat up.</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m utterly convinced the kindle & ipad are the death knell of the college textbook industry. It’s only a matter of time before college students are carrying all of their assigned reading around on a single device.</p>
<p>Well all of these mementos are still sitting in my vestibule in the trunk that they came home in after graduation, untouched almost 4 years later. Just one more thing to dust off in the house. D is currently in grad school and happily rents books, because it is on her own dime.</p>
<p>With the money thing, she set up a BOA student account that had no fees. I also have a BOA account and a credit union account (she has one also) in the event that money needed to be transferred in an emergency</p>
<p>Your kid will have the similar spending habits in college as in high school. The price difference will be the location of the school. Your kid will tend to gravitate toward kids who have similar spending habits. The question is how much you are willing to fund it in college vs in high school.</p>
<p>We decided to pay for everything associated with going to school - tuition, room and board, books, travel to and from home. We gave D1 same amount of allowance in college as in high school. She worked 10+ hours a week to have additional money. When she moved off campus, we gave her the cost of room and board living on campus, and she learned to budget with that money.</p>
<p>eyemammom - D1 had $200/mon to spend in high school, in college it was around $200-400.</p>
<p>Still have almost all my major/minor textbooks. Whatever’s not on my shelf is on loan to various friends who was interested in what I studied (i.e. East Asian History, US/East Asian politics, etc). </p>
<p>Even retained the ones from the two intro CS courses for majors which actually came in handy at work a few times and when a lawyer friend needed to borrow it to further research in an IP case (One of the standard university C programming textbooks). </p>
<p>Strange in my case as Computer Science/technology is one subject area where I’d prefer ebooks/internet because that’s one area where they are sometimes more reliable than dead tree books…and technology progresses to the point one practically needs to update their library every year or two.</p>
<p>eyemamom - I can tell you some about S’s expenses, since he’s at UR too.</p>
<p>First - it will probably be convenient for him to have a Chase account, since there’s a Chase on campus.</p>
<p>Meal plan. Consider getting the smallest meal plan (it’s still really expensive!). Most kids find it to be plenty.</p>
<p>Spending money. I’m not sure if my S is the norm, but he doesn’t really get off campus and do much. This year he is in a suite with a little kitchen so he buys groceries (if you haven’t discovered Wegman’s grocery store, you need to - it’s awesome! Go to the Pittsford branch). </p>
<p>We buy books but don’t give him any spending money (we do buy his food). The first year he went through his small savings way too fast thanks to Starbucks. By Christmas he was broke and had to make it all 2nd semester on the $75 he got in Christmas money from relatives. He was absolutely broke all semester and we didn’t send him a cent. I put $50 in his bank account before he had to fly home and told him it was there for emergencies and nothing else. This semester he had more going in, and I think he’s a lot smarter about how fast he goes through it. He also TA’s, so he makes some money each week.</p>
<p>Like I said, he doesn’t spend much. They enjoy their kitchen and don’t buy pizzas, and don’t get off campus much to go out to eat or a movie. I’m sure some kids want to do those things more. Not drinking saves a TON of money too! You’ll have to read everyone’s ideas and figure out how you want to approach it. It really depends on what his lifestyle is like. Movies, pizza, clothes, cabs, etc cost as much as he feels like spending! I can say, Rochester doesn’t exactly pull you out into costly adventures! There are free shuttles to downtown or the grocery store, and not a ton of irresistible fun things to do!</p>
<p>i agree with person above who said that much depends on your son’s spending habits currently. What does he spend money on? Will the allowance need to cover clothing including winter coat,boots, shoes, sneakers and other sporting gear? will it need to cover books and school supplies? does it cover cost of transportation (if any) to come home on weekends and/or school breaks? are there any local transportation costs? will it need to cover meals/snacks/coffee taken off campus (and that may factor in to your choice of dining plan)? what about frat dues if he decides to join one? and think about entertainment- admission to frat parties, movies, concerts, etc. </p>
