<p>My father went to college after being in the Army. He was quickly married and had an infant daughter (me!). He went to school full time, graduated in 4 years AND worked to support his new family during this time. My mother was also in school full time and graduated in 4 years during this same time frame. They supported themselves through school (work, student loans, GI bill, etc). There were no parental contributions to their living or school expenses or otherwise - they both came from extremely modest means (my father’s mother was a widow with 5 children!).</p>
<p>The story I loved most from my Dad’s days in college was that he had only 10 cents a day for extra spending money. That was enough to buy a cup of coffee OR a donut at the local coffee shop for his break, not both. And each day he’d have to decide which one to have, because he couldn’t afford both.</p>
<p>Maybe because I also grew up in modest means (even though as a married adult I now have a comfortable lifestyle), I just don’t get this whole parenting urge (even for affluent parents who have the extra cash to do it) to pay for all tuition, room, board, travel, laptops AND contemplate what sounds like $200/month in spending money. I just think the “just show up to campus” message given to a young adult son/daughter is a position to be questioned. It just seems to me that expecting my adult son/daughter to at minimum earning spending money while at college is an important step toward adult independent living.</p>
<p>Thus, my vote is nada. Or - if the young adult hasn’t been working the summer before college yet and has no savings (frightening prospect in my book) - give them one month of spending money and the idea that he/she should get a campus job in order to have spending money from that point on. </p>
<p>If nothing else, it is reasonable to expect a child to take fulltime course load AND have a small life outside of college to pursue hobbies, hold part-time work, perform community service, be part of a religious community, work out or belong to a league sports team, etc. The balance needs to be carefully weighed to give classes a priority… but to do school only and to ignore all the other aspects of the person is a terrible balance. Learning how to juggle a part-time job (like a campus job) is really not a burden and can actually enhance the student’s growth - especially if they can nab a job in their department of interest (grows the resume, gives real-world related experience to their career choice, can help eliminate careers they have no interest). Even if the job is not related to their career choice - it encourages responsibility, time management, provides friends and mentor situations, pride in work well done, people skills, etc.</p>
<p>Sometimes when we give our adult children <em>nothing</em>, we give them the world.</p>
<p>A book that really opened my eyes to the detrimental effects of giving our adult children too much is the book “The Millionaire Next Door.” Good read if only for food for thought.</p>
<p>Annika</p>