<p>and, if you consider $50/week is just $7/day, that amount can easily be spent on random items.</p>
<p>as a variation on the suggestions for savings on books, I agreed with my student to fund up to the cost of new books but we split the savings between new cost and the actual cost of rental/used books purchased. this gave student an incentive to shop for best value. however, sometimes a used or rental book is not available for whatever reason. also student can resell books I am not looking for that money back.</p>
<p>I would balance desire to teach student value of money vs. making sure student has enough $$ to enjoy the basics of the college experience. :)</p>
<p>Calmom, I still have my Con Law book and my DS used it his senior yr. in high school when arguing the constitutionality of something. I kept lots of my books but several years ago we cleaned out the basement and I asked myself am I ever going to use Quantitative Stats again? </p>
<p>In regards to spending money - DS earns all of his but if he runs short we will put a couple hundred in his account. Last semester he had to buy a bunch of sailing gear so we reimbursed for that. Going to a school in a run down mill town with nothing to do saves a ton of money and everyone is on an unlimited meal plan and lives on campus for 4 years so none of those expenses. About all he spends money on is chipping in for some beer on the weekends. He also favors Good Will for clothes and crap for his room and with 4 other guys on his floor chipped in $50 for ginormous speakers they bought on Amazon.</p>
<p>I am facing this dilemma too. We have spoiled S2. He played football in HS and we wanted him to continue in it. It was difficult to get a job that worked around the hours of practice, off season training and summer camp. We wanted him to have time for schoolwork too and didn’t think he’d juggle all 3. I see now that was a mistake. He did some work last summer for my Dad and had a short job as a barback, but the hours didn’t work out. He got a job as an indoor lifeguard at a water park, but they wanted basically his first 2 weeks pay to pay for the lifeguard license, and he’d only have the job about 8 weeks, so he didn’t do it. If he wasn’t going away he would have done it. He went through all his birthday and graduation $ fairly quickly so we started giving him $ again for school.</p>
<p>He has spent most of his Christmas $ already on clothes and going out. He “lost” about $60 one night, he thinks it fell out of his pocket at Wawa (conv store).</p>
<p>I don’t know how much to give him. I put him on the 10 meal plan until we see how much he eats at this school (transfer). He is close enough to come home fairly often, which will cause him to spend more. I am thinking $25/wk and if he wants more he should show me where he spent it. This way if he wants to party he will just have to use his dining plan to eat and save his $.</p>
<p>CAMPUS JOBS. How easy are they to get? He will be at a State U w/about 10,000 students, 6000 live on campus. I don’t think there is a job for everybody. No car this semester and football will take a lot of time next semester.</p>
<p>Do those who provide $ ask for an accounting of expenses? I think mine might spend $ going to parties and ordering out.</p>
<p>Winter break is too short to get a job if you don’t have a summer job that will take you back.</p>
<p>If you have a child who doesn’t go to parties because they study all the time, please don’t reply and say that parties are not why they went to school. Parties are a reality for many college students. Not saying they should be, but I am realistic. And yes, he should have worked, family mistake so it’s too late. By the way, S1 has worked since 11th grade and works full time while in school. He has saved lots, and spends how he likes. No sports, similar grades to S2.</p>
<p>I think ease of getting a campus job depends upon the campus. My son had w/s as a freshman, so that was easy. This year he did not get that. He did not find a regular job right away (he did something for 2 weekends early in the semester, so that was a start), but there was a more “temporary” job that he did eventually find on campus. He worked it for a short time, but then he had to drop it because he just had too much work toward mid-end of the semester. </p>
<p>He worked over the winter, so the stress is off in terms of his needing a job now (he has half of the money from work last summer too). I don’t know if he will look for one. He says that there are very few non-work/study jobs on his campus. There are very few jobs within walking distance, but plenty if he rode public transit (available, but he never uses it). </p>
<p>The whole job issue was making him nervous last semester, because he really had a hard time finding something immediately. I think that might be why he chose to work over winter break.</p>
<p>We don’t contribut much, and we do not ask to see where he spends his money. Most of it is spent eating with friends off campus. He has spent some money for medical/RX copays, a couple of cab rides, and a few school related supplies (he always remembers to tell us about these bills, I guess so we will understand should he need to hit us up for a few dollars).</p>
<p>Our kid was not eligible for work study, but our deal with her was if she didn’t have a job then we wouldn’t give her an allowance. I didn’t care if it was 5 hours or 15 hours, but she had to have a job while she was in college. I also didn’t ask her what she was spending her money on, but she got her set amount of money, once it was gone, it was gone.</p>
<p>My point of my kid having a job on campus wasn’t so much she needed that money. She needed a job to show her future employer that she could hold down a job. In the long run, it helped her in getting her summer internship and ultimately her job after graduation. She also learned how hard it was to earn $10/hour and how far it didn’t go.</p>
<p>njfootballmom - D1 was in a sorority (going to multiple parties most weekend nights), active in the student government, with a very heavy course load, and she was able to hold down multiple jobs while in school.</p>
<p>old fort…my son will also be going to a lot of parties! He will go to the sorority ones too!</p>
<p>Some people might not realize that football is very time consuming in the fall. They are required to lift usually 3 times/wk in the morning . I hope it’s not more at his new school. Usually they lift very early, before classes. Practices are for 2-3 hours later in the afternoon M-Fri, sometimes it is meetings only on M and Fri is a mix. Games are Saturdays and sometimes Fri night is spent traveling. Sundays are often off.The times can vary, but you would have to have either a very understanding employer or coach to make it work. An on-campus job/work study would probably be more flexible. I know there are those that do it, but they have to very well organized and disciplined and mine won’t be ready this fall.</p>
<p>Obviously they are excused from practice for classes, not sure how much missed time would be accepted for work. The truth is that the more you practice the better you play, and the more playing time you get.</p>
<p>I imagine this type of schedule is similar for most sports.</p>
<p>The coaches claim that employers like to see athletics on the resume because it means they have learned teamwork , dedication, time management and possibly leadership. I hope this is true because his work experience will probably have gaps if he sticks with it. And, yes, we know he’s not going to the NFL!</p>
<p>He will work if he can find something this spring, and for SURE in the summer.</p>
<p>My daughter probably spends 25-50 bucks a week of the money that she earned for last summer. We require her to buy her own books…it’s amazing how they care what they cost when coming out of their pocketbook. She told me she got a Spanish book with no cover for 5 bucks last week. If I was buying her books she would not be willing to go without the cover and I would be spending 100 dollars for that same book.
I do buy all of her clothes and reasonable haircuts and color. But there will be a weaning process on all of this too. She is starting out with good coats, boots, shoes etc but most of these replacements will have to come from her or bday/Christmas gifts.
Can I afford to continue buying her clothes and other misc item? Yes. Should I? No.
I really believe it is part of becoming an adult…if she has to shop at Goodwill then so be it. Ramen noodles-it’s part college life. I refuse to stunt her growth by always carrying the water for her.</p>
<p>My son is very lucky, his high school job has hired him back every time he comes home on break. He made over $600 in just 3 weeks over Xmas. I believe having a part time job in high school was a very important factor when it came to his college acceptances. I think colleges like to see that a kid can handle a job along with maintaining good grades and EC’s (including two sports which had practice every day and meets on school nights and weekends and two bands, which also had practice every day.) </p>
<p>We haven’t required him to get a job while he is on campus. During sailing season, practice is every afternoon for 3+ hours and regattas almost every weekend, both days, and usually a 4-6 hr. trip away.</p>
He was absolutely broke all semester and we didn’t send him a cent. I put $50 in his bank account before he had to fly home and told him it was there for emergencies and nothing else. This semester he had more going in, and I think he’s a lot smarter about how fast he goes through it. He also TA’s, so he makes some money each week.</p>